Wake me up when September ends...

I know I haven't been updating as much as I have been planning to. :/

Last week had been a... pretty emotional, yet insanely annoying one.

You see, my grandmother had just passed away...

I, for one, am not very close to her. Our conversation every once a year goes a little something like this all the time.

R : Grandma.

G : Mm.

R : ...

G : *starts to ramble about being nice and filial to my mother in future*

*Mother nodding with approval.*

I am going to sound like an unfilial grand daughter in this post, but so what?!

Nobody is going to comment on it anyway. :/

Last week, while I was at her wake, I have made a few decisions on my life and death.

I will want a Western or Christian funeral. Where people go to the church, hear good stuff about me, sit down and talk about the good and awesome stuff about me while enjoying the buffet provided. Or they sing songs and walk around my coffin and the pastor prays.

I am not a Buddhist, Taoist, or any of the religions that requires the burning of joss sticks and kneeling and chanting.

(Sermons are like speeches, where the words are clear to me instead of chanting prayers. :/)

So being an offensive bitch, I really do not get it why must I kneel and listen/chant along with the monks. I really don't.

That week was only an emotional one because of all the drama around. You see people sobbing, people fainting, people crying till they fall down.

I only felt emotional when I saw my grand mother's coffin going into the furnace.

(Furnace right? where her body + the coffin got cremated)

Despite being the only unattached grand daughter of hers, I do have some fond memories of her. I remember her sitting outside whenever we go visit her after church.

I remember her giving me the ginko nut dessert thingy which I ended up giving to my mother because I HATE ginko nuts and the dates and the white fungus in it.

I remember her looking less weak and frail. And I remember the time she was able to talk and ramble on and on about taking care of my mother in future in Teochew which I obviously do not understand.

I guess I can only remember the good stuff when the person is really really far away from me. When their flesh and body can't be seen anymore, and when it gets shrunk from a coffin to an urn.

I don't feel particularly attached to anyone at all, actually.

I think I kinda scared a few people with my indifference. :/ The way I did the whole ritual without tearing, crying, sobbing or looking sad or something. :/

And it doesn't help that after the funeral, all the shows I watched happen to be really really sad. Like people leaving the guild (Fairy Tail), old people becoming senile (Can't Buy Me Love) and a lot of other ridiculous shows. Roar.

I shall just update again tomorrow.

It's Tuesday, and I am embarking on a new project soon. :D

Oh, and I did ok for my internship. :D I passed, and I am happy about it.