So I guess,

This is goodbye.

It has been a great 4 years(?) of my life that I had spent updating this little space of mine with many depressing posts about my life.

So far, so good.

I have gained friends and lost some.
And at the same time, this little space has provided many opportunities for me.

There have been many supportive people, but at the same time, there are people who constantly put me down.
Right now, I just want to see how far this will take me, and how far I can go with this.

I am now a resident blogger under MyFatPocket.

As such, I will no longer be blogging here, at least not for the next year or so.

We shall see how it goes, so till then. :)

[TEASER REVIEW] CHEEZZ STUDIO.

COMING SOON...

WATCH OUT FOR MORE!

Have you ever met...

Someone with so much talent that it makes you cry?

If...

If tomorrow is the end of the world, will you be out there searching for me, or will you be looking for other people instead?
If I do not say anything about how I am feeling inside, will you understand what I am thinking inside?

I have come to realise that nobody seems to know me very well.

Being able to surprise me is one thing, but being able to understand what I am going through is an entirely different thing.

I am not saying that I am thaaaaat complicated. -_-

I am just saying that while I may be all IN-YO-FACE when I am out with you doesn't mean that I will let you into my world completely.

Just saying... ._.

P.S : I really need to sound more positive on my blog. D: 
My posts have been rather depressing lately.

P.P.S: I JUST BOUGHT A KINDLE! :DD AND IRON MAN PAJAMA PANTS! :DD ... and apparently, it's flooding in Taiwan right now. D:

Y'know...

I do not like the feeling of making mistakes on purpose, when I know it is something I can do decently well in.

At work recently, I feel like I have to make a mistake or two in order to be able to get on with my life as per normal.

Maybe it is jealousy, maybe I am over thinking things.

Getting good feedback or compliments suddenly seem like a damn bad idea.

:/

Just saying...

Dirrrrrrrty.

I was just looking at the state of my room after I tried throwing some trash on hand into my trash bin.

I think it has been a good month since I last packed my room properly, throwing out unwanted junk and all.

My room makeover keeps getting pushed back because I do not have enough time and money to commit and invest into this project.

At least when I'm done with my room, there is a good chance that I will be getting a window-unit air con in mu room.

In case nobody knows, my air con is a ridiculous piece of trash.

It either leaks water or it blows out hot air...
Feel my pain, people.
It has been this way for the past 7 years of my life and Singapore is not exactly a great place NOT to have air conditioning.

I shall end this post by saying how much I want to poop.

END! :D

I am not God,

I am unable to work the miracles you expect of me.

This job of mine is very interesting, despite me complaining about how horrible it is.

I deal with students, and customers-who-are-potential-students.
Most of which are women of leisure, in other words, they are mostly high-flying rich tai-tais with too much time on hand, and too much cash to spend.
Or they make a lot of money since they "are doctors, lawyers" and such, and will constantly be travelling around the world, so I should be honoured that they called me or asked to join the courses.

For some reason, they expect a lot from me.
When I say a lot, I really do mean a lot.

Just because they are rich and are interested in taking up the courses with us, they expect us to give in to their every demand.

I just got a call from a woman, (Please, she does not behave like a lady to be labelled as one) who just yelled at me over the phone because I have released her reserved slot for the July class she had booked back in April.

Backstory: Ever since early May, we have decided to abolish the system where they can make payment via internet banking or mailed cheque for classes. If they want to join the class, they will have to make payment immediately, either at our store or via Paypal. And because she had asked to join before the new system was implemented...

The deadline given to her was 10th June, and I have confirmed with her verbally, and had sent out the email with the deadline 10th June clearly stated.
She insisted the deadline given to her was 15th June, and she is unhappy that her slot was released, and someone else had made payment and is now confirmed for the class.

She made a huge fuss, saying that because she is a regular customer, and joined many of our classes, we should give in to her, or at least, open the class up to fit her in.

I am unsure if she is trying to make me feel bad, or trying to get my boss to do something about it, like make concessions for her, because as she hang up the phone on me, she said "Forget it, I shall take the course elsewhere."

Sorry, I am unable to take hints and because you are a difficult customer/student, I would reaaaally want you to come back to us. /sarcasm-but-not-really.

Dear woman,

Good luck finding an experienced and patient instructor like the one you wanted at our course centre.
Bet it will piss you off to know that I took that course you wanted under the instructor you had requested for.

:)

It's MY break.

It's a public holiday, here on snot-sized island, Singapore.

And as with all my public holidays, I do what I cannot do on a regular day.

Today seems to be pretty productive, as always. And here is a list of things I have done. :D

1. Packed my room, obviously.
2. Washed my bedsheets, aired my pillows, bolster and toys after beating the crap out of it because I saw this article :  http://www.ksdk.com/rss/article/318621/3/Dirty-sheets-may-be-hazardous-to-your-health
3. Detoxed my body a bit.
4. And I'm in the works of doing up a new blogskin because I am sick of this current one already.
5. Oh, on top of that, I put on new laces for my new Vans shoes. And it looks really pretty. 

Pretty, isn't it.

:D 

Today is a good day, now I wish to have my weekends off permanently. ):

Distance.

How far would you go to protect someone you care about?

Would you turn away from the other people who care about you?
Would you do anything to protect them, including hurting those you misled to thinking that you actually do care?

When someone opens up to you, pour out whatever is inside of them, do you make use of that person's vulnerability to have them accomplish the task that you know you will not do because it taints the image you portray to others?

Or do you simply pretend to give a fuck about something, then go on talking behind that person's back?

Thing is, does it really have to be this complicated?
Why can't interaction with others be as easy as 123?

Down to earth.

I have been floating in and out of work these days~.

Floating in and out, because I feel that I am wasting time at work.
I take my time to answer emails, phone queries and update all the files that I need.

I come in to the office at 8.30am. ): Sad life, I have.
Then answer my emails with my face looking like ~.~, then proceed on to lunch at a time like this.

I'll watch Big Bang Theory or Friends on my iPod, then go back to work, answering more emails with a face like ;A; till I end work which is about... 5.30pm. ):

I am actually really tired of working a meaningless, self-deprecating job where nobody gives me the basic respect as a human.

Much as I would like to say that I am enjoying whatever I am doing now, I actually really don't.

Maybe I am exaggerating a bit, about the "nobody giving me the basic respect as a human" thing.

But let me just put it this way: at my table at work, nobody seems to think of me as a person working in my position.

This student thought I was the 2nd-level cashier, ready to tend to their every whim and fancy at the store like a circus monkey. -_-

Nah, I'm just being bitter here.
Mainly because I lack sleep these days.

I need more time to sleep, and I don't want to work anymore.
BLAAAAAAAAAAH! ):

Cryptic.

I guess I did something that was... not that nice?

I am in no position to do whatever I did, but I did it anyway.
And honestly, it made me feel better.

Because I like pushing that responsibility away from me, and to someone else I feel is more suited to take that crap. ._.

And suddenly, the world seems a lot brighter already.
n________________________________n

On the rebound now, and it's not a good thing. ):

Bitch, please.
I only date superstars.

On a random note,

1. I need a new pair of shoes. D: My Chilli Orange Vans shoes are falling apart. ): It has been 2 great years wearing you on a daily basis, dear Vans shoes of mine. So now, I'm going to get a new pair of Vans shoes because they go with EVERYTHING. :D
2. I am almost done with my cake decorating course. I'm taking a cake decorating course, did I mention? And it's with a group of uh, rich tai-tais? And they have inside information on certain news, which makes me go DDDDDDDDDDDDD: whenever they talk about stuff like that during class.
3. Still hating on my work.
4. Supposedly nice guy is not that nice after all. Hahaha. ._.
5. Did you know that facial peels are like, DA BOMB?! :DD My skin is healing up well because of them.
6. I desperately need to save up more money~ D:
7. I have been meeting up with my Poly friends for the past few days. :/ Weird, but true.
8. I do not want to see a bunch of people, still. And I don't think they know that I don't want to see their faces.
9. I'm craving for sushi, but at the same time, I'm kinda paranoid about eating sashimi. Must be the smell or something.
10. Like I said, on the rebound. :) Go figure, people.

Drama mama.

Lots of drama going on with the people I'm going to Taiwan with these days.
And I am damn sick of it.

There are 2 main parties, let's call them A and B.
(I know, I'm very creative.)

Here's the summary of the story, not complete, but it's the summary.

I'm flying to Taiwan with a group of friend's friends, there were 5 of us at first.
And right after the hotel and tickets were booked, one of the friends went to invite his friend along for the trip.

And this friend is stupidly loyal, if I may say, to a certain someone who is not nice at all. And she tends to report back whatever to that certain someone.

B and that certain someone are uh, not on friendly terms, in other words, that certain someone is B's nemisis.
And since that friend is stupidly loyal, I can safely say that this trip is not going to be a relaxing one because we all have to live our lives in constant fear, aka, going on this trip knowing that everything that happened during this trip is going to go back to that certain someone's ears.

Certain someone almost came along with us to Taiwan because friend went to invite her along, till I said "HELL NO" to her coming.
Which A then said, "it's not because you said no~~~~~~~".

As you can see, I am dealing with idiots here.

So let's just stick to my story, which is certain someone is not coming because I said no.

This is where the problem started.

Friend is coming along with her boyfriend, and her mother does not trust them enough to share a room together. Which was why friend asked certain someone along, so her boyfriend can go bunk with the guys, and friend and certain someone can bunk together.

I said no (as clearly stated above), so certain someone's not coming. So now, it's either B and I bunk in one room, A and friend bunk in another, and the guys share the triple room.

Or A, B, friend and I share a family room together, which will be a lot cheaper for all of us.

But B is not happy about it and she made it very clear that she's not happy about it.
B does not like friend, but not as much as she dislikes certain someone. And B will be civil with her in Taiwan, but the rest should not expect B to pretend to be a friend to her, which honestly it's fine.

Why put two people in a situation where it makes everyone in the group so uncomfortable?

BUT!

A cannot see that B just wants to spend time with her, with us, all when we fly off to Taiwan.
Mainly because A has that I-can-save-the-world mentality and takes it upon herself to make friend feel comfortable in the group.

It does not make sense to me, because A is just putting extra responsibility on herself when nobody expects her to. And she just... bit off more than she can chew. Friend has that friend, who asked her along, and her boyfriend, who is tagging along anyway.

A told B that she is being selfish and is, in her words, a bully, just like certain someone.

A is on the side of
"Why must we split up and play seperately~! why can't we all play together in Taiwan~!?"
When we ALL know that she's just going to put her efforts in the other friend and friend herself.

Everyone is selfish, ok?
It's really up to them to realise this themselves.

B cannot see why A wants to hang out with friend and put in more effort into the other friend and friend.

B is, to put it nicely, loyal to the point of clingy. She wants to hang out with A mainly, and then the rest of the group.
She's hating on friend right now because, I think, she thinks that friend is fighting with her for A's attention.

B was happily living under the impression that friend and her boyfriend is tagging along with the group for 2 days or so, and the rest of the days, friend and her boyfriend will go off playing on their own.

Clearly, that is not the case.

They will be tagging along,

FOR.ALL.6.DAYS.IN.TAIWAN.WITH.US.

And I thought B understood that a long time ago.

So now, A and B are technically, either on a break (like a real couple), or they are no longer friends anymore.

Personally, I am damn sick of the drama.

I am getting caught in the middle, even though I have no intentions of getting caught in the first place.

Has it ever occured to A, that she herself is being selfish as well?

Has it ever occured to B, that A has other friends too?

One day, we are all going to look back, and as they laugh at this really long and hard, I will be smacking them till they die from the pain.

My head is splitting from all the drama, because I know both sides of the story.

And honestly, it pisses me off.

I probably am genuinely self-centered that way, but I think nobody has considered how I feel.

I hate having to make concessions for people I don't like, don't care for, or in general, not close to at all.

But clearly, my wants and needs are never a priority.

I give in, because giving in is what I do. /sarcasm

And if I don't give in, I am going to be labelled as selfish, and idiots will come saying stuff like "Let's just cancel the trip" when we have paid for both the hotel and air tickets already.

There is free cancellation for the hotel, but air tickets are not refundable.

So here is what I am going to do:

One day, when I finally snap, I am going to let both of the other friends know about it.

And I am going to plan out my own itinerary.

My exact words to them, if they go "But I don't want to split~!!", will be

YOU CAN KISS MY ASS.

The more you learn, the less you know.

I wish a part of Singapore would flood again soon. ):
Not that I want to waddle in ankle-deep rainwater, but it's just too warm in Singapore these days.

I have recently gotten into trouble at work, like A LOT of trouble.
And my boss went from Dr Jekyll to Mr Hyde in the span of uh, a week or so.
(A week should not be shocking, but my boss seems to be the kind who can be mad at a person for quite some time.)

She went from telling me off, to thanking me very uh, politely.

;_;

I don't think I can keep up with this any longer though.

People at work seem to be... a lot more scheming than you think they would be.
And everything is not what it seems.

A few at work are now put in a position where they have no idea who they should trust, or who they can trust now.
I am one of them, but I am glad that I still have someone to rely on at work, kinda.
Before that someone or I leave this place first.

I can't say that it feels weird, to be put into a position where you realise that there is nobody you can trust, and you have to constantly watch your back, because this is something that I felt was to be expected in working life.

Especially since this is an all-female working environment, and the boss is never in town.

Guess you'll learn as you go along, how to see people for who they truly are.

On a MUCH lighter note:

1. I have recently purchased 4 bottles of BB Cream, and I am very happy with my purchase. :D


2. Nothing set in stone yet, but my future is in the works already. Now to give it about 2 - 3 years or so. ): Or lesser, depending on how things will progress from here.I want a friggin iPad. Bleaaaaaaaaargh!


3. And I bought a label maker. My parents don't believe in label makers. They believe in my brother, writing my name on my school books for me... that is, until my handwriting became nicer than his. ._.


4. Oh, and I'm gonna watch Wicked today. :D

There really is nothing exciting to update about right now, apart from all the drama that has been going on for the Taiwan trip, and at work.

This holiday of mine, is uh, a time-bomb.
Everyone, or rather, I am waiting for this to blow up and out of proportion. ._.

We shall see, eh. ;)

Too much of it.

I clearly need to find a better job.

Or at least, a job with better people around me.

My boss is one of the nicest females I have seen, ever.

I haven't been on task with my work these days, and instead of lashing out on me, she... talked sense to me instead.

And she was the reason why the person, who was making my work life difficult, was made to leave, kinda.

Obviously, I cannot let her know what is the reason why I have been acting like this. -_-

Because if I explain everything from start till end, it will just make it seem like I am a problematic person to work with, and all I am capable of is causing trouble for her and her company.

I have heard things, coming out of peoples' mouths at work, that are not very nice at all.

Typical.

They went judging me from my character, to my attitude towards them.

All that, I heard coming out of the people you least suspect, right outside the room the were in.

Listening into other peoples' private conversation is not right.

But I heard them while I was looking for something pretty far away from the room, the door was closed, and their voices were loud.

The joy.

Surprisingly, I didn't feel hurt at all.

Maybe I expected it already.

And they were pretending to be civil towards me, right in front of my face.

The fucking joy.

It all started because somebody did not what they wanted.

Now, I am being attacked for getting whatever they wanted.

Thing is, I am not happy at work.

Or just not happy in general, and I have no idea how to make myself happy again.

Talking to people doesn't seem to help.

Because it just makes me more self-conscious than I already am.

It makes me think that I am being more self-centred than I already am, constantly babbling on and on about how sad my life is.

A few contradictions.

I hate my job.

I hate dealing with people, I especially hate dealing with those that I have to work with.

I hate dealing with women, I especially hate dealing with middle-aged women who have nothing better to do than to just gossip, and complain about everything I am doing.

Things like that makes it really hard for me to want to be fair and neutral towards them, makes things even harder when I am the one doing the assigning.

They think I'm biased against them, maybe because of what had happened here.

I need to leave soon, because things like that upsets me, and I do not want to have to explain everything I do to them.

If my conscience is clear, why should I have to explain to them?

But then again, why do I care so much about what they think of me?

I like him.

Like, I really really like him.

It disgusts me when I think about how much I like this guy.

He's not that great, he's very average actually.

Just that to me, he's an over-achiever.

And he intimidates me a bit, because he's an over-achiever.

Circular logic, WOW. -_-

I get butterflies in my tummy, just thinking about him.

And the thought of him makes me smile like a fool, even in the darkest of times (at work).

Yet, I hate myself for that.

It makes me vulnerable, and yet, I continue to do so.

I clearly need to get a life.

My life right now revolves around these few things:

1. Reading the Hunger Games trilogy. Yes, I am that slow. -_-
2. Thinking about him, smiling a bit, then proceed on to hate myself for it.
3. Falling asleep on the bus and train, hoping that nobody will see my eyes when I cover them with my thick bangs.
4. Reconsider my decision to fly to Taiwan for a well-deserved break this July.

Oh, I didn't announce this:

I am going to Taiwan with my friend and her friends this coming July.

Planning and getting them to do little things have been nothing but painful.

In fact, it's so painful that for the first time, I witnessed a fight in that clique on Skype.

WOW, right? I know.

Now that everything is done: we have booked the tickets and hotel, I just suddenly have the marvelous thought of backing out.

Because the bulk of them are my friend's friends.

I don't know them well enough to want to go somewhere with them.

And it just makes things very awkward for me because I feel that the bulk of them are just talking to me because they feel obliged to.

I mean, who doesn't?

When you see someone sitting in, what seems to be a corner, keeping to themselves...

Bah, this annoys me.

I have half the mind to shoot them with something mean, but my friend said that it would make them sad, and their faces will be like this ): .

Then I'll feel all bad...

Nah, actually I won't.

These things I cannot say.

I realised that after I started working, there are many things that have happened and I have not been voicing out or telling anyone about it.

Maybe i am unable to find someone to pour it all out to, maybe I just don't like the idea of going to a specific group of people to pour all my sorrows out to

For all I know, it could just be my way of wanting attention from people and I am not getting it.

Maybe someday, I will tell someone about it.

Someday, maybe.
But not now.

Future.

You know how it is, when you are still a child, you tend to imagine your future, how things would be when you're all grown up?


You dream of having a decent job that pays... moderately well.
You buy a house and a car.
Find someone you love and you start a family with him/her.

You watch your kids grow up, watch them follow in your footsteps.
Watch them getting a decent job, a house and a car.
Watch them settle down and start a family.

And finally, when it is time for you to go, you leave this world, smiling because you have lived your life, fulfiled and satisfied with all that you have achieved.


I guess when you were a child, nobody was there to tell you all the hard work you have to put in for that "decent job that pays moderately well".

I do realise that my recent posts have been nothing else but just work, and work-related issues.
Because this is how it is.
When you are no longer in school, when you no longer have a social life to speak of, you just blog about the things that happen around you all day, everyday.

I drag myself to work everyday, because I have nothing else to live for.
This is not the life I had imagined myself to be... living.
This is not the plan I had in mind.

I am not sure if it has to do with my job scope, or whether it is just me.
But I feel that people tend to come down on me, hard, whenever things go bad.
Not that I feel targetted at work, but I feel that whenever things go bad, I am the first in line to get attacked.
By both customers, and co-workers.

And usually, the first to get it are usually the ones who get it most.
Because this is how it is with people; once they have taken it out on someone, they will no longer be that angry, and they will be a lot nicer to the next person the encounter.

A part of me really wonders, if I had build up something when I was still in school, something that allows me to survive, and at the same time, gives me enough time to do the things I want to, would I be a much happier person?

Of course, that would mean that I will have literally nothing to blog about, and you (whoever you are) will not be reading this now. -_-

And it would mean that I will not be getting married because my social circle will remain THAT small.
*My social circle is FULL of girls. And like, 3 guys? Of which, are not eligible because they are either taken, or are not nice enough to be labelled as boyfriend-material. ._.

And that future I once had will never happen. ;A;

... Not that I am anywhere near it now. -_-

Off topic, but you get what I mean.

I get cupcakes at my workplace.

Yes, I go by Jolene at work.
-_-
Because it's my official name, and Roo is not. -_-

): I'm out of happy points.

And I'm tired of life already.

My job is not stressful at all.

But for some reason, I find myself having to drag my body off the bed to get ready for work everyday.

And I dread going to work all the time.

I have no idea what my passion is.

I have no idea what I want to do.

All I know is that I am sick of what I am doing, and I want to quit already.

I think I need a break.

I need a break from work, from people, from all the fuckers who hog onto a slot for classes and refuse to make payment for it.

This is why the happiness level is Singapore is so low.

I spend most of my free time watching dramas online.

That is pretty much what I do these days, because nothing excites me anymore.

I don't think I want to go back to studying... anything.

But I most certainly do not wish to go back to work, at least for the next week or so. D:

I want a break. D:

I WANT A BREAK FROM EVERYTHING! D:

So I clean when I'm upset or stressed...

Therefore tonight, I will be sleeping on clean sheets that smell like Dettol.

Nothing wrong with being a germaphobe...

Recent events have been... Hard on me this week.
Lots of shit happening at work, I really wish that the whole matter would just blow over already.

Apparently the last time I was upset, I went cooking and cleaning the kitchen and it made me a lot happier for that night.
Which is why I have decided to pack my room today.

I cancelled appointments to dedicate what's left of my off-day just to "indulge in therapy" for the day.

Apparently it is not enough.

My room is clean and I have more space to do whatever, but I still feel upset inside.

Whatever.

I am just glad to be sleeping on clean sheets tonight, and that my room is a lot cleaner than it was before.

Someone once said,

That the person you dislike is like a mirror-image of yourself.
Meaning to say, you have the same traits/qualities as the person you dislike.

NOW,

I dislike that nasty person.
I am a Leo, and she is a Leo as well.

Except, of course, being as awesome as I am, my rising and Moon signs are the other Fire signs.
And apparently the year I was born was suppose to be Metal or Fire.
Whatever it is, I am a strong Fire element person.

Out of point.

This nasty Leo vooman, has been spreading lies about me.
And she went ahead to twist the tale about what has happened to make her look like the victim in this... very unfortunate event that has happened to her.

She sent a nasty email about me to my boss, I am assuming, just to drag me down with her, and she did not bother including me or my supervisor when she sent it.
Not that it is a must, but if you are going to complain about ME, shouldn't I be in the know as well? And since my supervisor was the one who worked with me most, shouldn't SHE be in the know as well, so if need be, she can clarify whatever that Leo woman had sent.

It makes me wonder if I am just like her.
If I were in her shoes, would I have done the same?

Would I have tried getting the people on my side to boycott whoever that was against me?
(Technically, whatever they are doing now is not boycott, but it's somewhere in between there.)
Would I say whatever, or do whatever it takes, including making use of my good friend as a scapegoat, just to clear my name, even if I was in the wrong?
Would I deny, and try and cover up the things I have done by twisting the story to make me look like a victim?

Y'know, when she said she didn't think anything bad was happening between us and our working relationship, it made me think that I was the crazy one.
She made me think I was crazy for thinking that there was tension between us, that I was biased against her for no good reason, that I was the one not doing enough or putting in enough effort in this job to make everything easier for the both of us.

She made me doubt myself, for that... 2 days.

NO MORE, I tell you.

Mistakes happen at work, especially since I was new, and she used all that against me.

Maybe it was a mistake letting her come too close.
Maybe it is time to shut off again...

This feels like primary school and secondary 2 all over again~. /sarcasm

That awkward moment when...

There really isn't an awkward moment.
It's more infuriating than awkward actually.

Work has been fine, in a way, never better than before.
The nasty person is no longer around, and from what one of my uh, co-worker said, "it looks like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders, and you look happier."

Yes, things have been fine and dandy...
But like I said before, it feels like this peace is only temporary.

And indeed it did,
Something unpleasant happened yesterday.

I'm not sure if it was on purpose or not, but it was not... nice at all.

And today, I heard more stuff about what has happened.
I am not sure if I am to explain myself to them over what happened, but I think, there is no need for an explanation.

Shouldn't it be "As long as my conscience is clear, I can and I will move on with my life." instead of caring so much about what others think about me.

They may be on her side, but I bet on my last dollar that they have no idea she is the way she is, nasty and made of all things evil.

I wish things would clear up already.
Let me go back to my life, and let me just... do whatever already. ):

By the way, was that flirting, or were you just being nice...?

Too much of something...

I recently made a move.

A decision that might cause me to wonder for the next 3 months, whether what I did was right or wrong, and whether it was a wise decision to make that move.

I am in a happier place right now, but somehow I feel that this peace is only temporary. A bigger battle is out there waiting for me, just that I am unaware of.

I am glad justice is served, but at tve same time, I cannot help but wonder and feel concerned about the casualties of this... war I speak of.

Underhanded methods were used, not by me, just to get back on me because that person felt wrongly accused.

Let's just say it backfired and it caused her to be in more shit than she was in before she decided to blab out everything.

This move I made is bound to have its consequences.

Was it the wisest thing to do, that I have no idea. But I have people telling me that everything is alright, and that I am not at fault for this... Awkward situation to happen.

I can't help but feel like a selfish brat, doing everything as I please because everything is not going my way, or going well at all.

While I feel safe there, I can't help but worry...

After her, will there be another...?

You used to get into your fishnets...

I'm not sure if it's because I have started working...

Because I seem to have lost count of days and dates.

Everyday is the same routine, waking up at 6-ish, heading off to work at 7-ish.

Reaching my workplace at 8.30am, and answering phone calls and emails till 5.30pm.

I will either reach home at 6.30-ish, or I would meet up certain people for dinner.

Reach home at 10-ish, shower and go off to bed.

I kinda miss waking up to nothingness.

I kinda miss deciding what time I should go to bed.

And I really miss waking up naturally in the middle of the day.

This Lunar New Year has been... quite weird.

For the first time ever, I am actually thankful for this holiday.

It has been a while since I woke up at 1pm in the afternoon.

): I miss being a kid.

New hair!!

New hair, same face with crappy skin.

I see this year is going to be a great one. /sarcasm

Cupcake!

Because I'm working somewhere related to cakes and baking.

:D
Got this fudge cupcake with mint icing thingy a while back, although the photo doesnt do it any justice.

It's sparkly in real life. :D

Female of little tears.

I'm a leo, not surprisingly.

And I find it hard to cry in public, or share the many things I do not wish for anyone to know about.

Maybe it's my pride, or the way i was being raised. I learn that crying to get what you want is deemed as weak, and a one-trick pony who uses her ability to cry on cue as a form of blackmail to get things done her way.

I feel slightly inspired to blog about this only because many things have happened recently at work, unpleasant things that I do not wish to go into detail.

Many things have changed since I've started work. Relationships between co-workers, the general impression my co-workers have of me, etc.
And did I mention that I am still on probation?!

I wonder if I should carry on with this job, because it no longer seems fun, and in general, I feel that things have changed so much that it suffocates me just thinking about me.

I consider myself as a rather straightforward person, and would rather have the person come up and tell me in my face what the hell am I doing wrong or have done wrong.

If anyone is expecting me to cry, don't expect to see tears coming from me. I am not that weak girl that everyone thinks I am or should be.

Sometimes, it is better to not invest your feelings and time into people or things that you know will end up turning against you in future.