my role models, i guess.

AGYNESS DEYN IS MY NEW ROLE MODEL!

... i know she is being voted as the Most Annoying Person of 2008 (or is it 2009) in UK because you see her face everywhere there, but still, she gets to hook up with musicians, one after another. D:
i should try becoming as famous as her, maybe then i will have a chance to hook up with tom kaulitz. ... OHOHOHOHO! >D

... i should try becoming famous too. then maybe i'll have a chance to meet tom kaulitz, and sip tea with my pinky in the air while talking to people with this snooty i-am-more-superior-than-you accent. OHOHOHO!

school today is decent. even though i still pretty much dislike most of the lecturers. there's that cindy, who goes on and on misreading other people's names, and a bunch of others that i could not care any lesser. >:/ cindy has been calling Jolene for the past week, and only calls me Roo when Ellen is next to her.

she may not be the one in charge of the entire Yr 2 batch, but at least have the fucking decency to learn our names, or at the very very least, learn how our names are to be pronounced. grrr. annoying poopheads.

all we had today was Theory of Design, learned about Cosmology and how scandalous Greek gods were. D: then we had lunch, handed in our drawings and apparently we are dismissed for the day. D: but they are going to launch the next part of our assignments tomorrow. D: i hope it's something not too difficult, and not too easy. in the middle where i can handle things well. :/

i received an sms yesterday, the girls are uh, intending to have a dinner together on 7th may, thursday at 7pm. i just hope that the workload is more or less, managable on that day. :/ i have not actually gone out to do something... fun for quite a while now. sigh.

... will i ever become someone my family and friends are proud of?

i had a pretty emotional night yesterday. :/ lots of memories come flooding back in my mind. all of which, are nothing good at all.

i just do not get how people can be so shallow, so superficial and so hypocritical. some people claim to be your best friends, but when you get insulted, all they will do is laugh along with the person who insulted you instead of standing up for you, backing you up. not only do they not back you up, they would also gladly ignore your existence just because other people prefers talking to them instead, and then just come up to you in private and go "Let's continue to be friends ok?".

so, does it make you feel better to see your friend being insulted from inside out, being teased and ostracised because she is nothing like your other tall and slim friends, to watch her being torn to bits and pieces inside out, to toy around with her like she's some kind of a joke.

the world is made up fully of superficial beings.

so what am i to you? some sort of a toy, where you derive your morbid pleasure from? or someone you simply picked up along the way to make yourself appear better in front of the rest of the world.

if that is the case, i would really be better off alone. i would rather be alone, than surround myself with people who judge you by the way you look, people who cast you aside when they found better accquaintances, and people who watch you get insulted and teased by that group of "better accquaintances" and laughed, really hard along with them.

staying alive is really exhausting. having to deal with little people like that wears me down, and it's not as if this is a one-in-a-million occurance. stuff like that just happens to me everyday.

sucks to be me, huh?

i dont need your precious apologises, because i have heard it too often that the word "Sorry" has lost its meaning. and even if you apologise, it's not as if you will stop doing whatever you have done to me before. it will just repeat itself, because it's not the first time you have done it to me.

i just want to seek closure to cases like this, but it seems that it is something that will never happen to me. i am not one who just takes everything in, and let it go when people apologise for what they have done. if it was something like, "oh i told you a white lie" or "oh i misplaced something of yours" or "it was just a misunderstanding", cases like that i will definitely let go, because these trivia cases are not worth me bearing a huge grudge over.

i simply hate being ostracised, and i do not like being stuck to like gum when you need help and your other friend simply do not want to help you.

there either is something wrong with me, or people like that are just a huge pain in the ass.

as you can see, we have done all sorts of tourist-y stuff in hongkong.

roar. im in studio now, trying to learn korean and german. :/ my german is progressing well, i think. but my korean is hopeless. D: it's like trying to teach someone... like an American, chinese. D: all the words, i have no idea how to form! D:

sigh.

gems today is not so bad. i found a few people in the same gems as me. :D and one of the guys in Digital Imaging last sem is in the same gems class as me now. ...

i woke up at frickin 6am, just so i could be early to chope a seat for myself. D: frickin 6am, it's an unearthly hour. D< i havent been up at 6 since... 2007. D<

roar! im frickin sleepy ;_;

tom and bill. :DD super cute!

i wonder what is wrong with me for the past two days. D: i have been taking naps recently. 2-hour naps. D: and i havent been eating well. D: I MISSED DINNER! HOW CAN THAT BE EATING WELL. D:

:/ i only look like im this free all thanks to chee leong. :/ being too dependent on people like him is not a good thing. D: i end up not learning anything. it is nice, of course, to be in the same group as him. but i feel as though im not doing anything again. im probably just enjoying a brief calm before the storm. D: maybe the assignment is not that easy, it's just that i have been cutting corners whenever possible, that's why it looks this easy. D:

the weather nowadays is pretty nice. :/ it's not too hot, not too cold, super awesome for sleeping. :DD

i just hope that school ends a wee bit earlier tomorrow.

... imma learn german or korean in studio tomorrow after gems. :D i just dont know which of the two should i bring. my laptop or morpheus? D:

the awesomest, and her brother. :D


i wish it was the holidays. D:

today, is a fucking bad day. and i really hate year two, starting with the lecturers. first they told us that we have to get A2 size papers for our assignment. so yesterday after school, i went all the way down to Bras -fucking- Basah's Art Fiend, like i've said, it's no Friend of mine. i got 50 pieces of A2 paper, because i was helping my classmates buy.

then today, guess what the lecturers said?

"We realise that it wont fit A2 size paper for the 1:10 scale drawing, so we have decided that it should be drawn on A1 paper."

FUCCCCK YOU! you either estimate properly and tell us earlier, or stick to what you have announced and dont fucking change your mind at the very last minute. we may be students, but WE SHOULD HAVE OUR RIGHTS DAMMIT! i feel so manipulated by those lecturers, it's like we're being toyed around with.

grrrrrr!

I SHALL REBEL IN SILENCE! I'LL WEAR MY NAZI SHIRT WHENEVER HUMANELY POSSIBLE.

thank God for the groups who still need A2 paper and yuxuan. :D she's going all the way down to Art Fiend to get A1 papers for herself. so i got her to help me get some too. :D YUXUAN FOR THE WIN!

AND I MANAGED TO SELL AWAY ALL 50 PIECES OF THE A2 PAPER.

gaaaaah, Year 2 sucks so bad. im just going to get through, get over and be done with interior design and then go on doing something that i really want. except that, i have to leave myself with one option, it's a do-or-die thing.

ROAR! I HATE BEING IN YEAR 2! D<

FUCK!
Germany's average temperature nowadays is like 15deg?!
and singapore is like D< hell hot like a furnace! why is singapore so damn near the equator?! WE SHOULD BE PLACED NEXT TO GERMANY!

and about koreans complaining that it's frickin hot during their summers, try living in singapore for a change. D<

i wish the holidays will never, ever end.

too bad it cant.

school pretty much sucked today. sigh, there's the horrible TOD seminars and more assignments. fuck school life. ... that's why all the more i must succeed. no way in hell am i going to continue in interior design.

the assignment brief was.. crap, if i may say so. i should have choped a seat in the front earlier. now we're further at the back, and the board is so far away, not to mention ellen and every other lecturer sounds so muffled when they use the mic. it's either you cant hear, or it's muffled, so what's the point of having a mic in the studio. D<

(... it's not that bad, it's all in the mind. I CAN DO THIS! I CAN DO THIS!)


the class atmosphere, felt weird, for some reason. people like me should really learn how to shut up.

so we are suppose to draw the section and elevation of this part of a building on A2 paper. D: so this means a trip down to frickin art fiend, it's no fucking friend of mine for crying out loud. it sucks the money out of all design students.

i think i bought enough to go around, $0.40 a piece, i bought 50.with about 32 for those who asked me to help them buy, so there's about 18 more to go around.

i fear muji is closing down or something. so many awesome notebooks of theirs are either low or out of stock. roar!

came home, to face another issue. ... my mother, for the gazillionth time, asked if i have money. D< her friends bought some stuff from her through her that MLM business, turns out her fucking friends only have the money to pay her at the end of the month. ... i really wish to tell her that if they dont have the money, dont bother selling it to them. you'll just end up paying for them first. so what's the point. gah, mothers.

tokio hotel : caught on camera dvd set.

IM GETTING THIS!!!!!
:DD

im so damn happy i found it online. :D they have the videos on youtube, but it is not available in my region. D: how depressing. roar!

at least i'll order it online soon! :DD yaaaay!

i dreamt of someone two nights ago. and i read about some uh, news about that person. im not sure whether i believe in destiny, maybe it's just nothing more than a coincidence. ... it's still pretty disturbing and it freaks me out a little.

i shall see if it happens again. :/

... is flying to korea a really huge thing?

something inspirational for a dreamer's soul.

... im not going to let anyone take my dream away.

time is running out for me. D:

i have to take up shitloads of lessons and i dont even know will i make it or not.

i just planned my life till march/april 2011. D: how insane am i, since the dream is so far away, and is under the category of Unattainable.

sigh.

sushi tomorrow. i just hope that i can find someone who shares the same dream as me.

my brother's got a small head. :D

my mother bought botak jones for me today. D: and it wasnt as awesome as i had imagined it to be. it's either not to my liking, or there's something wrong with my taste buds. :/

i had a craving for miso soup with lotsa seaweed with rice today. :/

oh yeah, went to vicky's house today to watch DMC. :D the movie's not bad, just too much vulgarities. D: had lunch, watch somemore videos and an episode of Gintama. then we parted ways. kt and i went home while vicky went back to Fairfield to help out with the Multimedia Club stuff.

... why do the Japanese have such morbid minds?! they simply had to, HAD TO, go complicate things up about twins. D: twins are just normal people, they just had to complicate things up with the "i want people to know me as an individual, and not with my twin" blah blah blah. D:

... twin complex. D<

I ate something super awesome in hong kong. :D


The dick of the bull. :D awesome.
In that bowl, there's uh, the dick, intestines and some pigs blood. :D

:DD BULL'S DICK!

... I wanted the testicles. But apparently they dont sell it, they only sell the entire thing itself. Oh well. I can always try testicles some other time.

It's not that bad actually. It has the same texture as the sea cucumber. :D Jelly-like. :D

I did my hair today. :D Trimmed the back and my fringe a little. And i got myself an awesome dye job. :D Now i have five colours instead of 2 in my hair. :D

... It's not ash gray though. ;_; Because ash gray will fade over time. But the current hair is awesomeeee. :DD I should be renamed as patches or something. :D

So over a period of about 2 hours, I went from being labelled as CHINA girl, to JAPANESE girl. :D Still, KOREAN FOR THE WIN!

Went back to school today to collect my library books. I thought I had to collect about 3 books. Turns out there were 6. DDDDD: Anything to kill time. :D And the best part is, I didn't get to see anyone I know. ISNT THAT JUST AWESOME! :DD

i wish i could fly away and never come back.

why is migrating so expensive? ;_;

i managed to get myself to sleep last night this morning by convincing myself that someday i'll fly to korea and be a korean popstar. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! it's the only thing that comforts me, knowing that i'll fly to korea someday. and i'll totally blend in! :D remember what the hong kongers said! :DD

... D: imma pray hard that they dont think im from china. D:

doing my hair tomorrow! ... maybe i should shave my head or something. :/

an awesome video kt showed me today.
:D

bits of hong kong. :3

imma do my hair on wednesday. :DD happy! then i'll stop by school to pick up more library books. :D

the whole time i was hoping that school will start soon. :/ the timetable's like shit this sem. D: we start late, we end late. i really dont like going home at 6pm. D:

i finally finished my pot of curry. D: i totally mutated my pork curry to onion curry by adding in 2 ginormous white onions, chopped, to half of what was left the other day. D:

im off to attempt learning how to make a blogskin. i really hate facing HTML codes. D: it makes me want to puke. omg. D:

see the family resemblance?
:DD

): im feeling awfully fat right now. and i was thinking of using laxatives to purge whatever that's in me.

... then i realise, i think i had a mild eating disorder back in secondary school. :/ not many people, ... actually nobody knew i was relying on laxatives. D:

:/ too bad if anyone thinks im either trying to get attention, or act stupid, sucks to be you.

im still feeling fat. D: must be the curry rice.

my brother. :)
taken in hong kong, after i sprained my ankle.
... something to support my want need for a new digital camera. :)

today, i feel a lot like my dad. i have been shopping for groceries, doing the laundry, watching channel news asia, washing the dishes, boiling the water, filling up the water bottles and emptying the dust bin. D:

... that reminds me, i need to feed the fish. D:

and im doing all that because i have nothing better to do at home.

im progressing pretty darn well for german class. at least i have leveled up to class 2 right now. :DD

i need to start on korean soon. D: i feel like im running out of time.

... D: there's so many things i want to get online now. D: hot topic is having a massive sale going on, and i finally found the pair of berms i want online. D: and my facial mask is running low. D: omg.

raaaaah, i want a new digital camera.

fujifilm finepix Z30 in white will be good. :DD

gaaaah, tomorrow's going to be curry rice day again. :DD im getting addicted to it.

im in need of a blogskin change. D:

just now, i couldnt help but get angry for no random reason. :/
i once thought, "what the heck, i should just turn into a lesbian because guys are horrible." but when i start thinking about it carefully, females are actually... very annoying.

you watch those chinese drama serials, and usually the females are always at one corner, crying for no rhyme or reason. or if they cry, it's because of something stupid like "i got accused of -insert stupid thing" or "im sick and tired of this!" or they just whine and complain the entire show away. D:

i suddenly just remember how much i hate female educators. :/ lets see ah.
primary 1, my form teacher slapped me because i forgot to get my parents to sign my mental sums book.
mmm, primary 4, i got picked on by every teacher for not bringing my books to school. :/ picked on as in, they'll just cook up some reason just to throw me out of the class. really, just any random reason. one teacher went "Class, remember what i said last week? if she forgots to bring her book again, i'll throw her out of the class, remember?" and the thing is, at that time, all the students were very yes-teacher. so all of them just agreed with what she said, and never bother to defend or anything.
primary 6, got accused of day dreaming in class all the time.
sec 2, form teacher called me a drama queen. refuse to listen to whatever i have to say for myself.
sec 3, my principal gave me 10 demerit points for not cutting my hair. and my mother went "your principal is right!". urgh, i hate those yes-i-think-so-too people. like... FUCK YOU! go eat shit and die!
and in poly, i got accused of making a classmate cry. how awesome can life be man.

hahaha, my life is so full of drama. i think somehow i will prefer having male educators, but then it will just be another stupid reason as to why men are the superior gender and stuff like that. D<

ON A RANDOM NOTE,
I STARTED LEARNING GERMAN YESTERDAY NIGHT! :DD NOW I CAN uh, SAY COLOURS LIKE BLUE, WHITE AND RED IN GERMAN! hahahaha!

raaaah!

i shall blog about hong kong in point form. loads of pictures will be uploaded... once i get them. :DD

1. i shopped a lot!
2. i sprained my ankle. D:
3. mmmm, dim sum is readily available in 7-11 there.
4. many many many cheena people are there, for some reason. D:
5. :DD THE PEOPLE THERE THOUGHT I WAS FROM KOREA. WAHAHAHA!
6. sasa is everywhere too. D:
7. i went to the Venetian City! :DD where they filmed Boys Over Flowers! :DD
8. and i took the gondola ride! :DD
9. D: i went to the Bossini around hong kong, searching for a particular jacket. D:
10. i found it in the end anyway. :DD
11. i bought 2 pairs of shoes and im happy. :DD
12. i saw a vivienne westwood boutique near the hotel!
13. there's a 4-storey high Bossini at mong kok. D:
14. i get car sick easily. D:
15. i liked my bed. :DD
16. there is a serious lack of tv entertainment in the hotel room. D:
17. their standard ticket is the old school translink card.
18. my brother likes to take photos with signboards. :/
19. PEOPLE THERE THOUGHT IM FROM KOREA! (i really cant help it, it's too awesome!)
20. the casino in the Venetian City is... D: ginormous.