Time flies too fast...

She...

Was my best friend back in Primary School and Secondary School till I was in Secondary 4.

We kinda lost contact since then, because I avoided her with my dying will...

Today I am feeling a bit nostalgic, because I went out to meet another Primary School classmate of mine, Chuting.

Chuting left for UK at age 14, she's a year older than me, and she did not come back to Singapore for the past 7 years.

She's from China by the way, and no, she's not like that annoying China bitch who snatched your seat in the MRT/cut your queue/spit on you/step on you without apologizing.

She is more... civilized than that, considering that she left China at a very young age.

No, I am not saying ALL people from China are like that, but apparently most of the China people my friends and I encounter happened to be whatever I had describe above.

I was feeling that random sense of nostalgia, so I decided to write this post, and also because I know it's been a gabajillion years since I update this space.

I miss my best friend, the girl pictured up there.

(No, she's not Chuting, if you read this post carefully.)

I miss the time she would call me up in the randomest of times at night when everyone at home would be sleeping already.

And we would talk till about 1am, which was considered to be extremely late at age 12.

I miss the time we would always hang out together during recess and after school because, truth be told, I got along better with her friends and her more than I do with my own classmates.

I miss the time we would sneak over to the market opposite our school (because we were banned from leaving the school during the lunch break before our enrichment classes.) and buy ice cream and fizzy drinks.

I miss the time I would go over to her house, and we would set up a tent in her room and do stupid stuff like... playing Reversi in there.

I remembered a time I hurt her feelings indirectly once, and in turn she hurt me back many years later.

I started becoming close to this thick-skulled friend of mine (INSIDE JOKE.), Kt, because of our love for random Japanese stuff like anime/manga and Japanese pop music.

And slowly I became a lot more close to Kt than I was to her. :/

I know she was hurt because I... did something I was not suppose to.

HAHAHA, but she did that same thing back to me.

(No, that was not the thing she did to hurt me.)

As we graduated from Primary School, we got separated because her parents felt that the secondary school I was applying for did not have great facilities.

(But seriously, that school was under major renovation/construction that's why. And the holding school SUCKED BALLS.)

(And I know whatever I typed above looked very much like a lesbian love story, but hell no, we are both straight.)

So we got separated, but we still keep contact with each other, meeting up to go out on random weekends to the only place we know, which was Takashimaya. -_-

She lost a lot of weight since Primary School, and she obviously is pretty. So naturally many guys flocked to her, and slowly our phone calls became all about deciphering what the actions of those dumb boys meant.

I got sick of it because it went from trying to decipher to trying to defend what it meant. So I started avoiding her calls.

... I don't remember when she stopped calling. But I only remembered keeping contact with her through Friendster. -_-

Now, when we meet up, things are just awkward.

Gone are the days where we would do stupid random stuff together.

And I kinda miss that...

Now she has her own friends, and I am still stuck with the friends I made since Primary and Secondary School.

My social circle decreased as the others increased... I feel like I have reached a stagnant point in my social life where there are no more people I can meet and make friends with...

Time flies too fast, and after meeting Chuting today, I just felt a lot older than I really am.

I miss being young and the ability and luxury of doing things without thinking.

I suppose I am the only person I know who can't decide on what she wants to do in future.

I want to take Liberal Arts, I want to do Graphic Design.

I want to take up Music, I want to do Animation.

I want to do Visual Communications, I want to take up Dance.

I want to be a Korean popstar, I want to be Tom Kaulitz' wife.

(Please just ignore the last statement. It's meant to make the above sound more... rhyme-y.)

People I know are expecting me to do Interior Design after I graduate.

Like find an Interior Design firm, or pray hard that the firm I interned at would want me.

Then work hard as a designer for the next 30-40 years of my life till I retire/die.

I do not want that.

I resent that idea because there are so many things I can do and want to do with my life.

I think I am still living in my own little world, where I have yet to grow up.

I still believe that dreams do come true if you work hard for it, and I still believe that there are more things in life to do than to study, get a job, then screw your life up and just die like that.

I guess I really am scared to go out and work...

I can only imagine the horror... Facing a boss who will scream his/her head off at you for doing crappy work.

Or face the fear of retrenchment, or pay cut, or not earning enough money for you to retire when you're old. D:

I don't want to end my youth like that...

I WANT TO GO BACK TO BEING YOUNG AGAIN! D: