I really hate being at home, stuck with my family.

I really really hate it.

I hate it when all my family does is just argue over money matters, over who does the housework, over every nitty gritty stuff that happens at home.

I have a mother who assumes that everyone in the family should give her money, who assumes that everyone in the family is earning a lot but yet is not contributing any to her.

I have a father who takes it out on me whenever he is angry that the one doing the housework is he. He yells, he shouts, he throws my stuff away.

It does not help that I am usually the one who gets it the most. It does not help that I am always being put on the same level as my brother.

It really makes me think whether are they even proud of me. Proud of who I am, proud of me as their daughter. When I told them I was a finalist of the SGBlogAwards, they did not even congratulate me. All they wanted was a share of the prizes if I had won. They were already dividing the prizes among themselves. And nothing else. That is, excluding my brother who surprisingly congratulated me.

You know what, nothing really helps unless I am away from them.

I hate this family so much.

Do not come telling me "They are your family, you must love them."

I really cannot be bothered to give two flying fucks about that. I do not really care whether the world sees this or not.

I respect them as my parents, but if you want me to love them the way I used to, it is pretty much impossible.

You can apologize for the things you have done to someone else, but you can never erase whatever you have left behind. Faint traces of it still remains.

I do not need this. I had a perfectly great day today. Finding out that I won a pair of tickets to Up, on top of G.I. Joe. I had a great lunch in school today, and I made a really nice omelette this afternoon. It all turned out great until my dad came back and started yelling his head off at me, telling me how much I keep bullshitting like my brother.

I no longer fucking believe in karma. Do not even try using it on me.

This world is about fighting for what you want. Does not matter what underhanded methods you use to get it.

Comments disallowed.

I AM FUCKING HAPPY RIGHT NOW.
MMHMM!

I JUST WON MYSELF ANOTHER PAIR OF MOVIE TICKETS TO THE UP MOVIE PREMIERE. :D

So next week, I will be awfully busy.

Monday, Up movie with Ah Munna.
Tuesday, G.I. Joe with Val.

I am so happy right now. :D
All thanks to OMY.sg and Nuffnang. :D

I shall try winning as many movie tickets as possible. Hopefully soon, Nuffnang will notice my "active" presence in their contests and ask me to be the featured of the month of August. Hopefully.

This week is a good week. :D

-whine-

So many things I really want to complain about. D:

I was suppose to pack my messy room, but I went and took a nap till 6pm. D: So my messy room remains unpacked and awfully dusty.

So many things I want to whine about.

It is down to the last two days of vote rallying. I seriously highly doubt that anyone actually reads my blog, other than close friends.

HELLO PEOPLE OUT THERE! PLEASE READ MY BLOG! D:

My blog is a lot less colourful nowadays. I really want to get a new camera, so I can just fill it up with random pictures EVERYDAY. :D

I am not feeling like myself these few days. Maybe it is because I know there is just a slight slight chance that I will win this. But highly not because the other bloggers are really strong. D:

... Imma quit this whining and start thinking about how awesome I am, maybe that will make me feel a lot better. >D

Whether I win or not, I probably will still be grateful that I am a finalist. That shows that I do have what it takes to be a good blogger.

... I really want to drink cream soup. D: And eat more chive pancakes. D:

I have been spam watching Ernie videos. :D

As the voting period is approaching the end, I somehow worry that I will end up not winning anything at all.

So far, I have lost 2 contests, won a pair of G.I Joe movie tickets, won a pair of Hannah Montana movie tickets, which turned out to be really lame. Thank goodness I won it and not pay it out of my own pocket.

I lost the 2 which probably meant a lot more to me because both has something to do with money. :/ Depressed as I am, I guess I just have to suck it up and move on to other contests. Through the many contests, I will hone my skills as a blogger, and become so awesome that I can charge people $500 per advertorial! MMHMM!

I am not that greedy, I just wish for $500 per advertorial. ... And hopefully, to be sponsored by an awesome hair salon. I do not really care whether it is a salon that has tons of Mediacorp celebrities on their list of regulars. I just want to be sponsored by a hair salon with awesome colouring skills to boot. :D

And I want to do blogshop advertorials. D: Sponsored advertorials by giant brands!

D: The more I blog about it, the more greedy I get. D: I shall just stop at "I WANT TO BE ABLE TO EARN $500 PER ADVERTORIAL!"

I just hope I do win the Best WTH Category. I really hope so, but I have not been praying much for that.

I think it will really suck very much to be part of the top 10 and not win anything at all. D: It is like getting your hopes up high of being a winner, fantasizing about the fame and fortune which is suppose to be coming your way, only to have that perfect bubble burst when you realise that you are not the winner of anything.

SO JUDGES, IF YOU ARE READING THIS! PLEASE PICK ME! I AM YOUNG, AND FULL OF CREATIVITY WITH HAIR IN A SPECTRUM OF COLOURS!

PICK ME PICK ME!

Contest Entry: UP

Up is a movie I have been waiting for quite some time. :D

After watching the trailer, obviously the characters Carl and Russell caught my attention.

Carl, the old man who previously was a balloon salesman.

Russell, the overly zealous young boy scout.

I really like how Carl has that tendency to go "No!" to whatever Russell wanted. Like when Russell offered him help, when Russell asked if he could come inside, and when Russell asked if he could keep the dog. And I like how he used balloons to move from where he lived to South America. As if to say "Just because it is something you think is not normal, does not mean that I should not do it"

I love how he is part of the comedy action going on when he has absolutely no intention of doing so.

And Russell, I love how he is always so enthusiastic about everything like wanting to keep that talking dog and that weird bird. :D And him thinking of ways he could earn badges for himself.

"I could help you... cross your yard~"

Pictures of the characters in action. :D

And in case anyone is interested, the voice actor for Russell is an Asian American. :D

He is 9 this year, and he got the part because he had that innocent look which fits the character really well.
... And also because he could not stop talking. HAHAHA!
Jordan Nagai, voice actor for Russell.

This movie is all about adventure, with an awesome moral behind it. :D

Regardless of age, in times of adversity, you will always end up finding a true friend who is there for you, by your side, all the time.

And Carl is like a reflection of us people in real life. As compared to young Russell who is so full of life, enthusiasm, and so full of dreams, we seem to have lost ourselves as we age. Carl has only decided to pursue his dreams at age 78, when he is old and graying.

In contrast to Russell, Carl is always dull and rigid, not doing things that he really wanted to do. It seems that Russell is there for him to remind him of his dreams, to do what he wanted to do, which was to fly to South America.

We conform to what society deems as proper and normal, anything else is just being frowned upon. Lucky for Carl, he managed to achieve what he wanted to do all along. And we should too.

... After reading so much on my blog, do you think you should catch the movie?!

OF COURSE YOU SHOULD! :D UP WILL BE TOTALLY AWESOME!

So do remember to catch Up when it is showing in the cinemas near you. :D

Up in Singapore Cinemas opening 7th August 2009.

My brother wants me to blog about him.

So here goes.

My brother likes to snoop around. I found him on my Facebook when I have no recollection of adding him at all. He reads my stuff whenever possible. My diary, my inbox for email and smses, and probably message histories on MSN too.

So there, that's my brother, the one who likes to snoop around my stuff.

I wish that I am 10 right now. So at least when I do what I want to do, I will not be that old.
I wish I had more chives at home, so I can make more chive pancakes. :D
I wish Singapore was really near USA and Germany AND KOREA.
I wish that fats can never be accumulated, so there is no need for me to lose weight at all.
I wish I can get my pay tomorrow, I have shitloads of things I want to get online.
I wish the 2 skirts and the belt will not get sold out so quickly.
I wish I can get my braces done soon.
I wish I can get that Fujifilm Z30 camera soon.
I wish I had more money.
I wish people would call me more often, so I can listen to my Fire ringtone and do random dances with Ah Munna before I pick up the call.
I wish people will tag on my blog more often.

In case you do not know, it's that link below every post with that "0 comments".
It pops out, and you can comment on the post.
:/

G.I. Joe

So the other day, I went to watch Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen with my brother and his uh, fiance? which was totally awesome by the way. Visual effects, AND THE AUTOBOTS! :D

And just before the show started, they were showing random trailers of future films to be shown. And one of them was G.I.JOE. ... And it looked pretty awesome. :D

I all along thought that G.I.JOE was like, a real dude, not a team of people or something along that line. D:

After all, their action figures are like just one person. And it seems like I always see the same one. D: There is no distinct difference to me in their appearance. D:

They just look like this all the time.

FINE! I was more into Barbie dolls than those action figures ok.

So yep, the trailer looks awesome. And so, I went on to research on what G.I.Joe is.

So it actually is a team of elites, I assume. Something like the Varia in Hitman Reborn!, the special squad only brought out during desperate times. After all, desperate times call for desperate measures. They were to counter some terrorist group which is determined to take over the world~. So this movie is... action-packed with tons of high tech gadgets and weapons. Somewhat like Batman, full of high tech stuff, just... more realistic than it. After all, Batman is a rich person, but how can a rich person keep up with stuff like that. D:

D: I know I really should not be doing this, especially when I have so much work that needs to be done right now.

And just nice, OMY.sg sent me an email to take a quiz on it.
D: I was to see if... I would actually make the grade as a G.I.Joe recruit. Hey, I may play with Barbie dolls when I was younger, but I am... actually pretty tough ok. ... I think D:

With that thought, I took the quiz. D:
And I realise, how much I do not know about military stuff. D:


You can take the quiz here.


I got frickin 2 correct answers out of the 8 questions they asked me. Gah. Depressing.

Then again, I really am not that into those military stuff. I just like to watch action-packed movies. :D

I really hate Wednesdays.

It always rains in the morning, just before I have to wake up. D: And I get so damn hell sleepy during class, I end up dozing off.

Screw the fact that classes start at 8 from Wednesday to Friday. In my opinion, classes should start at 10. >(

And end earlier that 6pm please.

Right now, all I want to do is shrivel up in a little corner and cry my eyes out.

Looking back, I realise I should never have trusted anyone. I am no good with betrayal. I value loyalty over everything, except money.

I should not have opened up to anyone.

I should have just kept to myself till the end of my poly life.

I have succeeded in pissing a handful of people off this week.

I am guessing that I pissed my bitching buddy off with my constant smacking and pinching. But really, with a mouth so foul, or guai lan in Singapore context, like his, can you resist smacking and pinching him with your dying will. Can you honestly blame me for that?

With him going on and on and on about, ... I do not, everything that can probably annoy you like "You should not be scared of the thief, just show him your face. It is enough to scare him away." and more along the line of me being old and ugly.

Yes, it is a him. -.- And I think I shall just ignore him from now on. Ignoring people like him makes one a lot happier.

And I think I pissed the girl in my Gems class for emailing her my part of the project frickin late. :/

There are probably more people, but I really do not want to bother anymore.

I do not want to know what is going on with that handful. Either I am that annoying, or they are having terrible moodswings. ... I am going with the latter.

Right now, apart from this handful of people around me, I think my life is more or less pretty much ok. I am making progress in my assignment, even if I get stuck way too many times. :/

:D And I bought new shoelaces, again. :D

The more I think about it, the more I feel that I should not be in Interior Design.

I get stuck way too often in projects. I am not having a great time in the course at all. I just wonder why am I still in it, and why have the lecturers not come talk to me about it yet.

Why, oh why.

I had a really great day yesterday. :D

I went with part of the class to Jp for Ice Age 3. :D

D: Then I had to rush down for work without saying goodbye to all of them, except to Valerie. D: I ended up being half an hour late.

My brother came home yesterday, after two long weeks of reservist. :D And we went to watch Transformers 2 at Great World City. And we had macs! :D MAAACS! :D Their awesome chilli sauce is back. :D

Oh, he saw what we gave him. And he did not cry. -.- Ipod shuffle, he is not touched by it. Pfft.

But the engraving was awesome. :D

... Anyway, some overdue photos. :D

THERE WAS THIS BIG, HUGE CLOUD ONE DAY.
... A patch of cloud? Or uh, a piece of cloud?

:D
Someone stepped on the snail.

And a lizard.

And I am guessing a car, or a few rammed over this bird?

:D AND A WORM I SAW AT HORT PARK! :D

... I really need to get a better camera. Something with auto-focus, preferably. Rah!

There is something fucking wrong with my mother. I can only provide her with the 4D results. And she insist that I have the ones for Toto on my phone. And she went on saying that I am too much, for not providing her with the Toto results.

Dear Lord, why do I have such a mother. Really, why?!

I was having a really good day today, seriously. Until she came in and ruin everything. EVERYTHING. Why, dear mother, why?

I had a really good time today with the class, eating, laughing and all. It probably was a really good time, because I really never had an experience like that before. I have friends who abandon me for popularity, and I really was never the popular one. Class gatherings, class outings, I was always either the one who get notified last minute, or I never get invited and can only get to listen to others talk about it when it was all over.

For once, I felt like I am a part of something.

But when I reach home, I was immediately being dragged away forcefully from my own little world. Sometimes, I really wonder, if it was better for me to stay out till late at night than to come home and face my mother. I really wish that I can call my mother my best friend. Sadly this is something impossible. I find it way too hard to communicate with her.

I envy people who are on really good terms with their mothers. Whose mothers support their every decisions, encourage them to pursue their dreams and stand by them in times of need. My mother takes away everything. My confidence, my money and my little time of happiness. She never fails to mention how fat I was, how other girls are prettier than me. She never gets tired of taking my money and not returning it at all. And she never fails to make me get pissed and mad at her because of the things I cannot provide for her.

No, I am not from a single-parent family. Sometimes maybe it will be better if I was. No offense to those out there. Usually those who are from single-parent families, they tend to be on better terms with their parent.

It really is... just too hard for me to open up to someone like my mother.

I think I am really thinking too much. D:

I thought today is the 8th. D: The day my items gets delivered to my place. D: This means I have to worry again tomorrow, about who will be at home to collect it for me. D: And it does not help that I keep having nightmares that nobody is at home to collect it, therefore the delivery guy went and pass it on to "a good neighbour" of mine who has all intentions of stealing it. D:

My work has been progressing well, I hope. It is just depressing to see that I am not putting in enough effort to make it look awesome... like Valerie's. I shall just hand in and hope for the best. :/

D:

I think I am feeling sick. D: The recent downpours is having a detrimental effect on my health. D:

I am feeling insecure about my future.

It is not something approved by anyone in my family. Especially since it is something that nobody believed in.

Much as I want to do whatever I wish to, I think I will still need to get my family's approval for my conscience to be totally clear. ... I need to think about my family a lot lesser. If I cannot do whatever I want even if my family disapproves, then I guess my future is done for.

I think I am progressing well in my assignment. After I am done with the photoshopping and putting the pictures in, I think I can safely say that I have completed 4 today.

Nowadays, I am feeling awfully annoyed. And I have random moments of explosion.

It annoys me to no end that people keeps wanting to compete in school work. Like FUCK YOU, you go fucking do your own work and stop competing. You are just competing with yourself, and nobody else. I do not give two flying fucks if "competing with one another helps to 'encourage' you to do better". You are probably the only fucker who thinks so. Go eat my shit and think about it. Asking for one's work to "use as reference" is just another way of saying "I WANT TO COPY YOUR WORK". Grow up, little fuckers. Then again, you probably need the competition, after all you are just a bunch of losers with no originality since you have to resort to copying instead of either sticking with what you have, pushing yourself further and making it work.

I know this looks obscene. But rest assure there is nothing obscene about this. I WAS WEARING CLOTHES WHEN I TOOK THIS PHOTO.

;_; See the huge difference in my skin colour. ;_; Red, so red.

Rah, I have yet to start on my assignment. D: In deep deep shit yo.

And also, just because someone "treasures the friendship they shared with you" does not mean that they will get it back in return. Because some people just do not deserve it at all. And I really am awfully glad that I am no longer in contact with those who do not deserve to be part of my life at all.

YOU, are not worthy of my time.

As ridiculous as it may sound, I really am glad that my social circle is small. At least I know who is genuine and who is not, and who actually bothers to recognise my existence in the group.

I believe I have the right to pick who I want to hang out with. Why would I want to hang around people who does not give a fuck about you, abandon you whenever convenient, and yet still cling on to you when nobody else is there for you to cling? And why would I want to hang around with people who just does not bother at all?

Do not come and try to be like some hypocrite, asking what is wrong, and why am I behaving like this. I probably am the only one who ever did this to you, because I am probably the only one who dares to show my displeasure with the way you handle your friendship with others.

I do not need your apology or your fake sympathy. I am way over it. I do not need you and you do not need me. I am fine and really happy with the way things are right now.