All I can say to that is Karma...

Karma's coming to pay me back.

So what if I am fat?

Like I had said before, my ITP is actually not as bad as I thought. It really wasn't as bad, until someone showed up.

This new guy appeared, or rather 2 new guys appeared. One was pretty young and he's friendly, at least he is. The other is not really that young anymore, and he appears to be friendly. It was obvious from the start, that all he wants to do is just chat up with girls, regardless of age. So naturally, because I was sitting somewhat near his area, he talked to me.

It first started out as some friendly talk, asking me about things like why was I on tv, and saying how he thinks my hair is cool and stuff like that. At least then, it was all the nice things that came out of him. As he started talking to the rest of the interns, things started becoming ugly.

Please note that I have only spoken to him for a couple of times which amounts up to a number you can totally calculate using one hand.

He started becoming very offensive. He is sarcastic, very very sarcastic, right from the start, to the rest of his colleagues. It felt like all he wanted to do was chat up girls, then just use them as his toy to shoot and insult them the way he likes it.

He would go on comparing me to the other girls, in the most indirect way you can think of, just to make the point that they are slimmer than I am, and that I am fat and ugly.

Get this, if he was my friend of at least a year or so, I would probably bicker with him the way I do with my classmate. But because I had only met him for less than a month, I found this really offensive and I got really angry.

He would say things like these :

G : "Wow, I wonder how you girls can survive on just $450 a month.

But I think -points at slim friend- you can survive,

-points at other slim friend- you can survive,

-points at other slim friend- you can survive.

-points at me- But I think you can't survive."

You should not say things like that to a person you hardly know.

I am not angry because I don't think I am fat. I know for myself that I am fat, and I embrace that fact. I do complain every now and then, but at least I can pull off things that most people cannot. I see myself as average looking, but less than average in size. I love myself for who I am, and everyone should too.

It is very clear that he have had issues with weight, but really, to resort to this method to make yourself feel better? You are waaay beyond low.

He probably knows that I have something against him now, that's why he hasn't been talking to me. But right now, I am waiting for him to start his verbal abuse, just so that I can shut him up for good.

His words are less than tactful, and he offends people around him, mostly me, but still. I am one who offends many people, but I do not offend them by judging them based on how they look. I get pissed for matters that go against my principles, like stuffing me with work when I am about to leave.

I hate that, but I got over it. I look forward to working after 7pm, because I know there are less people on the train and on the bus.

I am seriously just not going to associate myself with lowlife jerks like that. I do not see the need to insult others just to make myself feel better. I know where I stand, and I am happy with it.

Why are there, seriously some people out there who love to do things like that?

Maybe it's like what a friend of mine would say "It's a face thing."

Don't go wasting time on something else
If you lose me now, I'll lose myself
Hey it's just you and me now

You are circulating in my system
Taking over my transmission
Circulating in my system
Destroying me and all my visions

I still have these pictures of you here
How can all I feel turn into fear
Hey it's just you and me now
I said hey it's just you and me now

It's all over

Take this thought, and send it your way.

I cannot help but offend people around me.

I just cannot help it.

I am just glad that I probably will not be going back there to work after I graduate. I have better things to do with my life.

Me still likey likey him? I guess I still do. I find myself thinking about him during the randomest time of the day. :/ Like I said, I fall in and out of love at the speed of light. I still think about him, even though it doesn't make my heart flutter, or set the butterflies in my tummy. I find it a little sad that I fall in and out of love so quickly. The joy of being in love is that at least there's someone you actually like. At least you could think of that person, at least you could think of doing or saying something nice to that person. It's just a pity that I change my mind too quickly and too frequently.

Today, I spent most of my day thinking about RESPECT.

Respect is not a given, it is something that needs to be earned.

And the more I think about this, the more pissed I get at certain people. I am just glad that in a year or so, you will be out of my life for good. Distance will not put an end to blood ties, but I am determined to put as much as I can between us. Upset about it? Too bad, you lost my respect for you ages ago.

"I think your heart is really like some cheetah butterfly
can fly super fast leh"

I finally got my Jeremy Scott Adidas sneakers. :D 2 down, 3 more to go. (:

Today marks the day I stopped liking my crush. Shocking eh? Not too long ago, I was just saying how that guy went from eye candy, to normal stranger, to crush and now he's back to being a normal stranger. All these happened within 2 weeks. And all Chu could say was :

"I think your heart is really like some cheetah butterfly
can fly super fast leh"

It is not like I want to do it this way, I just can't seem to find a guy who is interesting enough for me to like them for a long time, like Tom Kaulitz. And besides, when I like someone, I guess I expect something in return. At least talk to me or something, even though that poor dude probably has no clue to what has just happened.

I have extremely high expectations for guys, it just happens when the guys around you tends to be shitty.

Today, I coughed my lungs out in the office. The usual happened. My face turned red, I couldn't stop coughing till I got everything out. Joy, I really wish I could say "At least I still have my health." -_-

At least I got to wear my black JS Adidas to work today, and it was totally awesome. :D

There's this little gap in my heart, waiting to be filled up by someone awesome. ... I think it's time to start watching Kpop male idols in action. >D

Am sick~

No, I am not frickin bulimic. D:<

The day started out really badly, and it still is bad right now.

I woke up at the usual time, 7.40am, not because I want to. My alarm was suppose to be set to 7.30am anyway. I got up, found out my period came.
(Yes, I find it to be perfectly fine to announce on my blog my period came. At least people will know that I am a female.)

I left the house late, at 8.20am, and I ran for the bus. I have grown weaker over the years due to my lack of exercise. And what happens? I got off the stop after, and vomited my guts out. Not to mention the sudden coming of extreme stomach cramps that just hit me. I think I finally know what it is like to be a female, complaining about stomach cramps and all. I couldn't walk a few steps without having to bend down and rest. Heh, pathetically weak I know. And it doesn't help that I am not skinny and small.

Being weak somehow only suit the skinny, small or both. The maternal instincts of strangers tend to kick in when they see small skinny people looking pale and weak...

What I am trying to say is, during the time when I needed help, kinda, nobody, I REPEAT : NOBODY, offered to help. I was right outside SP when this happened. Heh, I am just glad the taxi uncle was nice enough to say "Take care ah! GET WELL SOON!" when I alighted, and he watched me till I got into the lift. Nice people are the mere minority in this world. Sad, isn't it.

So yes, I am at home now, after resting. So I decided to blog earlier today.

I am thinking whether I should go back to work or not. I mean, I am feeling alright already. :/ And also because I need to collect my shoes at town later. :/

Also because, I am damn lazy to call my LO and my in-charge to inform them that I am sick. I called my LO, liaison officer, and she didn't pick up. I called my in-charge, and she was in a meeting with Big Boss. Scary~, but yes. Now I am at home and I am thinking of going back to work. Seems like I am looking forward to work everyday now, which is not suppose to happen. D:

Love is all around~.

What started as an infatuation has evolved to being a crush. Ironic thing is, he started out as an eye candy, I lost interest in him within a day, and TA DAH, he's now my crush. -_-

Not many people actually know who he is, and even lesser know what he looks like. Extremely shocking for someone who blabbers out all her secrets to the people around her.

Reen has been an extremely good friend recently by deciding to share her things with us, that includes her virus. D: 4 out of the 5 interns are down with cough/runny nose/ sore throat. And I have attained an extremely low voice. D: All-time low, even lower than it was before. D:

I was recovering well at first, but somehow it got worse. D: Sigh, what a great thing to happen during ITP.

But it probably is because of me falling sick, that's why not many people actually know about him. :/ Apparently I shut up when I am sick too. D: Danni had a peaceful afternoon today without me bothering her, which she gave two thumbs up for.

Me talking and bursting into fits of coughs... I hope that will end soon.

This post really is nothing much, I just wanted to put that I have a crush on someone now. Oho!

It hurts when you left without saying goodbye...
... Actually not really.

I know karma's coming to pay me back.

Many awesome things have been happening these few days, apart from me being sick. So many that it actually made me think that something really really bad is going to happen soon. There really is a reason why Will.I.Am's Heartbreaker is my theme song.

Some awesome events are in the works, nothing much confirmed yet.

I tried my best to save the world today, by bringing down my own shopping bag instead of using the plastic bags that the cashier usually gives. And 2 words for it : extremely embarrassing.

I somehow felt embarrassed because I feel like I am a hobo when I tell the lady,

"Um, I do not need the plastic bag. Just put them in this bag, thanks."
I was suppose to feel proud, proud of doing something that I know is good for the world. But yet, I feel extremely embarrassed when I took my bag out. :/

Must be the design of the bag. Everyone I know who saw it says it look like a plastic bag.
So in the end, am I actually helping this world or not?

I have come to realise that I am very much like my father in many ways. For example, trying to save the Earth in whichever way we could. But of course, my dad is doing a much better job than I am. I try to save the world, he just does it.

He uses shopping bags all the time, he "encourages" me to use the special wash cloth he bought instead of the paper wipes to mop the floor. And he takes the bus to work, and walks everywhere he could. Ironically, it's the men in my life that inspires me. My boss and my dad.

Both, rather old.
Both, working males.

I am actually extremely glad that my boss said that he saw me on TV. This shows that... I have a recognisable face, or that he actually remembers me, one of his 5 interns whose names he probably cannot really remember. And also, someone I actually know saw me on TV. SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY SAW ME ON TV.

I know I am making a huge fuss out of a short interview on TV. But seriously, it is TV. -_-

I could just be attracted to you.

I don't get how a simple ... from you could make me so happy. And when you didn't ... it actually made me a little sad inside. ROAR!

I am so grossed out by myself. D: Stalker Roo strikes again and this time she found out that he's attached, most likely.

There are loads of things I want to blog about, but because they are all random topics, it makes it hard to have this as a proper entry.

ITP :

ITP has been great. Today I learnt a new word: Selflessness.

Something I lack, obviously, as shown when I complained that the designers kept giving us work JUST BEFORE we have to leave.

And my boss was asking us, the interns, whether the work is ok or not, or something along that line. I popped my head out asking "Huh what?" and he looked at me, right in the eye and said "I SAW YOU ON TV YESTERDAY."

:/ Right.

Jack Neo and his scandals:

Not a fan of his, doubt I ever will be.
And to his scandals, I find it extremely stupid that he would just cry on TV and go "It was all my fault" blah blah blah when he is CLEARLY unrepentant because as stated from his wife, it's not the first time already.

So what makes everyone else think that just because he cried and went on TV means that he will change?!

What's worse, his wife crying then fainting at the press conference. It may sound like I am heartless, but seriously, trying to score some sympathy points are you?!

I do pity the wife, but I do not get why is she still with an asshole like that. Probably for the money I guess. Pfft.

And then there's HIM :

Do not get which part of him attracts me, do not get why am I attracted to him. He is full of everything I do not really like. SO FULL OF IT. I really hope he's attached. :/ It makes me feel better somehow, knowing that he's attached. :D

I probably won't stand a chance anyway. Heh.

41 poops, 6 weeks more to go. ROAR!

You make me want to LALA.

I have a nice in-charge for ITP, but I am just still pissed that the interns are given work 10 minutes to 6pm. Joy, I went home at 7.30pm today, which is not that huge of a deal if you compare me to the rest of the other interns.

I am lazy that way. I hate having to stay back after the working hours that is clearly stated to us. I am nothing like the rest of them who are either, willing to stay back because they have nothing to do, or they have extremely high EQ and will not show that they are affected by this.

I think I just destroyed what is left of my reputation in the company. I complained about it pretty loudly I think. ... Actually I was speaking in my normal voice, but nobody in the company spoke above a whisper. So I am guessing many many people actually heard what I have to say.

Joy. Another day of shit tomorrow.

I am assuming, that I am this pissed today and today only because of PMS, hence the photo above. I usually am pretty upset about it, but for the first time since ITP, I have actually complained it out loud. Roar, and because of that, I have no more good reputation. Not a single bit. JOY, I TELL YOU, JOY!

It disgusts me to no end that you just viewed my profile,
YOU disgust me to no end.

Yes it has been six years, no I have no intentions of having you part of my life again, and MOST DEFINITELY NO I do not want to have any sort of contact with you.

Like I said, you disgust me to no end.

44 days..

What do you want from me?

It's one of the days where I feel extremely depressed and feel extremely self-conscious of everything I do. A day where I feel like a miserable blob just waiting for someone to poke me so I'll roll away to a little corner where nobody will find me.

I wonder if I am being too hard on myself, that when I try to please others and do as I am told to, in the process I have failed to please myself and stand up for what I have believed in.

I am unbelievably sensitive to things around. So sensitive that I become paranoid over everything. I think someone in the company hates me, I just think so. And I always thought I will get fired. Sensitive much?

ITP is getting harder with each passing day. I dread each day where I have to go down to Raffles Place for work.

Design VS Function and Practicality.
Standing up for what you believe in VS Doing what is acceptable to meet other people's expectations.

Design school really messes with your head.

This really is a cruel world.

45 days more...

One of the few things I do not get, why do the designers not give us work to do till the end of the day, just before we go home?

:/ A certain someone whom I had met not too long ago has left my heart fluttering at the thought of him, and setting off the butterflies in my tummy. :/ Thing is, 5 minutes of my life, and that's what I get...?

Joy, my life is becoming so much better.

I think someone in the company dislikes me... Probably because I didn't smile back at her when she smiled at me I think. ... Because since then, she doesn't smile at me anymore. :/

46 days more...

Today hasn't been all that bad. :D

I finally had a breakthrough with the designs of the cabinets, with many thanks to Jeff Ho. HAHAHA, apparently ontography helped me a lot. Random sketching apparently helped me come up with something decent to hand in tomorrow.

Sad, I can only look forward to lunch tomorrow. RAH!

47 days more...

Many things have happened recently to the Kpop world.

I can now, very confidently, say that I am no longer a fan of 2pm.

So much shit has happened, it just puts everything into perspective for me. JYPE, you're really not as awesome as I thought you were before.

Today, ITP day 2. 47 days more...

And already, I made a few mistakes. Sigh, it really doesn't help that Big Boss wants to meet all the interns this Friday.

I doubt I have mentioned this. But as friendly as Big Boss looks, we have never once seen him smile before. Our first encounter was on the first day of work, obviously. And what he did first was yell at the top of his lungs... at a group of workers. :/ He yelled in front of them, behind them, literally, and we could hear him like... miles away. D:

And the other times we encountered each other, really, it never got past his stern face and our awkward smiles.

;A; Why do I get this feeling I will get fired soon. D:

I am seated near the meeting room, and Big Boss is in the meeting room all day long. The only thing that is separating us is a thin piece of tinted glass. And because of my inability to keep my shoes to my feet when I draw, I ended up exposing my feet/socks to him for two days straight.

... I am going to get scolded so badly this Friday. ;A;

First day of ITP didn't suck so bad. :D

I went on a site tour today, to see the new company building. And hell, IT IS MASSIVE! D:

Today's outfit was awkward to the max D: I will not wear flats ever again unless I REALLY REALLY HAVE TO.