I really hate being at home, stuck with my family.
I really really hate it.
I hate it when all my family does is just argue over money matters, over who does the housework, over every nitty gritty stuff that happens at home.
I have a mother who assumes that everyone in the family should give her money, who assumes that everyone in the family is earning a lot but yet is not contributing any to her.
I have a father who takes it out on me whenever he is angry that the one doing the housework is he. He yells, he shouts, he throws my stuff away.
It does not help that I am usually the one who gets it the most. It does not help that I am always being put on the same level as my brother.
It really makes me think whether are they even proud of me. Proud of who I am, proud of me as their daughter. When I told them I was a finalist of the SGBlogAwards, they did not even congratulate me. All they wanted was a share of the prizes if I had won. They were already dividing the prizes among themselves. And nothing else. That is, excluding my brother who surprisingly congratulated me.
You know what, nothing really helps unless I am away from them.
I hate this family so much.
Do not come telling me "They are your family, you must love them."
I really cannot be bothered to give two flying fucks about that. I do not really care whether the world sees this or not.
I respect them as my parents, but if you want me to love them the way I used to, it is pretty much impossible.
You can apologize for the things you have done to someone else, but you can never erase whatever you have left behind. Faint traces of it still remains.
I do not need this. I had a perfectly great day today. Finding out that I won a pair of tickets to Up, on top of G.I. Joe. I had a great lunch in school today, and I made a really nice omelette this afternoon. It all turned out great until my dad came back and started yelling his head off at me, telling me how much I keep bullshitting like my brother.
I no longer fucking believe in karma. Do not even try using it on me.
This world is about fighting for what you want. Does not matter what underhanded methods you use to get it.
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