Depressingly Hopeless...

):

So, after much struggling, I am finally graduating, and leaving, the hellhole known as Singapore Poly, Interior Design.

And I should be happy. Like really, really really happy. But somehow, instead of joy and happiness bursting out of my chest, I became depressed instead. D:

I have had plans for the future, but not everything seems to be going according to plan, which I had already expected.

But instead of picking myself up, like I should, I became so hopeless that I think I am probably really going to end up sad and depressed, doing an admin job for $1k/mth.

I need to find that bit of conviction I had during my internship. The conviction I had to make sure that I avoid doing Interior Design for the rest of my pathetic life.

Dear Lord...

Let me get a reply.

This is what I want to do for the rest of my life

& I would give up anything for it.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

In Korea, being respectful is being emphasized because it is THAT important.

When the younger generation show respect to their elders, in return they get the same amount of respect that they deserve.

These days, it is obviously not something common seen because I feel that young people are not getting the respect they deserve as a person.

You see, when we are young, we are being taught that we have to listen to what our parents say, we have to be respectful to our elders etc.

I see myself as someone who have those moral values instilled in me.

But I cannot help but feel that this is not going to work out for me.

Let's see eh...

I am currently working at a children clothes shop. I am a part-timer because I was a student and I could only afford to work on certain days of the week. So obviously, there would be a full-timer who is working there most of the time, and I would come work when she needs to have her day off.

The system is rather simple, no fuss at all.

But there is something insanely wrong with this lady, let's call her S.

There was another full-timer before S appeared. And the full-timer left because of some issues she had with the boss, which was really my bosses' loss.

The full-timer is not only capable, she is also not as scheming and is overall a nicer person.

But anyway, she left after Chinese New Year last year, so S got hired and from then on, everything has gone downhill.

See, S first started out as a rather nice lady. She would do everything within her job scope, which was to make sure that there are labels on the clothes and that the clothes are being displayed out.

But slowly, she started revealing her true colours...

She started hiding the products, most of the products that are sellable. And she would always get her friends to come down and buy stuff from her, oh, and make sure to tell those regular customers to come down and buy clothes whenever she is working which right now means from Tuesday to Saturday.

And whenever I have slightly better business on a day that was suppose to be a rather quiet day, say Monday, because people hardly go out shopping after work on a Monday night, she would call me up and start questioning me, and start ordering me to do things for her.

Like sweep the floor for her, and changing the water.

HELLO?! It is not as if I do not perform all these house keeping tasks. I sweep the floor too ok, every night after I close the shop.

And changing of water is really not something necessary because we never had a pail of water in the shop till she put one in for no rhyme or reason.

She would make me fill the pail up with water, and at the end of the week, I am suppose to change it.

Can anyone understand why I am so frustrated?!

If it is something for the greater good, maybe I wouldn't complain as much.

But see, if I need something in the shop that requires me to change it weekly, and I am the only one using it, I will not ask her to bring it in and make her change it for me when she has no use for it at all.

For some reason, she sees me as an idiot.

I eventually did find out about her scheming little evil plan, hiding all the products. And I just started digging through all the drawers and everywhere else in the shop, and just started hanging every single piece I thought was nice enough to be displayed out.

And two days into my counterattack, she called me up at the shop, and scolded me, telling me not to hang out anymore clothes because there is no more space.

-_-

Yes, scolded, I am not exaggerating here.

Earlier this week on Monday, S was not feeling well, and I was told to take over the shop while she stay at home to rest, not telling me that she was on MC for 2 days.

I already had plans on Tuesday, but because I had to take over her shift, I pushed it back to Wednesday.

Tuesday evening, she called to tell me she was on MC for 2 days and that I have to come to work the next day.

EMPHASIS ON HAVE TO.

You do not tell someone you have to do something or go somewhere because it doesn't give the other person allowance to reject.

I could not push my events for Wednesday any further, because I was suppose to meet up Dorothea and pass to her my camera. And no, I am not blaming her, you ignorant boob.

That night, I told my boss that I could not work on Wednesday because I have something on and I asked if it was ok with her.

My boss asked if I could open shop for a while first, I said I could, and I apologized for skipping out halfway.

The next day, S called me up and scolded me, yes scolded. Saying that I should have told her that I could not work on Wednesday, so she could come down, powering through her sickness and pain, to open up the shop.

Look, I am not being paid extra for coming down the two days she took leave. I still get my basic hourly pay which is pretty much minimum wage. It is not like I will earn a lot more money if I turned up. I am paid hourly, so if I do not turn up for work for that couple of hours, I am not being paid at all.

It just frustrates me to no end that she, a full-timer, has been plotting and scheming to get me into trouble.

It will not be her first time anyway, she has succeeded in getting my mother to quit her job at this shop.

And I am very sure she wants me to leave as well so she can get her daughter to come work at this shop. Since it is near her school (her daughter is studying in the same school as me) and she doesn't have to do a lot because her mother dearest, S, would most likely be there and help her out by hanging out all the clothes, changing the water weekly, and getting some of her regular customers to go frequent the shop whenever her daughter is working.

I am just glad that I will be quitting soon, just so I do not have to face S and her pile of crap at the shop anymore.

I am very sure that just because you are not of a certain age in Singapore, you will not get the basic respect as a human being.

I remember being in Secondary 2, having the "time of my life" with the constant teasing, bullying, and living my life as a social outcast.

Turning to my form teacher for help has labelled me as being a drama queen in class when I requested for me to be put into another class.

But when this other girl come crying to her and ask to be put into another class, my form teacher sat down with her and talked to her till she calmed down.

Seriously people, what the fuck is this shit?!?!???!!

Seriously, if it isn't against the "social code of conduct" to yell at the adults just get a little respect here, I would do it.

I really really would.

I can only imagine yelling at my teacher would give me a direct route to suspension because the teacher has "lost all face" in front of other students.

And yelling at the full-timer will just give her more reason to get me out of the shop.

I HATE PEOPLE. I.HATE.PEOPLE! D<