I wonder...

I had a dream last night.

And someone in my dream told me that God was around, along with 3-4 random others.

I felt a presence, but it was not a warm, loving, comforting presence.

In fact, that presence itself, was so overwhelming that it was choking me.

:/

I wonder...

What do all these mean? :/

Spammers, beware.

Sometimes when people spam on my tagboard,

(Refer to my tagboard and you'll see.)

I reply back with kinda sarcastic remarks.

Because I no longer see the need to be nice to people.

Random Rant #2

School sucks...

Does anybody know?!

I rely much on omens and signs.

I just mailed out my resume to a company I really want to join.

Before I mailed it in, I was full of confidence. Like literally so full of it that it's showing on my face.

I was confident that I will get in when I mailed it in.

But 15 minutes after I mailed it, I started regretting my decision.

I think instead of impressing the people at the company, I think I will be embarrassing myself more. D:

Sigh...

My life is full of regrets.

I have been praying much to God, asking him to help me get into the company I desperately want so badly.

I pretty much pray to God, asking him for things I want... Probably am not suppose to though. :/

And God doesn't really show me signs all the time.

(... Because everything happens for a reason, and everything has its own time and place. If I can't get in, its because I am not meant to... blah blah blah.)

So every now and then, when I get insanely desperate, I will ask God to show me a sign which is usually pretty stupid...

It's so ridiculous that it's on par with the "I WILL MARRY THE FIRST GUY I SEE WHEN I OPEN MY EYES IN 10 SECONDS" thingy... :/

So yesterday, feeling really depressed, I asked God to show me yet another ridiculous sign.

I was going to play the gashapon machine after work, and I asked God to show me a sign :

If I am going to get in, I will get 1 of the 2 characters I want.

If I get another character, I will not get in at all.

And mind you, there are about 6-8 characters, so if I were to play, I would have a good... 25-33% chance of getting the character I want.

End up, I got the character I didn't care for. D:

Needless to say, I went home feeling extremely depressed, and I ended up finishing another quarter of my tub of Phish Food. ):

Now I'm sad, AND fat. ):

I do realise that it is stupid to put my faith into little games like these... But sometimes, all I really want is a sign, you know? Something that will put my heart at ease, something that assures me that I am not going to fail again this time.

I am just insecure like that. ):

Ryuk 2.0.

:D

This is Ryuk 2.0.

He hasn't fully transformed yet because I have not found the devil casing for Ipod Touch 4 and even if I managed to find it, I probably won't buy it anyway. :/ The horns are a little... hard to deal with.

Richard Harmon as the display... just for the next few days. ._.

And Ryuk will not be complete without a photo of Tom. :D

It is still a little hard for me to believe that my red nano is dead. D: Or about to die...

I would go home with my Ipod in my pocket, and when I take it out, I would get a shock every now and then when I see it being so huge. D:

I may be using my Ipod Touch now, but I will still get my nano fixed. Just for old time sake, seeing that it's like a best friend to me.

It was there with me when I took my O levels, entered Singapore Poly, and so many other events. It has probably lasted me for a good... 4 years or so.

):

Dear Ryuk 1.0, you will be dearly missed. ):

Richard Harmon is cute. :D

I think it is about time I start to settle down a bit...

Not settle down as in starting a family, dammit.

But be less insane than I was a few years ago.

So yes, I guess this means I will not be having any more super awesome hair colours, like my half blond, half black hairdo. ):

Recent events have made me realise that I have friends around me, just that... they are not the sort of friends that I hang out with all the time? If that makes any sense...

I am everybody's good friend, just not the best friend.

The friend that everyone talks to, but will never think about asking her out just to hang out.

I would admit that I felt a little sad at first, when I think about it.

But how can or how will anyone show me sympathy?

I am probably known for being a bitch.

(Labelled a bitch, and proud to be one. HAH.)

There always have to be a group of people I dislike. And when I dislike a particular person, no matter who is the one who ask me to go out, if that person I dislike is there, I will not join in.

I refuse to be around people I dislike because in my head, I will just mock them from top to toe. From the way they dress, to the way they behave and even the things they say.

This post is probably not going to make any sense.

I am tired from working on my FYP. ):

Some things I would like to share...

Ryuk 1.0 is dying, so my dad and I bought a Ryuk 2.0, which most of my classmates have met already. I will update with a photo of him soon. :D

I think Richard Harmon is cute. :D Even if he's a year younger than I am. D:

And while many people make plans to retire in Australia or Florida, I am making plans of my own to retire in Canada. :D

It's such a pretty place and Richard Harmon is Canadian. :D

This means I will be pronouncing OUT as OAT. HAHAHA! :D

My obsession with Richard Harmon has more or less expired, it has been nearly, or even more than 2 weeks since I laid eyes on him...

Oh well, I will need to find a new eye candy soon. D:

Enlighten me...

I don't get this...

Why do people I am, or was, never close to like to pretend that we have been close all our lives?

I mean, it's pretty obvious that I don't mean anything to you, so why do you keep pretending?

I am not upset because people treat me like trash.

I am angry because people treat me like trash and still expect me to be there when they need me.

You are quick to judge, you never listen when I try to make conversation, you make unrealistic goals for both yours and my future, and you constantly bring other people into our conversations, people that I dislike or find insignificant.

I figured cutting off all ties with people like that would be best for my wellbeing, even if it means an even smaller social circle.

So well, thank you.

You have just lost me because I have decided to cut my losses.

And yes, everything is about me because I figured that if I am not going to be nice to myself, nobody else will be.

It's pretty evident, isn't it? From all the shit you dish out on me.

Motivate me...

I had critique today.

And it didn't go as bad as I had planned for it to be,

which is a good thing of course.

This afternoon, when Sooyin asked what is going on with me, I let all the lecturers present know that I have lost interest in the course.

And instead of criticism, I got a pep talk. Which was probably what I need.

I have no idea whether it's because of the weather these days, or because I have really lost interest in everything I have to do.

I am just unable to muster up any energy to do anything. And by energy, I don't mean by the kind you get from food. It's the kind you get from doing something you are passionate about. Or something you would love doing.

The past 2 and 3/4 years haven't been that hard. For some reason, only the last quarter seems to be the hardest to deal with.

Apparently this is who/what I am, even though I am not particularly fond, or proud of this trait of mine where I do not complete everything I set out to do.

I wish for motivation... ):