I had a talk with my colleague today, about my birthday. Just birthday, in general. She asked how I celebrated it this year, and I just told her directly how it went.
... I have been thinking a lot at night. About whether Interior Design is really meant for me, whether am I really going to fail all the time in my life, whether am I going to die a lonely death with nobody by my side.
I want a best friend. I want a best friend to be there for me when I need a lot of assurance in my life. So far, my life have succeeded in showing me how superficial people can get.
People come and go in my life, throwing me away as if I am not needed at all. And every time I turn to someone, the person replies back with "Can't you find someone else?"
My recent project has brought my spirit and I down. It seems like no matter how hard I try, nothing seems to work or go my way. Maybe the B I had for term 3 in Year 1 was just a fluke. Maybe I really did not deserve it. Maybe I do not deserve to have anything good in my life.
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