): I'm out of happy points.

And I'm tired of life already.

My job is not stressful at all.

But for some reason, I find myself having to drag my body off the bed to get ready for work everyday.

And I dread going to work all the time.

I have no idea what my passion is.

I have no idea what I want to do.

All I know is that I am sick of what I am doing, and I want to quit already.

I think I need a break.

I need a break from work, from people, from all the fuckers who hog onto a slot for classes and refuse to make payment for it.

This is why the happiness level is Singapore is so low.

I spend most of my free time watching dramas online.

That is pretty much what I do these days, because nothing excites me anymore.

I don't think I want to go back to studying... anything.

But I most certainly do not wish to go back to work, at least for the next week or so. D:

I want a break. D:

I WANT A BREAK FROM EVERYTHING! D:

So I clean when I'm upset or stressed...

Therefore tonight, I will be sleeping on clean sheets that smell like Dettol.

Nothing wrong with being a germaphobe...

Recent events have been... Hard on me this week.
Lots of shit happening at work, I really wish that the whole matter would just blow over already.

Apparently the last time I was upset, I went cooking and cleaning the kitchen and it made me a lot happier for that night.
Which is why I have decided to pack my room today.

I cancelled appointments to dedicate what's left of my off-day just to "indulge in therapy" for the day.

Apparently it is not enough.

My room is clean and I have more space to do whatever, but I still feel upset inside.

Whatever.

I am just glad to be sleeping on clean sheets tonight, and that my room is a lot cleaner than it was before.

Someone once said,

That the person you dislike is like a mirror-image of yourself.
Meaning to say, you have the same traits/qualities as the person you dislike.

NOW,

I dislike that nasty person.
I am a Leo, and she is a Leo as well.

Except, of course, being as awesome as I am, my rising and Moon signs are the other Fire signs.
And apparently the year I was born was suppose to be Metal or Fire.
Whatever it is, I am a strong Fire element person.

Out of point.

This nasty Leo vooman, has been spreading lies about me.
And she went ahead to twist the tale about what has happened to make her look like the victim in this... very unfortunate event that has happened to her.

She sent a nasty email about me to my boss, I am assuming, just to drag me down with her, and she did not bother including me or my supervisor when she sent it.
Not that it is a must, but if you are going to complain about ME, shouldn't I be in the know as well? And since my supervisor was the one who worked with me most, shouldn't SHE be in the know as well, so if need be, she can clarify whatever that Leo woman had sent.

It makes me wonder if I am just like her.
If I were in her shoes, would I have done the same?

Would I have tried getting the people on my side to boycott whoever that was against me?
(Technically, whatever they are doing now is not boycott, but it's somewhere in between there.)
Would I say whatever, or do whatever it takes, including making use of my good friend as a scapegoat, just to clear my name, even if I was in the wrong?
Would I deny, and try and cover up the things I have done by twisting the story to make me look like a victim?

Y'know, when she said she didn't think anything bad was happening between us and our working relationship, it made me think that I was the crazy one.
She made me think I was crazy for thinking that there was tension between us, that I was biased against her for no good reason, that I was the one not doing enough or putting in enough effort in this job to make everything easier for the both of us.

She made me doubt myself, for that... 2 days.

NO MORE, I tell you.

Mistakes happen at work, especially since I was new, and she used all that against me.

Maybe it was a mistake letting her come too close.
Maybe it is time to shut off again...

This feels like primary school and secondary 2 all over again~. /sarcasm

That awkward moment when...

There really isn't an awkward moment.
It's more infuriating than awkward actually.

Work has been fine, in a way, never better than before.
The nasty person is no longer around, and from what one of my uh, co-worker said, "it looks like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders, and you look happier."

Yes, things have been fine and dandy...
But like I said before, it feels like this peace is only temporary.

And indeed it did,
Something unpleasant happened yesterday.

I'm not sure if it was on purpose or not, but it was not... nice at all.

And today, I heard more stuff about what has happened.
I am not sure if I am to explain myself to them over what happened, but I think, there is no need for an explanation.

Shouldn't it be "As long as my conscience is clear, I can and I will move on with my life." instead of caring so much about what others think about me.

They may be on her side, but I bet on my last dollar that they have no idea she is the way she is, nasty and made of all things evil.

I wish things would clear up already.
Let me go back to my life, and let me just... do whatever already. ):

By the way, was that flirting, or were you just being nice...?