ROO! ♔

So I clean when I'm upset or stressed...

2012-02-12T23:22:00.001+08:00

Therefore tonight, I will be sleeping on clean sheets that smell like Dettol.

Nothing wrong with being a germaphobe...

Recent events have been... Hard on me this week.
Lots of shit happening at work, I really wish that the whole matter would just blow over already.

Apparently the last time I was upset, I went cooking and cleaning the kitchen and it made me a lot happier for that night.
Which is why I have decided to pack my room today.

I cancelled appointments to dedicate what's left of my off-day just to "indulge in therapy" for the day.

Apparently it is not enough.

My room is clean and I have more space to do whatever, but I still feel upset inside.

Whatever.

I am just glad to be sleeping on clean sheets tonight, and that my room is a lot cleaner than it was before.

Someone once said,

2012-02-11T18:15:00.000+08:00

That the person you dislike is like a mirror-image of yourself.
Meaning to say, you have the same traits/qualities as the person you dislike.

NOW,

I dislike that nasty person.
I am a Leo, and she is a Leo as well.

Except, of course, being as awesome as I am, my rising and Moon signs are the other Fire signs.
And apparently the year I was born was suppose to be Metal or Fire.
Whatever it is, I am a strong Fire element person.

Out of point.

This nasty Leo vooman, has been spreading lies about me.
And she went ahead to twist the tale about what has happened to make her look like the victim in this... very unfortunate event that has happened to her.

She sent a nasty email about me to my boss, I am assuming, just to drag me down with her, and she did not bother including me or my supervisor when she sent it.
Not that it is a must, but if you are going to complain about ME, shouldn't I be in the know as well? And since my supervisor was the one who worked with me most, shouldn't SHE be in the know as well, so if need be, she can clarify whatever that Leo woman had sent.

It makes me wonder if I am just like her.
If I were in her shoes, would I have done the same?

Would I have tried getting the people on my side to boycott whoever that was against me?
(Technically, whatever they are doing now is not boycott, but it's somewhere in between there.)
Would I say whatever, or do whatever it takes, including making use of my good friend as a scapegoat, just to clear my name, even if I was in the wrong?
Would I deny, and try and cover up the things I have done by twisting the story to make me look like a victim?

Y'know, when she said she didn't think anything bad was happening between us and our working relationship, it made me think that I was the crazy one.
She made me think I was crazy for thinking that there was tension between us, that I was biased against her for no good reason, that I was the one not doing enough or putting in enough effort in this job to make everything easier for the both of us.

She made me doubt myself, for that... 2 days.

NO MORE, I tell you.

Mistakes happen at work, especially since I was new, and she used all that against me.

Maybe it was a mistake letting her come too close.
Maybe it is time to shut off again...

This feels like primary school and secondary 2 all over again~. /sarcasm

Penny for my thoughts? #2

2012-02-09T20:38:00.001+08:00

I wonder...

Do they hate me because I did something that they would never ever do?
Or do they hate me because they are stupid enough to listen to what SHE has to say?

Penny for my thoughts? #1

2012-02-09T18:54:00.001+08:00

I am only in love with the idea of liking someone.

Don't overthink things, it's not as complicated as it seems.

That awkward moment when...

2012-02-09T14:57:00.000+08:00

There really isn't an awkward moment.
It's more infuriating than awkward actually.

Work has been fine, in a way, never better than before.
The nasty person is no longer around, and from what one of my uh, co-worker said, "it looks like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders, and you look happier."

Yes, things have been fine and dandy...
But like I said before, it feels like this peace is only temporary.

And indeed it did,
Something unpleasant happened yesterday.

I'm not sure if it was on purpose or not, but it was not... nice at all.

And today, I heard more stuff about what has happened.
I am not sure if I am to explain myself to them over what happened, but I think, there is no need for an explanation.

Shouldn't it be "As long as my conscience is clear, I can and I will move on with my life." instead of caring so much about what others think about me.

They may be on her side, but I bet on my last dollar that they have no idea she is the way she is, nasty and made of all things evil.

I wish things would clear up already.
Let me go back to my life, and let me just... do whatever already. ):

By the way, was that flirting, or were you just being nice...?

Too much of something...

2012-01-30T20:54:00.001+08:00

I recently made a move.

A decision that might cause me to wonder for the next 3 months, whether what I did was right or wrong, and whether it was a wise decision to make that move.

I am in a happier place right now, but somehow I feel that this peace is only temporary. A bigger battle is out there waiting for me, just that I am unaware of.

I am glad justice is served, but at tve same time, I cannot help but wonder and feel concerned about the casualties of this... war I speak of.

Underhanded methods were used, not by me, just to get back on me because that person felt wrongly accused.

Let's just say it backfired and it caused her to be in more shit than she was in before she decided to blab out everything.

This move I made is bound to have its consequences.

Was it the wisest thing to do, that I have no idea. But I have people telling me that everything is alright, and that I am not at fault for this... Awkward situation to happen.

I can't help but feel like a selfish brat, doing everything as I please because everything is not going my way, or going well at all.

While I feel safe there, I can't help but worry...

After her, will there be another...?

For all the things that has happened,

2012-01-25T22:15:00.001+08:00

You think I will want to stay on still?

Second time it happened, and I'm sick of it already.
Third time, and I swear I will leave this place.

Hell is filled with people like you... Just so you know.

You used to get into your fishnets...

2012-01-24T16:15:00.003+08:00

I'm not sure if it's because I have started working...

Because I seem to have lost count of days and dates.

Everyday is the same routine, waking up at 6-ish, heading off to work at 7-ish.

Reaching my workplace at 8.30am, and answering phone calls and emails till 5.30pm.

I will either reach home at 6.30-ish, or I would meet up certain people for dinner.

Reach home at 10-ish, shower and go off to bed.

I kinda miss waking up to nothingness.

I kinda miss deciding what time I should go to bed.

And I really miss waking up naturally in the middle of the day.

This Lunar New Year has been... quite weird.

For the first time ever, I am actually thankful for this holiday.

It has been a while since I woke up at 1pm in the afternoon.

): I miss being a kid.

New hair!!

2012-01-13T23:17:00.001+08:00

New hair, same face with crappy skin.

I see this year is going to be a great one. /sarcasm

Even with no makeup,

2012-01-11T16:15:00.001+08:00

WARNING: RIDICULOUS POST AHEAD.

I will probably never be with you.

Because i can never count on you to take care or protect me when I need you to be there for me.

Not that you only care about yourself,

but because you only choose to help whoever and whenever you want to.

I wish you would care more.

But honestly, even if you know that I like you, so what?

I am not going to do anything, and just because I like you does not mean that I want to be with you for the rest of my life, or at least, want to be with you for a few months.

It was nice knowing you.

It was nice knowing that I am still able to have feelings like that for someone.

It was nice to know that a guy like you exist.

But I think this is where it all ends.

It was fun while it lasted, but for 2012, I am going to try and kick you out of my mind.

I need to know that I can fall in and out of love as quickly as... ... I can remove my makeup, which is pretty fast.

I am not going to take anything like that seriously, because ultimately, I will be the only one I trust in life, and I will be the only one who will be there for me.

Maybe...

2012-01-09T14:49:00.001+08:00

Maybe ultimately, i will be like the rest...

Leave that place because I am unable to adapt to that place.

... Because I'm tired of trying to imagine all the possibilities.

And I'm sick and tired of having to pretend.

If I wanted to pretend that I give a shit, then I would have taken up an interior designer job.

Are you pretending to be nice,

or are you really as civil as I imagined you to be?

Cupcake!

2012-01-06T15:18:00.001+08:00

Because I'm working somewhere related to cakes and baking.

:D
Got this fudge cupcake with mint icing thingy a while back, although the photo doesnt do it any justice.

It's sparkly in real life. :D

Female of little tears.

2012-01-04T15:38:00.002+08:00

I'm a leo, not surprisingly.

And I find it hard to cry in public, or share the many things I do not wish for anyone to know about.

Maybe it's my pride, or the way i was being raised. I learn that crying to get what you want is deemed as weak, and a one-trick pony who uses her ability to cry on cue as a form of blackmail to get things done her way.

I feel slightly inspired to blog about this only because many things have happened recently at work, unpleasant things that I do not wish to go into detail.

Many things have changed since I've started work. Relationships between co-workers, the general impression my co-workers have of me, etc.
And did I mention that I am still on probation?!

I wonder if I should carry on with this job, because it no longer seems fun, and in general, I feel that things have changed so much that it suffocates me just thinking about me.

I consider myself as a rather straightforward person, and would rather have the person come up and tell me in my face what the hell am I doing wrong or have done wrong.

If anyone is expecting me to cry, dont expect to see tears coming from me. I am not that weak girl that everyone thinks I am or should be.

Sometimes, it is better to not invest your feelings and time into people or things that you know will end up turning against you in future.

2012.

2012-01-02T15:00:00.000+08:00

2011 has been a depressing year.

But let me try and count my blessings...

I graduated, like finally, I'm out of that hellhole.
I got a job, with minimum wage, but still, a job with really nice people.
I've had a... pretty decent birthday this year. :/ Kinda.
And I've been pretty healthy this year, no sickness or anything. :/

Overall, 2011 has been decent, although I am left hopeless with no dreams or goals or whatever. But I am hoping that 2012 will be a better year for me. :)

It is always good to have hope.

This year, I shall try and be an adult about things, and start making resolutions and keep to them.

But instead of making a list of things I wish to achieve by 2012 and to only check back on it a year later, I have decided to make one where I will check back every 3 months.

So that makes 4 list of things I will achieve by the end of this year.

Fingers crossed that it will be... a more productive year for me because now that I am no longer a student, everything is... less forgiving.

For now, this is going to be my list of things I wish to accomplish by Apr 2nd.

Make my first $1k in my private business, which I will not share on this blog.
Plan out at least 2 holiday trips for 2012.
Exercise, because I desperately need to lose weight. I aim to drop at least 1 dress size by end of March.
Save up to $500 a month, because saving is good.
Blog more often.

Till then, I shall update the world (aka whoever that still reads my blog) on April 2nd, and we shall see if I have achieved my goals for the first quarter of 2012.

Partially-new celebrity husband.

2011-12-30T17:00:00.000+08:00

Partially new, because I kinda like him a bit. :/

Zico, from Block B. :D

Next time you point the finger, I'll point you to the mirror.

2011-12-28T17:00:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I wish that liars will all go to hell.

Or let me have some sort of super power, where I can transmit? Give off? create? some sort of ultrasonic sound over the phone.
So all dem fuckers who think they can be nasty, or think that it's fine for them to lie, will have blood shooting out of their ears, or their heads will vibrate so much that it explodes.

Just recently, I had to deal with this compulsive lying bitch, who told me she has paid for the class.

She did not turn up for the class, saying that she did not receive the confirmation email from the instructor that she's part of the class, and since she didn't make payment for the class, she did not think that it would matter anyway.

And the instructor, expects me to pay for her assistant fee.

Well, FUCK.YOU.

Dear bitches, I hope you trip over your own legs and fall flat on your face for the next three months. May all your teeth drop out, or you will bite your own tongue every time you open your mouth to speak.

Dear meanies,

2011-12-26T17:00:00.000+08:00

I think customers are under the impression that if they are nasty to the people serving them, things will get done a lot better and more efficiently.

Dear nasty customers, honestly, what makes you think I care about your piddily ass problems? The world doesnt revolve around your sorry ass and frankly, your attitude makes me want to get things done a lot slower just so I can piss you off even more.

I have encountered, just recently, this mean guy who thinks that we are after his money, which, honestly, is not a huge sum.

Granted that it is still money, no matter what, but honestly, how hard is it for you to phrase your words nicely in a polite tone? There really is no need for you to talk down on anybody just because we are not some high-flying person who lives a jet-setting life where you are flying in and out of town so much that you dont even remeber how to be nice to others.

Sometimes I wish I have a giant hand so I can smack them down.

Ch-ch-ch-change.

2011-12-23T17:00:00.001+08:00

I want to chop my hair this short, but many people have issues with it. -_-

I want the best of both worlds. ;_;

2011-12-21T15:00:00.000+08:00

I am at the crossroads of my life once again, which is not surprising.

I once had big dreams, now I sound old. ;_;

I once had big dreams, of leaving this country and never coming back.

And I was looking forward to fulfilling that dream of mine as I age.

I was looking forward to cutting off all ties with my relatives, friends and family.

I was looking forward to start afresh in a country where nobody knows who I am and who I was in the past.

That little dream of mine has been wavering a lot in the past couple of months.

I couldn't get into the agency I wanted, and I didn't plan out a second route for myself because to me, it was DO-OR-DIE.

I refuse to let go of that little dream I had, in fact, I was clinging on to it desperately because I really wanted it to work out for the greater good... and for myself. :/

Whenever I tell close friends, because I don't talk to my family, about my dream, I would always get funny stares from them, and a patronizing "I will support you in whatever you do."

Only 2 or 3 of my friends have been pushing me, constantly nagging at me to go do something about it.

This whole I-HAVE-A-DESTINY-TO-FULFIL thing has been bothering me a lot, and it has made me extremely depressed because of things people have been saying to me.

:/ I still believe that I will get there, to wherever I want, someday, sooner or later. But recently, I have been considering the options of dying a nobody in Singapore, where I still have to be in contact with relatives, friends and family.

The only thing that will get me through this entire... ordeal, is the thought of moving out of my parents' house, living my life in a God-forsaken place where I will be far, FAR away from my family. :/

I really don't care whether it's God-forsaken or not, as long as I have my basic necessities like hot water, clean toilet, a kitchen, internet, electricity and personal space, and maybe a room-mate to abuse... Like Leonard from Big Bang Theory.

Slowly, I think I have been starting to let go of that little dream I try to hold on to so desperately... although they keep coming back to haunt me every so often. ):

Life, it's depressing to just live.

Right now, I guess I am still trying to appreciate the simple things in life, and at the same time convince myself that being in Singapore is not so bad. At least I can meet up with my friends for dinner after work, even when given last-minute notice about things like that.

I sometimes wonder though, did God spend a little too much time on the people who are living out my dream now, or is He enjoying this show He's watching from above, as His many believers as Him for help in fulfilling their prayers.

Hey there, how's life?

2011-12-19T17:00:00.001+08:00

Hey there, how's life?

I've gotten myself a real job, so blogging is no longer a priority... like it was a priority in the first place.

I'm adapting well to a life where I just work and not think about what I really want to do in future.
Obviously, by getting myself a real job, in a way, I have already given up on whatever I used to call "my dream".

In exchange for minimum wage, I am working at a place where it is filled with things that I have no knowledge of, and have no interest in.

I still want what I want, but I am no longer actively trying to pursue what is deemed as impossible.
I no longer have the time to commit, and things like that wait for no man.

Sometimes I wonder if giving up on "my dream" has forced me to start looking for an alternative, where I have to settle for something I declare as second best.

For now, I shall just try blogging a bit more, just to see how far I can go along with this.

Imma blog, imma blog. imma, imma, imma blog~

2011-10-26T18:02:00.004+08:00

Hello there,

It's been a while. (:

I have been busy with my new job and stuff... and busy trying to doll myself up for my brother's wedding which was last Sunday. :/

Today happened to be a public holiday, therefore I am blogging.

I haz a job~, as mentioned above.

The pay is decent, the hours are awesome. The location, even better.

It takes me an hour to get to work, not that I mind.

Because it is always good to spend time apart from the family memberzzzz.

I haz new hair now.. :/ and Imma post a photo because that way, my blog post will seem more interesting~.

This is my new hair. And if you are wondering, I did not shave it.

I pinned it back because my job requires me to have normal-looking hair styles.

And this was my outfit for the event.

My calves look chunky because of the shoes, assholes.

Shirt : H&M

Leggings : Cotton On

Pants : FEP, the shop closed down already.

Shoes : JS Adidas Gold Wings

Accessories : MMM Incognito-inspired sunglasses from Ebay

And I made the harness-looking chain-like thingy myself.

Spikes from F21

and the watch is JS Lightning Bolt watch from Swatch.

And tadah~,

This is an update.

I am having an ongoing war with my family memberzzzz, if you all are wondering.

My mother has taken it upon herself again to throw my things away without asking me. I had to come home to 2 garbage bags full of my stuff outside my house, only to have her say, in her self-righteous tone that all my stuff were junk.

And for some reason, she thinks that by doing my laundry (not very well) and stuffing me with $20 will make me stop hating her for what she has done.

My father cleared up the mess I specially made for her, as an act of revenge. Therefore we are not speaking as well.

I really do not care about my brother enough to do anything, sorry.

Tadah, an update.

I want to be that girl...

2011-09-30T22:25:00.002+08:00

The one who has everything in her bag...

picture credit : http://thingsorganizedneatly.tumblr.com/

Makeup pouches and all...

Random Photo Update.

2011-09-19T14:45:00.003+08:00

This is a pile of shiny, silver badges.

This is a photo of the shiny badges up close, in detail.

And here it is again.

This is my fangirl, wearing her blazer with the shiny badges on them.

YES, I HAVE A FANGIRL.

Someday...

2011-08-30T17:19:00.003+08:00

SOMEDAY...

I will find a boyfriend who will remember my birthday.

I will find a boyfriend who will LAST till my birthday, at least.

I will be someone's eyecandy.

I will find a guy who will not ask me to wear a dress, or skirt... or constantly whine that I do not wear a dress or a skirt.

I will find a guy who is not clingy. BITCH, I DON'T DO CLINGY, or emotional.

(I know I date like a guy. Shut up about it already.)

I will find a Scandinavian boyfriend who is at least 1.8m tall, hair-free from nose down, practise good hygiene habits AND SMELL NICE.

I WILL BE RICH AND FAMOUS, and all those who go against me will all go dowwwwwn. >DD

Well, a girl can dream. :/

2011-08-30T16:20:00.002+08:00

I sincerely do not see the point of me helping you with your stuff because you only approach me for help when you need it.

Fuck off.

You're my melody~

2011-08-29T17:39:00.007+08:00

Today has been a productive day...

Seeing as how I am unemployed, and have been rolling out of bed at 1 in the afternoon, I take doing anything useful as productive. :/

I should start blogging daily, updating the world and myself the things I have accomplished for the day so as to make me feel a little better, and not as useless. :/

So today, I...

Fixed my favourite Lime Crime lipstick. :D

Well I love all my Lime Crime lipsticks, especially the bright ones.

But recently I have been opting for this... more mellow and regular shade of orange(Cosmopop). :/

SEE, I AM CHANGING FOR THE WORST! ;A;

And it's my "new" Blackberry Curve you see next to it, because I didn't want my lipstick to feel lonely in the photo.

It's "new" because,

I just got it, but it once belonged to my brother who is now using the Bold, I think.

It was either I take it, or he sell it. So I took it, and had intentions of using it as a paperweight... or door stopper. :/

But yeah, I took it so I can master it and consider getting the Torch next year. Or I could always opt for the Iphone 4. :/

YES, I LIKE OLD PHONES. Judge me all you want. Hmph.

Recorded the two songs that were long overdue, I think. :/

Took me a good 2 hours to record my parts for one song, and in all honesty, I really don't sound good in recordings at all. D:

Did the laundry~!

Or am going to. :/ I like doing the laundry, and paper mopping my room. D: Do not judge.

Updated my resume~!

Because I think I have found a job I might be interested in. :D And I am hoping to get it instead of falling back on my backup plan because I think my dad hopes that I will go work for the gahmen for the rest of my life, like him. D:

Beaming a lot because of the awesome dream I have had the night before~!

I dreamt that YG told me that I will be joining his company... One can dream, right?

Either that or it is time I try out for YGE again, this time more seriously. :/

That is all I have done for the day.

Now to Photoshop my brother's photos to make him uh, look better in his wedding montage. :/

Something I need to get off my chest.

2011-08-25T00:27:00.002+08:00

I know, I know.

I know I haven't done a proper update in like, 2 million years.

BUT I AM UPDATING MY BLOG NOW.

In lieu of recent events, I have too many things I want to get off my chest. And because I am typing this out at like... 12:27am in the morning, do not mind the randomness that you see on this post or else many words will be exchanged on Twitter.

#1.

I am now unemployed. ;A;

If you are following me on Twitter, and you happen to see my tweets, whining about my life, don't ignore it. SHOW ME SOME LOVE PLEASE.

If only I was a famous blogger, or something. And if only I still have the will to want to pursue what I have set out to do. :/

I am now sending out resumes and stuff, in hopes of getting a job by September because...

#2.

I am getting my teeth fixed, for the second time.

In case the many people who read my blog have no idea about this, I have had braces for 5 years.

I have had them when I was 10, took them out when I was 15.

And yet, my teeth still looks... the way it does today. -_-

And because I am unemployed now, I have decided to get the cheaper alternative, which are aligners.

And cheaper does not mean it's THAT cheap.

Those aligners have wiped out $800 from my savings. Yay me. -_-

And every 2-3 months, I have to go back and get a new one, which will set me back another $300.

The joy, and I am unemployed. ;A;

#3.

HAPPY THINGS TO SHARE : SOMEONE NICE HAVE ASKED ME TO COLLABORATE WITH THEM IN A SONG COVER. :D

Me, being the one who can't sing to save my life, have the honour of doing the rap parts... because the nice person said she likes my rapping.

And if it all goes well, I MIGHT post it up here for the world to see. :D

#4.

My hypothetical husband, Tom Kaulitz, has dumped me for a hotter chick 6 years his senior. ;A;

Which leaves me in a vulnerable state where I just might like any random Singaporean guy off the streets.

NEED.NEW.CELEBRITY.HUSBAND.NOW.

#5.

I am breaking out like nobody's business.

Yes, I feel the need to share this because this is my blog.

No, I do not give a fuck about what you are going to say about it.

;_; or maybe I do... AH, just give me a break.

I have been spamming sheet masks and clay masks on my face every day now. And it is healing, which is good. So I am hoping in a week or two, I will be able to go out in public with just BB cream and powder, and lots of eye makeup.

._.

#6.

I am trying, desperately to lose weight now because my brother's wedding is in like... 2 months time?

And because there are photos of me in his wedding montage.

I do not want any of my relatives to go :

"Aw she was so skinny then! BUT JUST LOOK AT HER NOW!"

*sniggers*

Bitch, PLEASE!

Let me handle one tragedy at a time.

#7.

Apparently, my style/I am changing. D:

This is not a good thing, and this is really a major crisis.

._.

I happened to like someone... probably. :/

And for some unknown reason, I am becoming more girly. D:

I am starting to like uh, vintage-y charms and such...?

Just the accessories part, which is not that bad yet.

THAT.IS.AN.ABOMINATION.

I do not need you people to judge me, because I am already judging myself for changing. -_-

Dear LORD!

ONE TRAGEDY AT A TIME! PLEASE!

That is all I have to update for now.

I am hoping that I will be able to do more frequent updates, with photos and such. :/

Because the blogs I read, dem bloggers always photograph everything.

And by everything, I really do mean EVERYTHING.

And it makes their blog so interesting! D:

Maybe that's why they have more readers and followers and such...

Oh well... :/

Roo is old. ;A;

2011-08-24T00:47:00.001+08:00

I recently turned 21.

And with nothing to my name, I am officially old and useless. ;_;

I feel pretty enough to post this up.

2011-08-04T00:27:00.004+08:00

I was having a good-hair day today.

And I was trying out one of my many new lipsticks.

And my skin is healing up pretty nicely.

Therefore, being a Leo, I took many many many photos of myself, because I am only young once. ;_;

And being shameless, I posting it up on my blog.

Don't judge, bitches.

I posted that last photo, bottom right hand corner, on Twitter this afternoon.

Original picture shown below.

Yep, and I consider this as an update.

My childhood... sorta. :/

2011-07-29T00:35:00.000+08:00

I haz been helping my brother scan photos for his wedding montage, and uh, during this time, I realise that I have changed a lot, looks wise, growing up.

You know the saying :

"The only person who can love him/her is his/her mother."

Looking at those photos, that saying is uh, invalid, because I am pretty sure even my mother is unable to love me from the way I looked when I was younger. D:

Why do I even have friends?! D:

Oh, but at least I had pretty legs then, and longer hair. And I looked more like a girl then.

I was 11. D: And I was forced to take this after someone kissed me on the cheek. ;A;

ME NO LIKEY WHEN PEOPLE TOUCH ME! D<

I was 11..

And apparently I have been taking photos like that ever since. D:

I was 8, and I was vain. And skinny. :/

And apparently I always do the peace sign when taking photos. D:

I was 9,

and this was taken in Bangkok at the hotel lobby because my mother is cheesy like that.

I was 11, and I was made to take this photo with my brother's textbook.

He wrapped his textbooks with pictures of steroid-filled musclemen. ._.

Kt said I look like a Japanese school girl. D:

I just think I look nothing like myself now. D: And I really wondered what happened to me growing up. D;

Dear Roo,

how did you become so fat?! D:

Sincerely, Self.

Many things I do not get.

2011-07-25T15:47:00.004+08:00

I haz time, therefore I shall blog.

I am in my shop, waiting for my Ryuk 2.0 to die before I charge it and I felt... "inspired" to blog this out.

Many things I do not get :

Why would someone try so hard to impress other people, then when they get a chance to, they'll just bitch about you behind your back?

Or simply, just try so hard to impress other people for the sake of appearing popular.

There is this girl, used to be a good friend of mine, I blogged about her before.

She was a good friend of mine, till she started getting on my nerves. :/ Maybe "getting on my nerves" is not a good way to describe what happened.

We were good friends, so whenever there's class projects, we would team up together with the other bunch of people we hung out with. And they, like her, would not put any effort into the project and would rather spend time talking about boys on magazines. -_-

And she would always, I repeat : ALWAYS, ask me to introduce my friends to her, then she would act all close with them, blah blah blah.

The entire scene would be something like this...

Me talking about this random guy friend of mine, and she would go

"Who is he?! How you know him?! INTRODUCE TO ME LEH!"

All of that, happening when she has a boyfriend. -_-

And that pissed the shit out of me.

She would try and impress them, and then start acting all close to them because she wants to fit in and pretend that she's popular.

Why, bitch?! Bitch, why?!

And when I cut off all ties with her, she would say that I am PMS-ing all the time, and would go "What is your problem?!" in a self-righteous tone. -_-

And by the way, because we are no longer friends, I have blocked her on Facebook and such, and she went ahead and used her boyfriend's account to stalk me.

Dear bitch,

My friends are mine, your friends are yours.

I don't care about introducing them to you because you are not a nice person.

Why do you have to pretend to be a nice person and try and impress them when clearly you are nothing like the way you portray yourself to be?!

Now get over it and stop stalking me.

Sincerely,

Roo.

And then, there's this other girl, whom I was addressing in my previous post. The very nice girl who made me the happiest girl in the entire world.

(FYI : It was sarcasm, by the way.)

That was a girl I met not too long ago for the first time in my entire life. I admit that I have heard of her, and I did do my background search before I met her.

I had a pretty bad impression of her at first, but my good friend said I should just be civil towards her, which I did, because I am usually never polite or in general, nice, to people I dislike or have a bad impression of.

And for some reason, me being civil was apparently the cue for her to climb over my head and pee all over it.

And for some reason, I still manage to "pissed the shit out of her". Or rather, she offended me on the day we met, in a very very very ridiculous fashion.

At first when I met her, she started acting all... Nice. :/ That is the best word I can use to describe the way she was acting, because right after "Hello" she went ahead and became a bitch.

She either has issues with me helping my friend out with her makeup, or me making so much noise when I first came into the room, or because I warm up to people easily, therefore the spotlight is on me, the awesomest one, and no longer her.

(That is probably irrelevant, but I just wanted to put that on my blog. Don't judge me.)

From what I heard about her, she's not a very nice person, obviously.

She acts all nice in front of others and once they're gone, she would start bitching about them.

Seriously?!

And she expects people to be there when she needs help, be there when she summons them for an outing, be on her side whenever she throws a hissy fit or whine or pick a fight.

And probably the only reason why she still has friends is because the people around her is nice enough to not want to cut her off, and ostracise her.

Dear Passive People,

Sometimes you need to cut people off in your lives. People who are not nice, people who cause shit, people who start dramas, and people who pretend they are your friends and bitch about you the moment you turn around. There is nothing nice or good about pitying her because she doesn't deserve your kindness.

Sincerely,

Roo.

Dear bitch,

You better thank your lucky stars that you have met a bunch of really nice, kind, good people in school because I am pretty damn sure that if you were in my school, or in my course, I would cut you off and pretty much leave you hanging alone. Someday, someday I swear someone will stand up to you, and Karma will be waiting to bite you in the ass. And stop bullying my friend, you cunt, or else the person who will stand up to you is ME and be prepared to get hurt real badly.

Sincerely,

Roo.

Just something to uh, entertain my "blog readers" for the moment.

2011-07-17T15:21:00.000+08:00

._.

Let's just put it this way:
This blog post/video thingy is, in a way, dedicated to this very nice girl I met not too long ago who made me just the happiest girl in the entire world.

._. Enjoy.

Photo!

2011-06-18T23:25:00.001+08:00

Here is evidence that I am a pedophile. ;A;

I can't help but like pretty little boys. ):

He should be 15 by now. D:

I wonder if he is still as handsome...

Picture Heavy Post.

2011-06-05T23:27:00.010+08:00

The Blog-5-Days-A-Week thing with categories is not working out for me, obviously. :/

At the moment, I am at the crossroads of my life again. :/ I have to decide whether I am going to settle down and give into Fate, or in Chinese, 认命 , or still fight for the things I want.

And it doesn't help that I have about $6000 worth of debt. Education loan, my mother used her CPF to pay for my Polytechnic school fees. So now I have to pay it back, the full sum plus interest.

That is one of the many reasons why I have been so depressed lately. D:

Bah, anyway, I was looking through my folders in my laptop, and I found a whole bunch of random photos that I have never posted up on my blog before, probably. :/

So I shall just spam photos here, because I want to update my blog, but I am not in the mood to type out my feelings here. :/

I got a new blogskin image by the way. :D

I just need to figure out how to work the CSS thing because I have so many things I want to edit. D:

My birthday uh, last year?

Fair legs iz mine.

Curled my hair for the first time with my flat iron.

Hip-hop yo, hip-hop.

First time looking like a girl in Year 1.

Check out my ba-bling~!

Uh, camwhoring before crit. ._.

Lady Gaga shades and Lime Crime lipstick in Styletto.

One of my favourite hoodies now. :D

My coolio red hair which I miss a lot.

Ashler, Val and I at Botanical Gardens in Year 2.

Yiliang and I. D:

Fay being super kawaii. :D

SGBlogAwards 2 years ago. :/

I shall just post these up for now. :/

I sincerely hope and pray that I will be able to decide what I want to do with my life soon. ):

Random Item of the Day #2!

2011-06-02T02:01:00.002+08:00

Random Item of the Day #2!

It has been... less than a week, and I am already feeling a little tired of blogging nearly everyday. D:

I think coming up with topics to blog about is a lot harder than it looks.

:/ I think I have a newfound respect for bloggers who update their blogs everyday, with photos and all.

I am one who can't even be bothered to Photoshop my photos and watermark them, just because my photos are nothing special. D:

So today's Random Item of the Day...

Is not really AN item, but a whole bunch of them.

This is my drawer of backups.

In it, I have...

4 tubes of mascara
1 tube of liquid eyeliner.
6 tubes of masks, 2 of which are for removing blackheads on the nose.
2 bottles of toner.
2 bottles of serum.
1 bottle of sunblock, surprisingly.
1 tube of eyeshadow primer.
3 packs of makeup wipes.
2 sample-size tubes of anti-aging cream because I am a a kiasu Singaporean like that.
2 tubs of moisturiser.
1 tube of uh, makeup base? I bought in Hong Kong which I have no idea what to use it for. I just might give it away.
4 bottles of BB cream.
1 bottle of Tea Tree Oil.

Eeeyeah, that should be about it.

I like buying a whole bunch of makeup/skin care products and just keep it at home till I am done with what I am using at the moment.

Simply because sometimes, some places have sale and it is wise to stock up on stuff like my toner. And also because I like to tweak my skincare routine a bit every now and then.

I was thinking of posting up my makeup stash, I think my eyeshadow stash is pretty decent. :/ But I am in the midst of giving stuff away to friends, so I think that might wait till I am done sifting.

I will post it up soon though. ._.

****************************************

These days, I have been uh, feeling really depressed...

If that is even the right word for it.

I am sick and tired of eating, which is not normal for me because I nearly always think about food.

I don't have the urge to go shopping, which is also not normal for me because I am usually always seen shopping online, even when I have to do online research for work.

And I can't seem to find anything to do online (because I like to push blogging to the back of my head) at all. D: I used to spend my days watching Youtube videos, and now, I get bored after 1-2 hours of video watching. D:

I think I am getting tired of living, because I am not doing what I want.

Being alive is depressing...

Random update.

2011-06-01T01:06:00.004+08:00

I... couldn't find anything interesting to blog about today...

So I am just going to update slightly here because it doesn't make sense to write paragraphs and paragraphs of things that are so random. :/

I haz found my missing $50. It flew into a little corner of my room.
My father pronounces "Mio" as in MioTV as "Mayo".
I realise I pack my table at least 5 times a day because I can't stand a messy table and yet I keep messing it up.
I love Daiso, how can anyone now love it?
I have been on a makeup/skincare clearing spree. I am giving away stuff of mine, after I have cleaned it, to friends. Not really giving, more like stuffing them with it just because I have too much and I want to buy more, therefore I need the space.
Lately I have been feeling like a mother. :/ I am nagging friends of mine to print their stuff early.
I am officially too fat to fit into my fat clothes. Today, the elastic band of my polka dot harem pants just went *POP*. Now I can't wear it anymore till I've fixed it.
When elastic bands in your clothes burst, it says a lot.
I really need to start sewing stuff again because I am pretty sure I am wasting a lot of time at home doing nothing.
I am sad that Desperate Housewives, Big Bang Theory, Vampire Diaries, HIMYM is over. I really don't care that much about Modern Family because I hate Cam and I hate Phil.
But I can look forward to uh, Pretty Little Liars and True Blood. :D
Janice Dickinson Modelling Agency is very entertaining. :D
It is official that I dislike skinny people. Skinny people, GO AWAY! D<
I have been enjoying many good hair days because of my new hair treatment masque. :D
Harvesting my emotions is not going well because instead of using those emotions to motivate me, I am... leaning slightly towards "giving into Fate" and just sell my soul to the corporate world.
I am in need of a new hair colour and cut. D: Which I need help deciding. D:
I realise I am very into purple and blue these days. I have passed the Orange phase... hopefully. :D
My Hot Topic stuff is arriving! :D
I am thinking of buying more lipsticks because I just found out that they may just get discontinued like that. D:
I am very thankful that Tiger Beer keeps contacting me for Blogger Events, but D: I don't drink, even though I am of the legal age. So I am apologizing here for not replying all the time to their invitations. D:
My eye candy is attached. Eye candy, I guess?! Given that I have yet to see his face properly... I saw him with his girlfriend today, which is a good thing. :D
I want to curl into a ball and roll around the room and whine about my life. Don't judge me.
I think people would love to see blogs with shitloads of photos. And if you are here because you are expecting many photos, I am sorry. I don't camwhore like the other bloggers, and I don't like sharing what I wore, ate and bought that day because :/ I eat normal food in giant portions and I wear whatever I like, and by not showing, I am saving myself the criticism from the rest of the world.
I really need to go to Salvation Army soon to donate my clothes. D:
I wish I had everything come easy for me. Like "I wish I could model" and TADA, I am immediately of model-material, being signed to Janice Dickinson Modelling Agency. I am referring to Brittany Picozzi here.
I haven't been catching up with Kpop songs and news lately, just because there are too many groups out there these days, and I am listening to the older songs and Nicki Minaj these days.
I am breaking out like nobody's business! D< Pimples, get the fuck off my awesome face, thanks.

I think that is all I have to say for now...

Will update again soon! :D

Family.

2011-05-26T14:41:00.003+08:00

Looks like I have been keeping up with my schedule... :D Kinda. :D

3 posts in a week, it has been a really long time since I have been blogging this much. :D

I think Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays will be just random posts days, because I don't think I will be able to keep up with having lots of photo shoots on Wednesdays, just so I can post up the pretty pictures on Thursdays on my blog. D:

Mmm, today's topic is a little random.

It only came to mind after my friends, Maureen and Danni, said they wanted to know what my brother looks like.

See, there is this HUGE age gap between us, 9 years. It is not that huge to the point where there is a significant generation gap between us, but it is huge enough for the world to know that I am his younger sister whenever we hang out together.

For some reason, either my brother USED to like hooking up with little girls, or I look old, which is totally not the case because I use sunblock regularly, people keep mistaking me for his girlfriend. -_-

Sorry, my future sister-in-law. D: You need to appear next to him more often. D:

I was looking for my IC the day before my graduation ceremony, because it was needed.

(Yes, I know I need to keep my IC in a safe place because it cost $150 to make a new one. -_-)

And instead of finding my IC, I found old photos of my family hidden in some corner of my room.

D: I have no idea why I have them, because if it were up to me, the only photos displayed or hidden in my room would be photos of me... Pretty photos of me.

And so, I have decided to share them here... because it's my blog and I want to.

Note that some of the photos are really old. D: So the quality and colour is not as great as it used to be.

So this is my family, taken when I still had long black hair. D:

During Chinese New Year before I was 6... I think I was either 4 or 5 in that photo. D:

Yes, my dad looks like General Tojo, everyone has been saying that. -_-

As long as you do not take my father away as a war criminal, you may feel free to go on and on about him looking like that Japanese General from WW2.

I posted this photo before, but I think I took down the post when I went on a blog-cleaning spree.

I was 2, given the number of candles on my cake, and the round red things you see there, those are red eggs.

Yes, eggs were that big then. And they are insanely tiny now.

That's my mother and I, at my late-grandmother's house on the other side of Singapore. D:

I was probably 9... And I used to wear that shirt ALL.THE.TIME.

Yes, I was never fat my entire life, i only ballooned up after puberty.

Most recent Polaroid of my brother and I, taken on my graduation day AT NIGHT, when he came down to pick me up after I missed the last bus home.

Yes, I still have cheeks, and I know I am super-kawaii in that shot.

*flips hair*

My family likes to believe that we are a very close-knit family...

That's all I can say about it.

There are times when I do not feel connected to anyone at all, and there are times I actually found it ridiculous that the family still thinks and believes that we are very close. :/

But that is life, isn't it?

Everyone knows that friends come and go, but family sticks together forever. So even if you're not close to any of them, you can sort of always count on them to be there somehow. :/

Random Item of the Day! :D

2011-05-25T19:13:00.002+08:00

Every Wednesday is

RANDOM ITEM OF THE DAY

... day. D:

And today's item is! :DD

FYI : If you have no idea who/what that is, then you are not my friend, AT ALL.

Graduation.

2011-05-25T18:44:00.004+08:00

I skipped blogging yesterday because it was my graduation ceremony and I didn't want to be home early. :/

I didn't get to blog... So much for my blog-for-5-days-a-week plan. Bah.

But I am going to make up for it with two short posts today. :D

Graduation was... Ok? D: It was a warm day, and wearing the robe and white formal shirt made it harder for me to endure. D:

The entire process went by really quickly, and rest of the time was spent on taking photos with my course mates whom I won't be seeing for like, the rest of my life, or maybe those occasional few times where we would bump into each other in the middle of Orchard Road.

): That's right, I don't deal well with seperation. ):

I ended up using 2 packs of Instax films, because I am lazy to use my digital camera to take photos. Which is a good thing, since my Instax Camera has always been collecting dust in a little corner all this while.

I will be scanning the photos, and I might consider uploading them later in a seperate blog post. :D

I am slightly happy, and slightly depressed that I have officially graduated.

Happy, because I no longer have to deal with AutoCad drawings, spending money on model-making materials and printing, rushing for deadlines, and the lack of sleep. Yes, the world is now a brighter, happier place for me.

But it is depressing because I know for sure that after this, we will never see each other again. And planning for gatherings is a damn hard thing, with all the guys going to NS, and some people flying overseas to study. ;A; We are never going to see each other again. ;A;

Although... I am happy that I don't have to deal with the people I don't like anymore. :D

I will miss abusing all my friends into doing my bidding.

MUAHAHAHAHA.

Like abusing Henry, Yiliang, Allen and Val into telling me stuff, or just for the fun of it.

Bullying Shufei into helping me buy Bubble Tea, walking home from school with Dawn, singing and pretending to dance with Ashler, Ah Mun, Esther and Jiamin,telling long-hair Yuxuan that she sucks and she goes D: , talking all about Geun Suk Oppa with short-hair Yuxuan, poking random people because I felt like it, making Ah Mun go over to the laser cutting workshop to help me with my model...

It looks like I am a huge bully. D: But it was fun while it lasted... HAHAHAHA.

At the end of the day... I wonder if they will remember me. :/ Ten years down the road, will we still keep in contact with each other? ):

Poly has made me a happier person. Secondary school was just... bullshit for me. Maybe because I had a hard time fitting in, maybe because the people in secondary school didn't like my face, but I remember having a hard time in school, to the point where it was hard to even want to wake up and turn up for lessons.

Primary and Secondary school was a dark period for me. I remember laughing my head off while watching horror movies, just because I thought it was really fun to see people in pain. And all the stuff I had were black, white and red. Because other colours were too happy for my liking.

Now, I dress like rainbow vomit, not exactly. But I have changed a lot since, and I love all things colourful now. Hahaha, I can only take black and white in small doses.

Poly has been a wonderful time for me, minus the workload...

Ok, enough of chessy, sappy stories about what Poly has done for me mental wellbeing.

Right now, I have to go clean my bed room. D: And do a bit of laundry, because I am a neat freak like that. D:

WAZZUP WORLD! + Video of the week.

2011-05-23T11:53:00.010+08:00

WAZZUP WORLD!

I know it has been a really long time since I had actually churned out a decent blog post.

Decent, meaning it has more than 2 lines, and is actually something meaningful to me, probably. :/

I am on my way to becoming a little more active online since I realise I can make money out of it, which I will explain now.

(This is going to be a long post... D:)

See, if you actually read my blog consistently, you would know that I had just graduated from Poly. (THREE YEARS OF HELL!!!!)

And while my classmates are busy looking for jobs, or looking to further their studies, OR are waiting for enlistment, I have actually been bumming around a lot at home.

I am still working part-time at that children clothes shop, since I have nothing better to do at home and I need the money to maintain my lifestyle of shopping online. So yes, I am still working at that children clothes shop.

The pay is... slightly better than average. Since there are people who only pay $4.50/hr, therefore I dare say that my boss is actually paying me rather well.

I have made some money through Nuffnang, and it has recently slowed down a lot. (because I got lazy to blog.) And I had actually made money through ChurpChurp, its Twitter counterpart. Therefore I figured it wouldn't be that bad to accumulate some extra cash online, since every bit of money counts right now. :/

And to keep myself on track, I have made a list of topics I will be blogging on a daily basis for 5 days a week, an idea I got from Doe Deere.

Every Monday, I will be posting up a video of the week, and I shall wing it for the other 4 days. :/ Kinda.

Expect to see more pictures, hopefully, if I can get myself to use my camera to snap something interesting.

****************************************

Stuff that has happened to me recently, I shall just update you quickly in point form, starting with the boring stuff...

Because I am badass like that.

I have overspent again this month, therefore no online shopping for the month of June. ):
I have an asymmetrical hair cut now! :D Which reminds me that I need a haircut, desperately. D:
I am in the midst of changing my blogskin again.
I have started watching Desperate Housewives Season 7. :D
I ate sushi buffet, for two days in a row. ;A;
I have decided that I should lose weight before my brother gets married, but so far, I haven't done anything about it. I am still eating whatever I want, and I am not exercising as much as I wanted. Which means I did exercise ok!
I am still going to chase after that impossible dream of mine, even though I know only one person is supporting me.
Somebody nominated my blog for the OMY SGBlogAwards. Which is nice, if it is not a prank. But it makes me wonder why did that person nominate me for the WTH category, since I haven't posted anything WTH-ish in a very long time. I did join in the end, hopefully I will win something nice. I want to win the tickets to Melbourne, Australia. D:

****************************************

VIDEO OF THE WEEK!

If you check Youtube out as frequent as I do, you would probably see this girl's face on the front page every once in a while.

The quality of her videos is not very good, which I am assuming it is being filmed on her Macbook. :/

But she is very entertaining, and her most recent video has been the main topic of some of the conversations I had recently.

I always ask my friends who are attached whether or not they, or their other halves pay for everything on dates. Only because I read Jason Hahn's books and blog, and because I have a MCP of a brother who once said to me,

"Why do you bother if movie tickets are expensive or not? If you are dating, the guy will pay for you anyway."

It gave me the impression that guys always have to pay on dates.

And I went -_- immediately.

IN MY OPINION,

I find it ridiculous that guys have to pay for everything, because in a way, it feels like you are being paid to keep him company.

Paying for special occasions like birthdays is fine, but just not on every date.

And I would expect him to pay if he, very seriously, tells me that it will be his treat.

... Although, I would only date a guy if he has his own car and preferably his own place.

Which means he's paying for it himself. The petrol, COE and whatnots. Just because I need to know that he is capable of earning his own keep, and I will not have to be the one supporting him financially. :/

That is all I have to say about this, for now. :/

If anyone has anything to say about this, just leave your comments on my tagboard at the sidebar on the left.

I do read the tags, even though I know it is all spam and crap on it right now. :/

Not sure is it because I smile too much...

2011-05-12T19:00:00.000+08:00

Or is it because I wear colourful things.

But people tend to just not take me seriously and even think it's OK to just only talk to me or ask me out when they need to.

I am not some charity organisation, I do not need your charity.

People expect me to be there for them, be there when they need people.

But when it's time to "repay the favour", they just disappear.

So what the fuck am I to them?!

WHAT.THE.FUCK.AM.I.TO.THEM?!

My social circle is small, as I have mentioned a thousand and one times on this blog of mine. But I feel that because it's small, each friend is hand-picked (kinda), so it would at least mean something to both of us.

Because while I am friendly to most people, that does not necessarily mean that they are automatically a part of my social circle. And especially since I filter people out of it every once in a while...

I just feel like I am not being treated around with enough respect as a human. BAH, fucking humans.

It's PMS period, I need an outlet to vent out my frustrations.

It's been a long time coming...

2011-05-11T20:01:00.004+08:00

So I have graduated... As I have mentioned in my previous posts...

I have been bumming around at home, planning out things that will not be coming to fruition any time soon. I realise that I really need to start becoming more active online again because D: I have no intentions of getting a real job out there that pays me more than $1k a month. Bah.

So in the meantime, I shall blog in point form. About the things... :/

I have been craving for...

Fried Chicken
Sushi
Spaghetti Bolognaise
Kimchi Fried Rice

I have been really annoyed at...

My Mother (which really is no surprise.)
The Weather (OMG WILL IT KILL SOMEONE TO MAKE IT NOT SO WARM?!)
The fact that I wake up at 1:07pm every afternoon, bumming around like nobody's business.

I have been wanting...

TO GO OVERSEAS AGAIN. (I WANT TO GO SOMEWHERE NOT WARM AT ALL!)

I have been doing stuff like...

Painting my nails at 4pm everyday, then proceed on to ruining my manicure and then having to remove it. Yes, I do it everyday at 4pm. ;A;
Deciding that I need to blog, but I have too many shows to watch.
Making plans to edit my videos, but again, I have too many shows to watch.

At least I was productive yesterday. I did my laundry AND wash my bedsheets. D:

Now to start blogging more regularly... D:

Depressingly Hopeless...

2011-04-09T22:42:00.002+08:00

So, after much struggling, I am finally graduating, and leaving, the hellhole known as Singapore Poly, Interior Design.

And I should be happy. Like really, really really happy. But somehow, instead of joy and happiness bursting out of my chest, I became depressed instead. D:

I have had plans for the future, but not everything seems to be going according to plan, which I had already expected.

But instead of picking myself up, like I should, I became so hopeless that I think I am probably really going to end up sad and depressed, doing an admin job for $1k/mth.

I need to find that bit of conviction I had during my internship. The conviction I had to make sure that I avoid doing Interior Design for the rest of my pathetic life.

Dear Lord...

Let me get a reply.

This is what I want to do for the rest of my life

& I would give up anything for it.

RESPECT~!

2011-04-01T20:19:00.005+08:00

In Korea, being respectful is being emphasized because it is THAT important.

When the younger generation show respect to their elders, in return they get the same amount of respect that they deserve.

These days, it is obviously not something common seen because I feel that young people are not getting the respect they deserve as a person.

You see, when we are young, we are being taught that we have to listen to what our parents say, we have to be respectful to our elders etc.

I see myself as someone who have those moral values instilled in me.

But I cannot help but feel that this is not going to work out for me.

Let's see eh...

I am currently working at a children clothes shop. I am a part-timer because I was a student and I could only afford to work on certain days of the week. So obviously, there would be a full-timer who is working there most of the time, and I would come work when she needs to have her day off.

The system is rather simple, no fuss at all.

But there is something insanely wrong with this lady, let's call her S.

There was another full-timer before S appeared. And the full-timer left because of some issues she had with the boss, which was really my bosses' loss.

The full-timer is not only capable, she is also not as scheming and is overall a nicer person.

But anyway, she left after Chinese New Year last year, so S got hired and from then on, everything has gone downhill.

See, S first started out as a rather nice lady. She would do everything within her job scope, which was to make sure that there are labels on the clothes and that the clothes are being displayed out.

But slowly, she started revealing her true colours...

She started hiding the products, most of the products that are sellable. And she would always get her friends to come down and buy stuff from her, oh, and make sure to tell those regular customers to come down and buy clothes whenever she is working which right now means from Tuesday to Saturday.

And whenever I have slightly better business on a day that was suppose to be a rather quiet day, say Monday, because people hardly go out shopping after work on a Monday night, she would call me up and start questioning me, and start ordering me to do things for her.

Like sweep the floor for her, and changing the water.

HELLO?! It is not as if I do not perform all these house keeping tasks. I sweep the floor too ok, every night after I close the shop.

And changing of water is really not something necessary because we never had a pail of water in the shop till she put one in for no rhyme or reason.

She would make me fill the pail up with water, and at the end of the week, I am suppose to change it.

Can anyone understand why I am so frustrated?!

If it is something for the greater good, maybe I wouldn't complain as much.

But see, if I need something in the shop that requires me to change it weekly, and I am the only one using it, I will not ask her to bring it in and make her change it for me when she has no use for it at all.

For some reason, she sees me as an idiot.

I eventually did find out about her scheming little evil plan, hiding all the products. And I just started digging through all the drawers and everywhere else in the shop, and just started hanging every single piece I thought was nice enough to be displayed out.

And two days into my counterattack, she called me up at the shop, and scolded me, telling me not to hang out anymore clothes because there is no more space.

-_-

Yes, scolded, I am not exaggerating here.

Earlier this week on Monday, S was not feeling well, and I was told to take over the shop while she stay at home to rest, not telling me that she was on MC for 2 days.

I already had plans on Tuesday, but because I had to take over her shift, I pushed it back to Wednesday.

Tuesday evening, she called to tell me she was on MC for 2 days and that I have to come to work the next day.

EMPHASIS ON HAVE TO.

You do not tell someone you have to do something or go somewhere because it doesn't give the other person allowance to reject.

I could not push my events for Wednesday any further, because I was suppose to meet up Dorothea and pass to her my camera. And no, I am not blaming her, you ignorant boob.

That night, I told my boss that I could not work on Wednesday because I have something on and I asked if it was ok with her.

My boss asked if I could open shop for a while first, I said I could, and I apologized for skipping out halfway.

The next day, S called me up and scolded me, yes scolded. Saying that I should have told her that I could not work on Wednesday, so she could come down, powering through her sickness and pain, to open up the shop.

Look, I am not being paid extra for coming down the two days she took leave. I still get my basic hourly pay which is pretty much minimum wage. It is not like I will earn a lot more money if I turned up. I am paid hourly, so if I do not turn up for work for that couple of hours, I am not being paid at all.

It just frustrates me to no end that she, a full-timer, has been plotting and scheming to get me into trouble.

It will not be her first time anyway, she has succeeded in getting my mother to quit her job at this shop.

And I am very sure she wants me to leave as well so she can get her daughter to come work at this shop. Since it is near her school (her daughter is studying in the same school as me) and she doesn't have to do a lot because her mother dearest, S, would most likely be there and help her out by hanging out all the clothes, changing the water weekly, and getting some of her regular customers to go frequent the shop whenever her daughter is working.

I am just glad that I will be quitting soon, just so I do not have to face S and her pile of crap at the shop anymore.

I am very sure that just because you are not of a certain age in Singapore, you will not get the basic respect as a human being.

I remember being in Secondary 2, having the "time of my life" with the constant teasing, bullying, and living my life as a social outcast.

Turning to my form teacher for help has labelled me as being a drama queen in class when I requested for me to be put into another class.

But when this other girl come crying to her and ask to be put into another class, my form teacher sat down with her and talked to her till she calmed down.

Seriously people, what the fuck is this shit?!?!???!!

Seriously, if it isn't against the "social code of conduct" to yell at the adults just get a little respect here, I would do it.

I really really would.

I can only imagine yelling at my teacher would give me a direct route to suspension because the teacher has "lost all face" in front of other students.

And yelling at the full-timer will just give her more reason to get me out of the shop.

I HATE PEOPLE. I.HATE.PEOPLE! D<

I'll be baaack~

2011-03-25T16:52:00.002+08:00

So I am back, with a new blogskin, and a whole bunch of shit to blog about. Whee! :D

But I am still feeling very lazy at the moment so uh, I'll procrastinate for a bit longer. :DD

Meanwhile, just enjoy this video.

This girl makes me depressed. ):

2011-02-21T21:44:00.002+08:00

If I lose all the excess weight, I will chop my hair up, or even shave it into a mohawk.

): The world is so unfair.

2011-02-18T11:14:00.001+08:00

IT ENDS AT 5PM TODAY...

Whoever who still reads this space...

2011-02-15T21:17:00.002+08:00

It's the last lap to my Final Year Project.

Lots of shit had happen over the past few days. But I have lots to look forward to this Friday. :D

Like my Harry Potter books, me ordering more from Hot Topic.

And even considering getting a new camera, which brings me to my main topic for this post.

This is suppose to be a post filled with many photos, which I will be uploading later.

FYP period has made me... a little more stressed than I usually am. And in times of stress, I turn to shopping online. I have bought shitloads of things online, and I have burned a huge hole in my pocket. D:

Harry Potter Book Set, Hard Cover, Adult Illustration.
Limited Edition Cadillac Escalade Key Chain.
2 pairs of leggings, which the order should have been cancelled LAST YEAR.
Face Mask.

Yes, I spent a lot. D:

But anyway, I am actually thinking of getting another camera. o_o Because cameras with flip screens are gooood. :D

All graduating students have to take part in a photo shoot, of which the photo will be on our presentation panels/website and shit.

And on the day of my photo shoot, I took my friend's camera and took more photos of myself... Because I am narcissistic like that. ._.

And it just made me want a flip-screen camera even more. DD:

Now I am considering the Canon G12, and Samsung EX-1.

I would want the G12 more because the other brand IS Samsung, and my last experience with my Samsung camera hasn't gone all that well.

Rah, why are cameras so expensive. ;A;

But anyway, here are the many photos I took of myself, and I must say, I take pride in being the fairest among my friends. :DD

Being fair-skinned is a good thing. :DD

A part of me wishes...

2011-02-12T17:30:00.002+08:00

A part of me wishes that I wasn't this fat,

that way I can wear whatever I want, and I won't sound ridiculously desperate when I say I am happy when I bump into an eye candy.

Also, I can eat all that I want without having the fear of being judged by others.

But if I am not this fat, I probably will not be able to filter out the people who are just making use of me. And I will not be able to filter out the guys who are only into girls for their looks. (which is pretty much every single guy I have ever met.)

And I wouldn't have prayed for all the food I eat to be converted to and stored as calcium and Vitamin A instead of fats.

A part of me wishes for me to be a little more capable,

that way I can do things with ease, and I won't have to worry about retaining in living hellhole.

I would be able to complete tasks with ease, and at lightning speed, that way I would have more time to do the little things I want, like sleeping in till 2pm everyday.

And also, if I were capable, I would probably be the one who created Facebook, meaning to say I have found a business that would generate so much money that I could just leave school, or just sell the stocks and retire at a young age.

A part of me wishes to be less sensitive to people,

that way the little things people do will not affect my mood so much.

And I would probably be a much happier person, with a positive outlook on life.

A part of me wishes to be less self-conscious,

so I can wear and behave the way I am, and not fear of being judged. And even if I get judged, I would point the middle finger at them, and tell them to take their asses elsewhere.

Wouldn't the world be a better place if Bruce Almighty, in the first 30 minutes of the show, really is God?

I could pray for all that, and it would all come true.

Note to self :

2011-02-07T23:03:00.002+08:00

DEAR ROO,

HAVE FAITH.

WITH ♥,

SELF.

Happy Fucking New Year to you too.

2011-02-06T00:24:00.005+08:00

Apparently this is what I mean, and where I stand in the eyes of my boss.

Today, I dragged myself out of bed, went to work feeling really annoyed because its the second last day of the most dreaded holidays of the year, Chinese/Lunar New Year.

I hate Chinese New Year, for the many reasons I shall state below...

I HAVE to be nice, meaning I can't curse and swear or say stuff about death. Eg. "I am going to stuff myself with so much food that it will shorten my life by 10 years."
My dad gets pissed if I do not wish him Happy New Year first thing in the morning.
I have to visit my relatives and pretend that I give a damn about their lives.
I have to be nice and wish relatives Happy New Year while listen to them brag about their kids/nag about not having a boyfriend just so I get a red packet which contains a sum so tiny that I can earn it in less than an hour at work.
And of course, there is always the bunch of people who goes to selective people's house just so they can get more money out of it.

Pathetic holiday.

There is an upside to it though.

Like how my room is super neat now, and super clean.

I packed my insanely messy shelf in about 3 hours, and I halved it contents by throwing out nearly everything.

Just look at it! :D

And I packed my makeup into little drawers I got from Ikea. Expensive drawer unit, but I love it because my makeup now is neat and tidy.

I have gotten a little obsessed with cleanliness, and I think it is safe to call me a germaphobe, given that I wipe down every part of my room with disinfectant the moment someone, apart from me, comes into my room and touch it.

And another awesome thing about this holiday is that we get an extended, super long weekend.

The holiday this year falls on a Thursday and Friday. Usually the eve of the holiday is a half-day at work or at school. But this year, my school gave us an extra day of rest. Which means that if I skip school on Monday and Tuesday, I will end up having the entire week off.

Yeah, super long holiday. And most shops are closed too for the holidays. Usually business resumes on the third or fourth day of the holiday.

Which brings me to my point,

I went to work today, like all hardworking employees do for minimum wage. I worked as usual, and at the end of the day, I reported my sales as usual to my boss....

Only to be notified 2 hours later that the shop was only going to open for business again starting Monday.

Meaning to say I worked for nothing today, I got up and dragged myself to work for nothing.

And I only got notified today, 2 hours after I reported sales to her, because she had forgotten about me.

Story of my life.

On a lighter note, I found a pretty picture of me so I am going to post it up because I looked pretty in it.

I wonder...

2011-01-29T02:04:00.003+08:00

I had a dream last night.

And someone in my dream told me that God was around, along with 3-4 random others.

I felt a presence, but it was not a warm, loving, comforting presence.

In fact, that presence itself, was so overwhelming that it was choking me.

I wonder...

What do all these mean? :/

Spammers, beware.

2011-01-27T08:01:00.001+08:00

Sometimes when people spam on my tagboard,

(Refer to my tagboard and you'll see.)

I reply back with kinda sarcastic remarks.

Because I no longer see the need to be nice to people.

Random Rant #2

2011-01-26T01:59:00.001+08:00

School sucks...

Does anybody know?!

I rely much on omens and signs.

2011-01-23T12:08:00.002+08:00

I just mailed out my resume to a company I really want to join.

Before I mailed it in, I was full of confidence. Like literally so full of it that it's showing on my face.

I was confident that I will get in when I mailed it in.

But 15 minutes after I mailed it, I started regretting my decision.

I think instead of impressing the people at the company, I think I will be embarrassing myself more. D:

Sigh...

My life is full of regrets.

I have been praying much to God, asking him to help me get into the company I desperately want so badly.

I pretty much pray to God, asking him for things I want... Probably am not suppose to though. :/

And God doesn't really show me signs all the time.

(... Because everything happens for a reason, and everything has its own time and place. If I can't get in, its because I am not meant to... blah blah blah.)

So every now and then, when I get insanely desperate, I will ask God to show me a sign which is usually pretty stupid...

It's so ridiculous that it's on par with the "I WILL MARRY THE FIRST GUY I SEE WHEN I OPEN MY EYES IN 10 SECONDS" thingy... :/

So yesterday, feeling really depressed, I asked God to show me yet another ridiculous sign.

I was going to play the gashapon machine after work, and I asked God to show me a sign :

If I am going to get in, I will get 1 of the 2 characters I want.

If I get another character, I will not get in at all.

And mind you, there are about 6-8 characters, so if I were to play, I would have a good... 25-33% chance of getting the character I want.

End up, I got the character I didn't care for. D:

Needless to say, I went home feeling extremely depressed, and I ended up finishing another quarter of my tub of Phish Food. ):

Now I'm sad, AND fat. ):

I do realise that it is stupid to put my faith into little games like these... But sometimes, all I really want is a sign, you know? Something that will put my heart at ease, something that assures me that I am not going to fail again this time.

I am just insecure like that. ):

Ryuk 2.0.

2011-01-22T15:24:00.004+08:00

This is Ryuk 2.0.

He hasn't fully transformed yet because I have not found the devil casing for Ipod Touch 4 and even if I managed to find it, I probably won't buy it anyway. :/ The horns are a little... hard to deal with.

Richard Harmon as the display... just for the next few days. ._.

And Ryuk will not be complete without a photo of Tom. :D

It is still a little hard for me to believe that my red nano is dead. D: Or about to die...

I would go home with my Ipod in my pocket, and when I take it out, I would get a shock every now and then when I see it being so huge. D:

I may be using my Ipod Touch now, but I will still get my nano fixed. Just for old time sake, seeing that it's like a best friend to me.

It was there with me when I took my O levels, entered Singapore Poly, and so many other events. It has probably lasted me for a good... 4 years or so.

Dear Ryuk 1.0, you will be dearly missed. ):

Richard Harmon is cute. :D

2011-01-21T22:37:00.006+08:00

I think it is about time I start to settle down a bit...

Not settle down as in starting a family, dammit.

But be less insane than I was a few years ago.

So yes, I guess this means I will not be having any more super awesome hair colours, like my half blond, half black hairdo. ):

Recent events have made me realise that I have friends around me, just that... they are not the sort of friends that I hang out with all the time? If that makes any sense...

I am everybody's good friend, just not the best friend.

The friend that everyone talks to, but will never think about asking her out just to hang out.

I would admit that I felt a little sad at first, when I think about it.

But how can or how will anyone show me sympathy?

I am probably known for being a bitch.

(Labelled a bitch, and proud to be one. HAH.)

There always have to be a group of people I dislike. And when I dislike a particular person, no matter who is the one who ask me to go out, if that person I dislike is there, I will not join in.

I refuse to be around people I dislike because in my head, I will just mock them from top to toe. From the way they dress, to the way they behave and even the things they say.

This post is probably not going to make any sense.

I am tired from working on my FYP. ):

Some things I would like to share...

Ryuk 1.0 is dying, so my dad and I bought a Ryuk 2.0, which most of my classmates have met already. I will update with a photo of him soon. :D

I think Richard Harmon is cute. :D Even if he's a year younger than I am. D:

And while many people make plans to retire in Australia or Florida, I am making plans of my own to retire in Canada. :D

It's such a pretty place and Richard Harmon is Canadian. :D

This means I will be pronouncing OUT as OAT. HAHAHA! :D

My obsession with Richard Harmon has more or less expired, it has been nearly, or even more than 2 weeks since I laid eyes on him...

Oh well, I will need to find a new eye candy soon. D:

Enlighten me...

2011-01-16T01:35:00.002+08:00

I don't get this...

Why do people I am, or was, never close to like to pretend that we have been close all our lives?

I mean, it's pretty obvious that I don't mean anything to you, so why do you keep pretending?

I am not upset because people treat me like trash.

I am angry because people treat me like trash and still expect me to be there when they need me.

You are quick to judge, you never listen when I try to make conversation, you make unrealistic goals for both yours and my future, and you constantly bring other people into our conversations, people that I dislike or find insignificant.

I figured cutting off all ties with people like that would be best for my wellbeing, even if it means an even smaller social circle.

So well, thank you.

You have just lost me because I have decided to cut my losses.

And yes, everything is about me because I figured that if I am not going to be nice to myself, nobody else will be.

It's pretty evident, isn't it? From all the shit you dish out on me.

Motivate me...

2011-01-10T22:08:00.003+08:00

I had critique today.

And it didn't go as bad as I had planned for it to be,

which is a good thing of course.

This afternoon, when Sooyin asked what is going on with me, I let all the lecturers present know that I have lost interest in the course.

And instead of criticism, I got a pep talk. Which was probably what I need.

I have no idea whether it's because of the weather these days, or because I have really lost interest in everything I have to do.

I am just unable to muster up any energy to do anything. And by energy, I don't mean by the kind you get from food. It's the kind you get from doing something you are passionate about. Or something you would love doing.

The past 2 and 3/4 years haven't been that hard. For some reason, only the last quarter seems to be the hardest to deal with.

Apparently this is who/what I am, even though I am not particularly fond, or proud of this trait of mine where I do not complete everything I set out to do.

I wish for motivation... ):

Anti-climatic.

2010-12-29T20:14:00.003+08:00

My day ended in a rather anti-climatic fashion.

You see, today is the last day I get to see a very good friend and teacher before she leaves for Australia for a year.

Today is the last day I get to see her because today is marks our last lesson together.

I gave her a bag I made and a card. But we forgot to take a photo together. ):

I always thought the final lesson will end with a pep talk, with lots of tears and such. Instead, it ended on a good note, lots of laughter and joy.

It was somewhat anti-climatic, given that I had imagined that it will be a sad day...

I did end up going home a little depressed though.

I didn't get to take a photo with her, my Ipod died on me on the bus ride home. ):

But I have lots of awesome yummy food to eat while watching Desperate Housewives. :DD

Like I said, anti-climatic.

When you give up something, you should get something of equal value in return.

2010-12-25T02:20:00.009+08:00

Whenever I am not online or on Blogger, I usually have a long list of things I want to blog out because it is interesting in my opinion.

Posts that will be filled with my opinion on people around me, and how society dishes out shit every single time.

I wonder if it's short term memory, or that blogging is no longer a priority in my life.

I either cant remember what I want to blog about, or I just get distracted with other shows out there.

One thing I wanted to blog about was this :

I was thinking about this as I was about to fall asleep during a sleepover...

I was never a person with a huge social circle.

I tend to get along better with people that I do not know well. Especially those in between ages 13-14.

My social circle is actually extremely tiny. Therefore most of the time, it would be people making time for me, instead of me making time for them.

I was always the type of person who felt that all I needed was just a best friend. I can live my life with one best friend and nobody else.

I then realise, while growing up, that things like that is not going to happen to me.

People around me who have been labelled as my best friend, they all seem to have an expiry date.

So as of now, I probably do not have a best friend, at all. Just close friends around me.

And I was just thinking last night, if I were to run away from home, ever, I would have nowhere to go, literally.

My room is my only place of solitude, the only place where I seek comfort and I can be myself where nobody will judge me for the way I am and the way I look. But these days, there are people who have been trespassing on my sanctuary, and more or less, devalue the place.

I realise that people I thought know me really well have actually been in my life, or have been talking to me for about 5 years or less. And those people include family members.

People I thought I knew, people I held dear to my heart, and people I include in my life, turns out I am not as important a person as I thought I am.

I always believed that loyalty is an important trait in a person when it comes to building a relationship. So when I put a certain amount of time when building a relationship, I always felt that it is important that I get that same amount back in return.

But noooooooo, life is nothing like that.

I am a little depressed these days, and angsty. So dont mind the depressing posts about people and relationships.

I think it is very safe to say that I no longer wish to invest time and feelings on people I know who will not return it back to me. I am sick and tired of getting the shorter end on the stick, investing my time in people around me whom I regard as important, only to get pushed or brushed aside when "someone else better" comes along.

I know that peoples' lives do not revolve around me, but I do not think that I am that insignificant enough to be the only one who is actually doing something and end up being tossed away like garbage after they get what they want.

Story of my life, I really wonder if anybody actually feels the same way I do.

Someone I know once said this to me after I told her my dream :

Is that what you really want?

Or are you searching for something else in the process?

A list of things people who do not know me very well give to me.

2010-12-25T02:16:00.002+08:00

I have decided to compile a list of things that people give me.

People who give it to me without much thought...

Who are clearly not very close to me.

The Body Shop gift sets.
Anything to do with peanut butter, because I do not eat peanut butter.

The list obviously will be extending every now and then.

Just check back whenever.

2010-12-10T23:23:00.002+08:00

I just had one of the worst submission ever in the 3 years of my Poly life.

My work was probably nowhere near 75% done.

And instead of freaking out like I used to do back then when I still cared about something, I was actually pretty calm.

Which is a nicer way of saying that I no longer give two shits about it.

Recent events have made me realise how much I do not give two shits... to anything in general, other than things that involve myself.

I am not sure if it's because it's the time of the month or what.

But I realise that I no longer care about how people feel.

I used to be able to sympathize with others when they leave their clique because of personality differences. Or they are just left out of the group because the people there are just not who they think they are.

I used to be able to, used to.

Right now, I really don't give two shits about it. The sky can come crashing down on me, and I would probably only be bothered to save myself, and myself only.

I'm not sure if it's right to say I have matured...

It feels like I am just looking at things, at life, in a different light because of how things have changed.

People you once hold so close to your heart, people you thought meant the world to you, just because they are your world doesn't mean that those feelings are reciprocated.

The world doesn't revolve around you. And the world will not stop revolving just because something bad happens to you.

And just because someone you think cares for you, doesn't mean that you are all that important in their life.

Everyone in life is replaceable.

If there is one thing I absolutely hate...

2010-12-09T21:57:00.002+08:00

It would have to be thieves.

So your family is not capable of showering you with luxury items you want so you can flaunt and be all "cool" in front of your friends.

That, dear thief, IS NOT A FUCKING REASON TO STEAL FROM ANYBODY.

If you are wondering who I am addressing here, it would be my part-time maid.

Dear God, why are humans so obsessed with making money only, and would rather delegate the task of keeping a clean home to a stranger?

Why?!

My mother went ahead and hired a part-time maid who cleans pretty well. But she stole from my dad and I.

One of my Hot Topic shirts went missing even before I got to wear it. And my dad had his money stolen. In many different currencies.

You would think that I have so many Hot Topic shirts, and that I am rich enough to let her have one.

Well, FUCK YOU.

You want a shirt? Go earn the money to get one yourself.

I do not believe in charity for the people who are fully capable of earning money for themselves.

If you are capable of stringing a proper sentence, and is able to walk and move with no help needed, then you are perfectly capable of getting a job and buying things for yourself instead of stealing from others.

The money I spent at Hot Topic is hard-earned money I earn myself from my part-time job. Don't you for a second think that all the money I spent online or outside comes from my parents. I do get a stable allowance from my dad every week because if he gives me monthly allowance, I will spent it all within a day.

So yes, I do get weekly allowance. But the amount is not enough to buy me anything I want. It is enough to get what I need, but not what I want.

Come on people. Everyone is greedy. We shop for the things we want, not the things we need. If not, it is not called indulgence or luxury.

Because I know the amount my dad gives me every week is not enough to satisfy my greed for material goods, that is why I work hard for my money.

There is a damn good reason why I fucking hate thieves, pickpockets, robbers.

YOU FUCKERS ARE TAKING THINGS THAT PEOPLE BOUGHT WITH THEIR HARD-EARNED MONEY.

May karma bite you in the ass so hard that you return everything you stole with interest.

2010-12-06T23:47:00.002+08:00

If there is one thing I have learned in all 20 years of my life...

It would be that who needs family when you have friends?

Friends come before family...

No matter how I see it, whichever angle I look at it, it's always the same.

Friends before family.

By the way,

I fucking hate Interior Design.

And I can't wait to be done with it.

2010-11-30T19:01:00.002+08:00

Nothing, right now, is pushing me to want to continue Interior Design.

I would rather bum around at home, sleeping in till 2pm every day than to go to school and do my Final Year Project.

If only there was a way for me to bum around at home till late.

I'm just saying...

2010-11-20T02:50:00.003+08:00

I did a bit of talking with a friend today... and it made me think about many things...

I am firstly, VERY WORRIED about my future. ;A;

I grew up as a child, not knowing what I really wanted out of my life.

I always thought that my life would end after O levels because nobody told me about university and the working world.

I grew up pretty weirdly, I guess, maybe that was why I have to work extra hard to get what I really want after I graduate.

I can only name Korean celebrities, and a few others because I live in my own little bubble where I only care about what I think and how I portray myself for the world to see.

People like G-dragon of BIGBANG and BoA have been training since like... 12? Or even younger because they know what they want to be when they grow up.

And I, at age 20, finally decide what I want to do with my life, but it feels like I am 8 years past the age where I get to decide.

If you ask me, I pretty much am not able to remember what I have learnt back in primary or secondary school because everything just past me by, and all I can remember are the sunsets, me getting into trouble and all the other bad stuff that happened.

I just wish I can just, turn back time.

Maybe if I knew that by working harder then would make things easier for me now, maybe things will not be the way it is today.

I'm just saying...

2010-11-18T22:58:00.002+08:00

I always believe that someday I will become rich and famous.

And when I am, I will not even need to think twice about flying anywhere I want because I have the money to do so.

...

I am very very tempted to just book a ticket to fly to Japan or Korea right now.

Very, very very tempted.

:/ Christmas wish-list and stuff...

2010-11-18T21:58:00.003+08:00

I haven't updated in centuries, I apologize.

Nothing much have happened recently, apart from me getting a new table, a new-old table lamp and a whole bunch of other stuff like my mother threatened to to divorce my dad...

Other than that, life is actually pretty normal.

I figured that I should stop being anal about not blogging unless I have something insanely awesome to share with the world.

So randomness is the way to go. :DD

My critique session is tomorrow, not looking forward to it.

I really cannot wait to be done with Interior Design.

I look forward to bumming around the house a lot more after I graduate... :/ If I can graduate. D:

And today, I have decided to do up a Christmas wish-list. :D

It was random, but I figured it's time for me to get it anyway. :D

A box set of the Harry Potter series in the adult hard cover. :D
I am considering Percy Jackson and the Narnia series too.
I am thinking, more sneakers. :D
And maybe a new camera, because I am currently thinking of selling my ixus 100.

Canon cameras are like Nokia phones.

They come out with new designs like every other month. My ixus is less than a year old, or so. And already it's considered old. D:

Roar!

Hi, my name is Roo and I am actually painfully shy.

2010-11-02T21:04:00.006+08:00

Hi, my name is Roo and I am actually painfully shy.

And nobody believes it.

I wasn't exactly inspired by anything to do posts like these but I figured it would be blog-worthy. ._.

So...

Growing up, I was never this confident of myself all the time.

I still am not confident, I just look like I don't give two shits about everything when in actual fact I am very self-conscious and that I obsess over how people look at me.

Proof of being self-conscious : You are most likely to find me thinking about what I had said a few years/months/days/hours/minutes back and if I find what I had said to be cringe-worthy, I will cringe and kind of scold myself for saying stupid things like that.

Yes, I can remember things I said back at certain events. But usually they just spill out so fast, I won't remember them at all. It has to be of some significant event for me to remember really well.

I digress. :/

But yes, I am not as out there or insane as I portray myself to be. In fact, if I could, I probably would want to just stay indoors or wear black all over.

It all kinda started when I was 12, going on 13.

I mixed with some people whom I regret hanging out with. I guess my time in secondary school was meant to be a dark, dark period for me.

Growing up, I was never fully aware of the people around me and how they looked at me.

When I was 11, a classmate turned the class against me, and yet I still survived because I didn't give them the time of the day when they were talking shit about me.

(Some girl backstabbed me in the most random way. And I obviously can still remember it till today.)

I wear the clothes I wanted to wear, I apply makeup in weird colors all over my face and I parade myself out like that for the world to see.

(I was into makeup ever since I could walk, apparently.)

I didn't care if the shirt was too tight, or that I looked like a clown. To me at that age, I.WAS.COOL.

At least I was cool enough to do shit that nobody in my school dares to.

Then came secondary school.

I got closer to a girl whom I have known since I was 7, we were in the same class then.

We started hanging out because we took the same bus to and from school and we were in the same class together in Secondary 1.

Soon we started hanging out after school, meaning walking around aimlessly at random areas.

And I remember the first time we went out, and I had gone home to shower and change, she saw what I wore and said,

"Isn't the shirt a bit too tight for you?"

Then BAM!

That was the first time I felt so conscious of myself, and that was actually my favourite shirt. D:

I remember getting a really bad haircut, and eating too much fries when I was about 12-14. And God knows if she is making this up, but she said as I was alighting from the bus, these two boys were saying how stupid I looked because of what I was wearing.

Looking back, she was never really a true friend.

If she was a true friend, she probably should and would have stood up for me. Or at least keep her two-cents to herself. I would prefer she keep her two-cents to herself. Saying things like "Isn't that shirt a bit too tight for you?" is not exactly a damn nice thing to say to your friend when your friend didn't ask for your opinion.

That just gave me another reason to hate her, heh.

& from that statement above, it's probably obvious that I am no longer friends with her, even though she was still stalking my Facebook page.

This post is getting insanely long, and I have not even reached the main points yet.

That was the start of me being self-conscious. And age 14, Secondary 2, was a dark dark period for me.

Having ballooned up after eating too many packets of fries, my appearance is not exactly appealing. And to top it off with an extreme bad hair cut, I guess it is safe to say that I felt like a loser, and am a loser at that time, complete with no friends in class.

NOTE : IF YOU THINK YOU'RE A LOSER, THERE IS A VERY HIGH CHANCE THAT THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE A LOSER TOO. Other than your true friends, of course, who aren't the sort who doesn't do any work and want you to do it, and more stuff along that line.

I felt even more depressed as the people around me started getting into fights and a friend told me that the group of girls who were genuinely nice to me in class actually dislikes me a lot.

Yay me for being self-conscious.

At age 14, it was a dark dark period where I was a fat loser. But that same year was the year that I started growing out the confidence you see on me today.

On, not in, because I do not feel confident inside. I just look the part on the outside.

I got myself into some after school activity club, and there, I met some of the nicest people in the world.

I mean, come on, at that time, whoever was willing to make friends with Fat Roo has to be nice. Like damn nice, nice.

And there was this group of seniors who were just D: in my opinion, super cool. :/ It probably was the way they carried themselves, or the aura that they have. I soon found myself being really annoying and took inspiration off one of them.

Took inspiration, which was actually a nicer way of saying that I am trying to copy her.

She was probably annoyed with me. They probably all were.

But it was thanks to them, especially her that I became the person I am today on the outside. ._.

And it's thanks to her that I have my sunglasses collection today. :D

(I have gotten 3 more shades after I took this photo. It's on my banner, all 3 of them)

And I am pretty happy that her love for all things pink, fluffy and girly did not rub off on me.

So Jemi, if you are actually reading this, which somehow I hope you are, I really need to thank you for this. :D

And Carol too, for all the stuff you taught me, beauty-related like applying eyeliner and eye brow grooming. :D

SO ANYWAY.

Despite me starting to be a little more confident of myself, I guess that 14 year-old me is still trapped inside.

She is a part of me, but I wish she would die somehow and just let me live my life in peace.

This post, is a proof that she is still in me and I hate it.

I hate being shy, but somehow when I want to do something I love, she just comes out. ROAR!

She comes out, and ruins things for me. ):

And people just don't believe it when I say that.

I know this is a weird ending to my oh-so-emotional post.

But this is it.

I refuse to go on anymore, until I decide that I want to.

Random Announcement.

2010-11-02T21:00:00.007+08:00

This is a little random, but I am actually thinking of doing a

"Hi, my name is Roo and I'm ..." series.

It will be blog posts where people uh, "get to know me better" without me divulging too much private information in this hi-tech digital world. :D

So yes!

:D Just click below at the "Hi my name is Roo" link at the bottom of this post to view them all. :D

New blogskin & more! :D

2010-10-31T00:54:00.002+08:00

Ok, so I finally got a new blogskin. :D

I know it is a very basic one, but the previous one was just... D: so incomplete that it doesn't draw me to blog about anything at all.

ROAR.

I have been thinking a lot lately.

On top of getting pissed at people who probably have no idea that I am pissed with them.

Yay, it sure is nice being me. -_-

I have finally come to this conclusion : I have anger issues.

Major anger issues.

I usually am able to keep it in control, but recently it has been slipping out without me knowing anything.

I am just glad that there is no student-guidance-thingy in Poly for those who have major issues like anger management, or the suicidal.

Yeah, we (meaning our parents) pay good money for education. Expensive education, if I may add. And we don't get to enjoy student privileges like cheaper transportation fees, and someone to talk to when we need help when we are on the verge of committing suicide.

Meh, I am just glad they don't have shit like that. I was "recommended" to go for something like that back in secondary school. And while it was nice to have someone to talk to, it was also... a huge waste of my time.

Unlike for some, it is nothing near therapeutic for me. I have a better time talking to someone else these days.

Speaking of which.

I realise I would rather have a toy as a best friend, than a regular human being.

(Like I said, I did lots of thinking.)

Toys are less likely to leave you, betray you, make you sad, or infuriate you.

I just bought a new Transformers toy, and I am thinking that I am going to buy more.

I seriously need to get a life... D:

I shall randomly end this post while I go find something stupid to do. :/

... Did I mention that I am currently obsessed with Tetris? D:

I even dream about it while sleeping. D:

I really, really need to get a life.

And I have 2 videos to edit. D:

PHOTO! : New banner?

2010-10-23T22:08:00.001+08:00

I am considering using that as my new blogskin. :/

Should I or should I not?! D:

Random Rant #1

2010-10-20T23:06:00.004+08:00

It is one of the days where I feel utterly useless.

I have tried recording a video for like an hour or so.

I recorded till the battery went flat, and yet I did not get proper footage of anything.

In fact, I ended up deleting the best take because I thought I could do better.

And it didn't help that when I went on to Allkpop to see a bunch of stuff I do not want to see at the moment.

Maybe this is it, maybe this is what I am suppose to do...

Watch people live out the life I have always been dreaming of.

Live off doing things I hate for little money, or just live off my brother.

For once, I want to feel like there is nothing in the world that I can't achieve.

Why does it feel like I am counting right down to seconds to my worst nightmare.

I need to do something soon.

Something I can do that will not make me regret my choice...

2010-10-19T19:29:00.004+08:00

I am not going to say much about what has happened today.

But if you say you don't want to work with a freeloader, what makes you think that people who got the same site as you want to work with you?

And it's blatantly obvious that you picked that site because you have found yourself someone nice enough for you to leech on.

And clearly I don't care if I get sued for defamation because I have worked with you long enough to know that you are a freeloader.

People choose to let things go and live their lives when things don't go well for them. I choose not to do that obviously, and I choose to get angry instead because letting things go just means giving up on things you want.

I choose to get angry and bitch all about it on my blog, knowing that the world can see, and knowing that while there are people out there who are going "O.M.G WHY IS SHE SO CHILDISH", at the same time, there are people who agree with what I have to say.

Photo! : Cakes and Bags

2010-10-19T17:14:00.002+08:00

These photos are long overdue...

At least the photos of the bag is overdue.

I made a bag for Chu's birthday. :D Which kinda led me to think that I could have a future in this instead of slogging in the ID industry.

(I have a rant post coming up after this. But for now, photos first! :D )

So here's the bag :D

I made a giant top :D.

This is the bag and the top, and a photo taken at a very bad angle. :/

This is the inside of the bag, showing my excellent workmanship :D

And just the other day, I tried out a recipe, making chocolate cake using the microwave oven. :D

I have a regular convention oven, but I have yet to use it and using the microwave oven to make a cake is pretty convenient. :D

And even if it looks like shit, it still tastes the best. :D Super rich chocolate cake is the best. :D

PHOTO : MY NEW TOY! :D

2010-10-08T21:35:00.004+08:00

Meet my new toy :D

:D A Roo PEZ Dispenser!! :D

Ignore the hair yo, I took this photo after making cookies and cookie-making is hard work ok.

PHOTO : MEET MY NEW FRIENDS :DD

2010-10-06T19:34:00.003+08:00

I mentioned before on my blog that I bought a bunch of random, useless stuff from Ikea.

They are not entirely useless...

:D I bought 2 tiny pots of cacti, one for my room and one for school.

Because everyone knows how boring it is in school. And design students should just... really personalise their own work area. :D

So these are the cacti I had bought...

And you'll probably think it's damn ugly. Well, I only bought them for a reason, that it hurts when you touch them.

So to all the idiots out there who are going to annoy me in class, you watch out.

I HAVE MY CACTI!!

I wanted to name the one on the left, Unicorn, because its spikes stick out and concentrates on one area, like a unicorn's horn. But it sounded stupid, meh.

And I was with someone and that someone said, "Call it Bill... looks like his hair anyway"

Quite true, eh. :D

And the one on the left, that someone named it JoBros, because its 3 of them stuck together. -_-

Roar, I might have just killed the JoBros a bit by watering too much... :/

So this is unofficially named Bill. :D

And this is the unofficially named, JoBros... :/

Wake me up when September ends...

2010-10-04T22:29:00.003+08:00

I know I haven't been updating as much as I have been planning to. :/

Last week had been a... pretty emotional, yet insanely annoying one.

You see, my grandmother had just passed away...

I, for one, am not very close to her. Our conversation every once a year goes a little something like this all the time.

R : Grandma.

G : Mm.

R : ...

G : *starts to ramble about being nice and filial to my mother in future*

*Mother nodding with approval.*

I am going to sound like an unfilial grand daughter in this post, but so what?!

Nobody is going to comment on it anyway. :/

Last week, while I was at her wake, I have made a few decisions on my life and death.

I will want a Western or Christian funeral. Where people go to the church, hear good stuff about me, sit down and talk about the good and awesome stuff about me while enjoying the buffet provided. Or they sing songs and walk around my coffin and the pastor prays.

I am not a Buddhist, Taoist, or any of the religions that requires the burning of joss sticks and kneeling and chanting.

(Sermons are like speeches, where the words are clear to me instead of chanting prayers. :/)

So being an offensive bitch, I really do not get it why must I kneel and listen/chant along with the monks. I really don't.

That week was only an emotional one because of all the drama around. You see people sobbing, people fainting, people crying till they fall down.

I only felt emotional when I saw my grand mother's coffin going into the furnace.

(Furnace right? where her body + the coffin got cremated)

Despite being the only unattached grand daughter of hers, I do have some fond memories of her. I remember her sitting outside whenever we go visit her after church.

I remember her giving me the ginko nut dessert thingy which I ended up giving to my mother because I HATE ginko nuts and the dates and the white fungus in it.

I remember her looking less weak and frail. And I remember the time she was able to talk and ramble on and on about taking care of my mother in future in Teochew which I obviously do not understand.

I guess I can only remember the good stuff when the person is really really far away from me. When their flesh and body can't be seen anymore, and when it gets shrunk from a coffin to an urn.

I don't feel particularly attached to anyone at all, actually.

I think I kinda scared a few people with my indifference. :/ The way I did the whole ritual without tearing, crying, sobbing or looking sad or something. :/

And it doesn't help that after the funeral, all the shows I watched happen to be really really sad. Like people leaving the guild (Fairy Tail), old people becoming senile (Can't Buy Me Love) and a lot of other ridiculous shows. Roar.

I shall just update again tomorrow.

It's Tuesday, and I am embarking on a new project soon. :D

Oh, and I did ok for my internship. :D I passed, and I am happy about it.

PHOTO! : LMC MAYA LOOKALIKE.

2010-09-27T01:01:00.003+08:00

I realise I look a lot like Maya in this neoprint I took recently with my friends. :D

The new machines have this function where it automatically enlarge your eyes by adding on eyeliner, whether you like it or not.

And I usually am not seen in public without a bit of eye makeup.

Oh, and I am starting to regret not signing up for the Korea or Japan school trip, because I think I would love to go shopping overseas right now.

But then again, even if I do apply, it's not like I will get in considering my GPA. :/

Sighh..

Temporary Skin... Roar!

2010-09-27T00:49:00.003+08:00

So it seems like I have changed my blogskin to what it was back then when I started out blogging.

:/ The one without my ginormous photo up there as my blogskin.

My friend "is doing the blogskin now" and it will be done in 2 weeks. So till then, please read my blog with this superbly boring one I got from Blogskins.com.

Recently I have been indulging in a few random FLIPS on my Nintendo Ds Lite.

For you random people out there who have no idea what FLIPS are, it is something like an e-book, which means my Ds Lite is like a mini Kindle.

So I have completed the Percy Jackson series two days ago, and I am starting to read this series of chick-lit books from Cathy Cassidy.

I don't particularly enjoy them, but they seem decent enough and I can complete them in 2 hours. :/ So it really is not so bad.

I just hate chick-lit right now, seeing that the main character of the first book did not end up with the guy she likes. And the main character in the second book almost did not end up with the guy she likes.

I am a little apprehensive about reading the next book, and I am most pissed at the fact that the girl in the first book did not end up with the guy.

You are probably unable to understand why I am so pissed, I don't even understand it myself.

Heh.

Oh, and I frickin love the Percy Jackson series.

I think I just might love it more than I love the Harry Potter series. :D

I think the movie came out just in time, unlike Harry Potter, because the Percy Jackson movie came out after all the books were written, which makes it... a lot better to me, considering that the last few books of Harry Potter were written as they were producing the movie.

I don't really get what I'm typing above.

But I think I am trying to say that because of the timing of the movies, the Percy Jackson books feel like the author is not writing for the sake of money.

If you are a hardcore Harry Potter fan, you probably will hate me for saying this, but seriously, don't you think the standards of Harry Potter books have dropped ever since a huge deal has been made about it with all the movies and merchandise and cult and religion controversies. :/

I probably do not get what I am typing out right now, considering that it's nearly 1am here, and usually at this time, I will be reading on my Ds Lite, whose name by the way, is Morpheus Poofy Cloud.

Named after the minor Greek god of Dreams and the high school that Cosmo and Wanda from Fairly Odd Parents attended. :D

I shall abruptly end this post while I find something to eat.

I think I will be baking soon. My oven is rotting somewhere in the living room, still brand new in its box since the day it got here. ROAR!

Hey there, HEY!

2010-09-24T22:40:00.004+08:00

FOR ALL YOU PEOPLE OUT THERE WITH A FACEBOOK ACCOUNT...

My friend is taking part in a competition, and I would like it very much if you could all help by voting for her.

CLICK HERE TO VOTE!

Her entry is on the first page, under the name Kuridoki.

You would most probably find her name familiar if you hover around Deviantart...

Hi, my name is Roo and I am a shopaholic.

2010-09-21T01:00:00.004+08:00

Hi, my name is Roo and I am a shopaholic.

Just last Friday, I went out with my friend, in hopes of enjoying my day with shopping and sushi, which I obviously did.

And just before 7pm, my friend had already bought probably 10 items, and I had only bought 5 pairs of earrings at 90 cents each, which was pretty shocking, considering the fact that every time we go out, I will be the one who shops the most, buying everything useless and ridiculous. So I was actually rather proud of myself, for buying those earrings and those earrings only.

Until we went into Marina Square's Zara...

In there, I bought a pair of jeans, and a black cardigan. I needed a black cardigan, but I didn't need another pair of jeans. I already own 2 pairs of Zara jeans, both of which I have yet to wear them out. But I couldn't resist because they were bleached, they fit me, and they were destroyed/destructed-looking. From there, I had already spent $110 on all those.

And it didn't help that there was a 15% sale off regular priced items in the participating outlets of some event. And one of the participating shops was Topshop.

This is so sinful, I went in and bought another pair of jeans, the pair that I was lusting after for quite a while now, which cost me $80 after the 15% discount.

Oh, and I went to Ikea today and bought $26 worth of rubbish. Not really rubbish, but just things I like and just went ahead and got them.

Needless to say, I have to cut down on my shopping for the next month. Yes, next month. There goes my order for some cosmetics and brushes I had my eye on since like, beginning this year.

I obviously need help with my spending. ;A;

*sinks into depression*

And it doesn't help that I was told that my current part-time job will not last me for a very long time. The contract of the shop is expiring soon and there's a very high possibility that the boss will not extend the contract.

With the sudden thought of the loss of my job in future, I have come to realise that I will NOT be able to sustain my shopping needs on and offline.

Given that I still have my allowance, it is not enough for me to shop as much as I do right now just by surviving on that.

Somebody help me, please? ):

All you need is love.

2010-09-17T01:25:00.003+08:00

I just had one of the worst weeks in my history of worst weeks. :/

I broke down in front of someone, which is not something I do, at all.

I can literally count the number of times I broke down in front of someone (excluding family) on one hand.

So you can just imagine how bad it is for me to actually break down in front of someone... on a random day.

It pretty much all started from my inability to appear vulnerable in front of anybody.

And my want for someone to love me a lot and shower me with a lot of attention... probably. :/

I have been up to some... stuff recently.

And I was questioned why am I doing this because there has to be a reason for me to turn up every week and go through the same process. :/

It is nothing scandalous or skanky, stupid.

I was asked why, and it broke me down.

I was trying to get into character, getting into the mood of being emo to be able to do it.

So I had actually thought of some random people, and many things that had happened before.

And suddenly when questioned why, I just couldn't answer and just broke down.

This post is getting ridiculously hard to type out because... my vocabulary is so limited that I am incapable of telling people how I feel.

It just seemed like, all I wanted was attention, and still am seeking that one stupid thing called love.

I feel like my time left to do anything I want is running out...

My youth is dwindling, and I feel like, everything I do, every decision I make cannot be something that is spontaneous or impulsive anymore.

I want to be able to decide things for my own, and to be able to do things on impulse.

I am still young, as many would say.

I want to see the world and make mistakes.

Sighh...

I shall just conclude this post like that. It is pretty emotionally traumatising to put myself through it again, having gotten much fun over the past few days.

A piece of me.

2010-09-13T02:20:00.001+08:00

I have a weirdly unachievable dream.

The more I think about it, the more I think I will not be able to make it.

But as that happens, at the same time, I think it is very much achievable since things like that have actually happened in real life.

Why am I such a weird person?

Random update.

2010-09-12T01:56:00.004+08:00

I have changed the way I blog since the day I started blogging here.

I started by blogging about the things that went on in my life, the random thoughts I had in mind.

I blogged about the eyecandies I had in school, and that I needed to poo.

(I do realise that there's some sort of a flow going on here, like I am writing a poem. :/ It is obviously not intended, stupid.)

A friend of mine put on her Twitter that every tweet has their own shelf life, and I realise that is pretty true when it came to my blog.

I am counting on the fact that one day I will become super rich and famous, known throughout the land for my awesome sense of fashion and hair.

So all the things I have blogged about cannot be offensive one way or another.

And I certainly do not want to be classified as "part of the 80% who blogs about his/her daily life". I do not see the need to blog about what I eat, what I do, and how pissed I am at the fact that I, a person who hates being in the middle of crowds, am stuck in the middle of crowded area full of smelly people.

I tried to set myself apart from the world, which is already pretty much shown by the way I dress and the way my hair is.

By the way, my brother said this shirt is nice, but my mother thinks I dress too much like a cartoon character. D:

And that was the shirt I wore.

:/ I know it is a fake Jeremy Scott, but I like it ok. D:

The original one is a sweatshirt, and it's not practical for wearing in a country of such insane climate. D:

I have come to realise that despite being boring and the norm, blogging about what you eat, what you have done, and where you went and your chatlogs with your friends, it has actually become... ... really interesting.

I know this blog post is not making any sense. I just wanted people out there to know I am not dead yet, and am very much alive, and my hair is looking like a lion's mane.

I have spent my days doing stupid things like,

Watching anime.

Get pissed over 2ne1. (I have a love-hate relationship with them.)

Watch more anime.

Swoon over the awesome main character in the anime.

Complain that guys in Singapore are nothing like that.

Add to my list of what Singaporean guys should improve on.

Then putting it on Twitter for the world to see.

Going "YES YES! OMG YOU THINK SO TOO RIGHT!" with random people online.

And then going back to watch more anime.

Ah yes, and shop online like no tomorrow.

On a random note,

I think it will be really entertaining to webcam with Maya of LM.C. :DD

We can compare cheek sizes, and how squishy our cheeks are. :D

I shall just end this post here because I am going to pressurize my friend to do up my new blogskin soon.

Yes, you're reading it right, I am getting a new blogskin. :D

Now I probably need to organise another photo shoot... D:

Time flies too fast...

2010-09-01T03:46:00.002+08:00

She...

Was my best friend back in Primary School and Secondary School till I was in Secondary 4.

We kinda lost contact since then, because I avoided her with my dying will...

Today I am feeling a bit nostalgic, because I went out to meet another Primary School classmate of mine, Chuting.

Chuting left for UK at age 14, she's a year older than me, and she did not come back to Singapore for the past 7 years.

She's from China by the way, and no, she's not like that annoying China bitch who snatched your seat in the MRT/cut your queue/spit on you/step on you without apologizing.

She is more... civilized than that, considering that she left China at a very young age.

No, I am not saying ALL people from China are like that, but apparently most of the China people my friends and I encounter happened to be whatever I had describe above.

I was feeling that random sense of nostalgia, so I decided to write this post, and also because I know it's been a gabajillion years since I update this space.

I miss my best friend, the girl pictured up there.

(No, she's not Chuting, if you read this post carefully.)

I miss the time she would call me up in the randomest of times at night when everyone at home would be sleeping already.

And we would talk till about 1am, which was considered to be extremely late at age 12.

I miss the time we would always hang out together during recess and after school because, truth be told, I got along better with her friends and her more than I do with my own classmates.

I miss the time we would sneak over to the market opposite our school (because we were banned from leaving the school during the lunch break before our enrichment classes.) and buy ice cream and fizzy drinks.

I miss the time I would go over to her house, and we would set up a tent in her room and do stupid stuff like... playing Reversi in there.

I remembered a time I hurt her feelings indirectly once, and in turn she hurt me back many years later.

I started becoming close to this thick-skulled friend of mine (INSIDE JOKE.), Kt, because of our love for random Japanese stuff like anime/manga and Japanese pop music.

And slowly I became a lot more close to Kt than I was to her. :/

I know she was hurt because I... did something I was not suppose to.

HAHAHA, but she did that same thing back to me.

(No, that was not the thing she did to hurt me.)

As we graduated from Primary School, we got separated because her parents felt that the secondary school I was applying for did not have great facilities.

(But seriously, that school was under major renovation/construction that's why. And the holding school SUCKED BALLS.)

(And I know whatever I typed above looked very much like a lesbian love story, but hell no, we are both straight.)

So we got separated, but we still keep contact with each other, meeting up to go out on random weekends to the only place we know, which was Takashimaya. -_-

She lost a lot of weight since Primary School, and she obviously is pretty. So naturally many guys flocked to her, and slowly our phone calls became all about deciphering what the actions of those dumb boys meant.

I got sick of it because it went from trying to decipher to trying to defend what it meant. So I started avoiding her calls.

... I don't remember when she stopped calling. But I only remembered keeping contact with her through Friendster. -_-

Now, when we meet up, things are just awkward.

Gone are the days where we would do stupid random stuff together.

And I kinda miss that...

Now she has her own friends, and I am still stuck with the friends I made since Primary and Secondary School.

My social circle decreased as the others increased... I feel like I have reached a stagnant point in my social life where there are no more people I can meet and make friends with...

Time flies too fast, and after meeting Chuting today, I just felt a lot older than I really am.

I miss being young and the ability and luxury of doing things without thinking.

I suppose I am the only person I know who can't decide on what she wants to do in future.

I want to take Liberal Arts, I want to do Graphic Design.

I want to take up Music, I want to do Animation.

I want to do Visual Communications, I want to take up Dance.

I want to be a Korean popstar, I want to be Tom Kaulitz' wife.

(Please just ignore the last statement. It's meant to make the above sound more... rhyme-y.)

People I know are expecting me to do Interior Design after I graduate.

Like find an Interior Design firm, or pray hard that the firm I interned at would want me.

Then work hard as a designer for the next 30-40 years of my life till I retire/die.

I do not want that.

I resent that idea because there are so many things I can do and want to do with my life.

I think I am still living in my own little world, where I have yet to grow up.

I still believe that dreams do come true if you work hard for it, and I still believe that there are more things in life to do than to study, get a job, then screw your life up and just die like that.

I guess I really am scared to go out and work...

I can only imagine the horror... Facing a boss who will scream his/her head off at you for doing crappy work.

Or face the fear of retrenchment, or pay cut, or not earning enough money for you to retire when you're old. D:

I don't want to end my youth like that...

I WANT TO GO BACK TO BEING YOUNG AGAIN! D:

Photo!

2010-08-27T15:25:00.002+08:00

I mounted a bunch of pictures on a piece of black mounting board and stuck it on my wall. :D

My wall is finally looking... interesting. :D

Collecting money later, I hope I dont spend it on something stupid... D:

Tokio Hotel Eon5.

2010-08-23T15:10:00.014+08:00

Felt the need to show off my awesome bun :D

While waiting for F.Cuz and LM.C to appear outside the hotel, I made friends with this really nice girl name Eka, and she has tickets to Entertainment on 5 for both Tokio Hotel and Katy Perry.

Just the day before Dorothea and I went stalking the Korean celebrities, she had found the twitter account to Eon5 and they said that whoever is interested in attending the interview for Tokio Hotel, just email them and they will respond within 3 days.

BUT, 3 days from then was the actual recording. I don’t have the time and heart to wait for them to tell me on the actual day that I got the tickets. It was too much to handle.

So anyway...

Tokio Hotel’s interview was scheduled in the evening, whereas Katy Perry’s was scheduled in the morning. And Eka only wanted to attend the Katy Perry segment, so I asked her nicely if she had any tickets to Tokio Hotel to spare because I thought I had no chance of getting them.

And on the day of the interview, instead of giving me the one she has, she ended up giving me 2. :D THANKS EKA, even though you are probably never going to read this.

And Eon5 emailed me just an hour after I got back from meeting Eka in town to collect the tickets from her.

Suddenly, from I-AM-GOING-TO-SEE-TOKIO-HOTEL-ALONE, it became I-CAN-BRING-2-OTHER-FRIENDS-ALONG!

And nobody other than me was interested in meeting Tokio Hotel. ROAR!

I had to beg Ah Mun like that so she will go with me.

Fine, it was a failed attempt in copying Puss In Boots. :/ BUT STILL!

I managed to drag her along with me. :D

And she said it was her job to keep me from going too crazy and rush up to grab Tom and tell him that I am his one true love.

Hahahaha!

So we cabbed down to Mediacorp.

The event started at 7.30pm, we headed down at 4pm. It’s never too early to start queuing up.

We ended up waiting outside the gate where it opens and leads out to the studio.

But being lazy and a total typical Singaporean, I couldn’t take the heat and went inside the lobby to sit down and enjoy some air con while I could. And I took this time to write a note to Tom, in hopes of giving it to him when I get to see him later at the interview.

CAN YOU FEEL MY HEARTBEAT, TOM!

(I am liking my makeup in that photo very much. :D)

Ah Mun said I cannot be let in because I am 5 and children under 6 will not be admitted.

Nice girl I met there, who gets lots of news and updates her twitter and tumblr with lots of Tokio Hotel stuff.

:D SHE SAID I LOOK MORE LIKE 17 THAN THE 20 I SAID I AM. :D

Ok, the people there were being naggy and whiny about us fans. I got to sit somewhere pretty close to where Tokio Hotel was.

Lots of photos, just look at them!

The event started at 7.30-ish pm, and it ended at 8pm on the dot.

It was both annoying yet exciting at the same time.

Exciting, because I got to see my husband in flesh! :D

Annoying, because I waited nearly 4 hours and all I got was half an hour of him?! That’s not very fair, people.

Not to mention, I did not get to pass him my love-letter... ROAR!

Oh, I had forgot to mention, I actually met some really really really nice people there.

As I had said above, I was “resting” in the lobby because I am fat and lazy and cannot survive in Singapore without air conditioning.

I had went to the toilet, and Ah Mun came running in with a panic-y look on her face because the group of girls who was at the lobby with me went out. ALL.OF.THEM.

And when I went out, I found out that the queue has extended from the gate where we once were, to the end of the stairs. D:

I was being a good citizen, so I didn’t cut queue or push my way through claiming that I was there first. Instead, I stood at the end of the line like what other people should do instead of cutting queue.

When we first stood outside the gate to wait, I kinda started talking to a few girls there. THIS IS WHAT YOU CALL FAN-GIRL BONDING.

So when I was standing behind, feeling a little depressed because I was fat and lazy and needed the air conditioning, one of the girls, Sarah saw me because she was walking back to look for her friend.

She said “Why are you so far back!”

And then she offered to let me cut queue and stand with them at the front of the line because she said I was early anyway and it would be really sad to see me come so early but stand so far back.

Her friends agreed to it too, so Ah Mun and I managed to cut in and get some really awesome seats. :D

So to Sarah, Megan, Masturah, Jessalyn(sp?) and a few other girls I met at the studio, THANK YOU! :D

And they were suppose to add me on Facebook... but I guess they couldn’t find me. D:

My week of stalking... kinda.

2010-08-22T14:01:00.006+08:00

One particular week, I spent the last few days of the week and the weekend on chasing after celebrities who were in Singapore for Singfest and the Sundown Festival.

Obviously it was a waste of my time, judging from the older posts I have below that I am no longer living in the safe, little bubble I call my imagination.

It first started with chasing them from the airport, the Korean ones, F.Cuz and After School.

That was when Kan waved at me :DD and Dorothea mentioned that I take in a lot in the 3 minutes I saw Kan because I remembered that he was wearing a black tank top, white formal shirt, navy blue jeans, silver hi-tops with black laces, and was carrying a beige messenger bag with black straps.

Oh and he was wearing a fedora too. :D

No pictures because the ones taken were blurry.

Oh and After School came out before them. Bekah took a photo of us, Gahi looked really short because the rest were in 4-5 inch heels and nobody really noticed UEE’s presence.

Obviously when it comes to After School, this was what everyone could say when they spotted them

“OMG I SEE A BUNCH OF LONG LEGS!!!!!”

That, I have a few photos of.

Credits to Dorothea who took them.

The day after, we met up at IMM to uh, stalk them? From the back door where the event was held.

My phone, being crazy that day, went out of battery just before I could find out where Dorothea was waiting for me at, and I had to find a power point somewhere to charge my phone for that mere 2 minutes. D:

It was crazy la. I was waiting at the taxi stand, she wasn’t there. I was expecting her to be somewhere else, but yet was half-hoping that she’ll turn up at the taxi stand. D:

Note to self : Charge phone and camera battery to MAX the day before stalking. And DO NOT use the internet on the phone, it just uses up the battery a lot. Oh yes, and do not lend your phone to your friends whom you know have itchy fingers. They might go online and waste your battery.

So anyway, we parked ourselves at what was supposed to be the strategic spot; the only entrance up to where the event was supposed to be held at.

Alas, the security guards were being a bitch, not really all of them. Just this particular one who was all enthusiastic and ecstatic when she found out that they needed one more person upstairs with the security, but super bitchy and selfish when it comes to sharing information.

Oh, and did I mention that Dorothea’s good friend came along too? :D

I have no idea how to spell her name, but she’s really nice AND she loves Arashi AND HER FAVOURITE MEMBER IS OHNO.

And she loves/likes BIGBANG and she digs up secrets on 2ne1.

Ah, where has she been my entire life? Hahaha!

The stalking that day was a fruitless one, not only did we not get to see F.Cuz, we didn’t even get to take a photo of the only band we saw, which was LM.C. (MAYA, I LOVE YOU!)

Well, I kinda saw F.Cuz... I think.

I saw a guy who resembled Jinon starring out the window and at me. I obviously stared back because I couldn’t make out who it was.

And Maya waved and said bye to us in his deep deep voice. :D

At least that was some sort of consolation. :/

Lee Minho Meet & Greet.

2010-08-21T20:31:00.007+08:00

Ok, I admit I have been feeling extremely lazy and have been pushing to do these blog updates to the very bottom of my to-do list.

But as the list becomes longer, I can almost hear it shouting out to me “ROO, UPDATE YOUR BLOG~”.

So these stalker-like posts will be done in two parts.

Meaning, LMH Part 1 and 2, Tokio Hotel Part 1 and 2 etc. Unless there is nothing much I can say about the event...

Hahaha, truth be told, I actually do enjoy attending these events. Lots of credit goes to my Narsha-lookalike friend who has gotten some awesome free media passes for events like these.

... I shall stop rambling and get started on the posts. D:

It was a bright and sunny Saturday for the Lee Min Ho meet and greet.

I woke up and went to meet Dorothea with no breakfast in my tummy. ):

My dad went to get breakfast a little later than usual, thus a long queue, and I was already running late. D: I had to take a cab to Marina Bay Sands out of desperation.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. If there is one thing I really hate, it has to be cabbing to a place when the train would do perfectly fine in getting you to your destination.

I get carsick that’s why...

So like I said, I went to meet Dorothea, and we got some food. Wheee~.

Headed back up to the event area and went outside to take photos a bit. :/

AND I WAS SO NEAR KAN! >_< ... Like near their hotel... Hahaha!

My hair was looking awesome in the sun. :D

I miss my blond hair though ...

So I had written a note for Kan because we had decided to go wait at Marina Mandarin for the F.Cuz boys and L.MC... and After School, but I don’t really like After School...

On to the event...

The host was a Radio DJ... who can’t speak/pronounce Korean for nuts and sounded pretty weird trying to get us to hurry up in Korean.

And... I know this is not her fault, but she is always in the way when I take photos. I doubt anyone else felt the same other than me... :/

I took a lot more photos than those I show here...

But my compact camera is not exactly awesome DSLR quality. So heh, here are just some shots that are decent enough for me to post up.

At the end of the event, I guess I came out as a Lee Min Ho fan.

Kinda.

If perfection is what you like, then it probably is Lee Min Ho.

That dude has no bad angles and he’s actually pretty charming in a way.

I am not exactly a HUGE fan of Lee Min Ho, and actually I am pretty happy that I am not a fan of Lee Min Ho till I went for the event because you go in with no expectations of this celebrity.

Rather than chasing a celebrity whom you have high hopes for,

*coughKANcough*

It actually has adverse effects because suddenly that celebrity you thought you like actually is nothing like they portray themselves to be on tv.

I am very much still alive.

2010-08-15T23:37:00.003+08:00

I finally bought the bag I wanted.

I know I havent been posting up lately...

Soon la, soon. Let me finish up with some stuff I have to do first.

Short short update.

2010-08-08T16:51:00.002+08:00

JUST A SHORT SHORT UPDATE. ):

I have been feeling absolutely lazy for the past few days.

My project is nowhere near complete, and I am still working during the weekends, yay me. -_-

This short update to tell you that I am very much still alive, and I have a few interesting updates to do when I am finally free from my project.

I haven't even made a video in a week, and it's my birthday soon. ;_;

So here are the posts I will be doing up soon, so till then, please wait for me. D:

Lee Min Ho Meet and Greet session.
F.Cuz and After School in Singapore with lots of bad photos.
Tokio Hotel on Entertainment on 5.
My birthday.

I wish that damn fake bubble would burst.

2010-08-02T22:40:00.004+08:00

I guess my bubble has officially been burst.

I saw Tokio Hotel today. Hell they all looked like walking sculptures. The perfection...

I wonder what it must be like to be European, to have such awesome features, to be from a land where everyone looks like a supermodel.

But yes, despite it being all awesome, seeing Tokio Hotel, F.Cuz, After School, Sug, Lee Min Ho and LM.C for the past few days, instead of being happy, I am in fact feeling extremely depressed.

There's something about celebrities.

You see them on covers, you see them on the internet, you watch them on TV and you hear about their news on the radio.

This had actually created an illusion, a barrier if I may say, that they are of a different caliber than us regular human beings.

Everything they do seem perfect.

From the way they look, to the way they behave. Even the things they say, no matter how rude it is, is like music to your ears.

(Or at least it was like that for me.)

Friday, or Thursday, marked the first day I took a chance and attempt to break down that barrier between us.

Between the celebrities and me.

At first, it was pretty addictive, I must say.

You get to see people you never thought you would ever get to meet in this lifetime. And you start thinking, or fantasising, how life will be like if they had a significant part to play in your life, like dating you or even starting a family with you.

(I am called Roo KAULITZ for a reason.)

But as I attempted to break down the barrier between us, oddly enough, I started having this empty feeling inside my heart.

(I am just being melo-dramatic here.)

If there is one thing I hate feeling, it has to be the feeling of not being good enough.

(And believe me, I think about that, or feel that way on a regular basis.)

And with that barrier nearly broken down, there pretty much is nothing left for me to live for.

And hell, since Tom Kaulitz and Kan were two of the only few celebrities I am obsessed with at the moment, I hope you will be able to understand how I feel.

The two that I am obsessed about are the very two that I did not get to make contact with.

(Post-Its la. I made eye contact with Kan and I think Tom looked at my direction once.)

I hate having to think that I am not pretty or good enough for them to lay eyes on me.

(I probably am not good enough. But you are only completely defeated when you yourself think that way too.)

And there is it, shattered dreams and broken hearts were all that was left of this suicidal attempt to break that stupid barrier between the celebrities I idolise and me.

I am wondering if I had made the wrong decision, going all out just to catch a glimpse of them.

Because to them, you are probably just another face in the sea of fans they see all the time.

And they probably won't remember you unless you are super awesome enough to do something that will make them remember you enough.

I always loved having crushes on celebrities, despite their scandalous news.

Because I always thought that they were too far away to harm you, and that is very true.

I really probably shouldn't have gone all the way to see them, because it has pretty much left me devastated with the thought that all guys are the same.

If Singaporean guys are not receptive of me, what makes me think that celebrities will want me?

Hell, I hate having thoughts like that.

And worse, after seeing celebrities for the past few days, Singaporean dudes really do not cut it anymore.

Fan girl to be...

2010-08-01T17:58:00.003+08:00

A fan girl, I have become.

Yesterday, I went down to Marina Bay Sands Resort as Media for the Lee Min Ho meet and greet session.

And straight after that, I went down to Marina Mandarin hotel to stalk F.Cuz and LM.C.

And this coming Monday, I will be heading down to Mediacorp studio for Tokio Hotel's interview on Entertainment on 5, and I am thinking whether I should go for their fansign on Wednesday.

I know the above sounds beyond crazy.

Stalking celebrities offline, in a cab and what not is not something I would do because I never thought of it to be something logical.

But after all that had happened yesterday, and the day before, I realise that celebrities probably will never remember their fans.

Anyway, F.Cuz were either dicks or their manager is one.

They didn't take any of the presents that were being shoved to them in that brief period. Oh well, they were candy in the first place.

All they could do was smile in their performance outfits at us and look at us from inside their vans.

They came down around the same time as After School, and when After School was boarding their van, the fan girls went chasing after them, leaving me behind in the dust cloud.

And there I was, standing in front of F.Cuz's van. I didn't get to make eye contact with Kan anymore. And I pretty much am not a huge fan of the other members (Sorry fan girls.)

But I guess... I could have pretty much done the Jiggy dance and waved at them in hopes of them remembering me a bit more. After all, I was the only one left right in front of their vans while the rest of the group went chasing after After School.

I like LM.C.

Aiji, despite being a meanie and not wave bye to us on Friday, waved to me when the van drove off.

And Maya waved bye to me specifically because he looked up, looking for me, just to say bye.

(Probably because we wished him happy belated birthday. ... This means he's a Leo too. :D)

I guess this is it.

I am converting from a Kpop fan girl to Jrock.

Now I wonder... how am I to send them presents. Heh.

This coming Monday, I will be seeing Tokio Hotel in the studio. I doubt I'll get to be anywhere near them. But it's nice anyway... seeing my husband right in front of me for a brief period.

Groupie... heh.

2010-07-30T23:21:00.002+08:00

Yesterday marked the first day of me being a groupie.

I went down to Changi Airport to chase after F.cuz, and to see After School. And I can't believe how crazy I actually became when I saw Kan up close. ROAR!

Today, I went down to IMM, in hopes of passing maybe a Post-It to Kan with my contact details, yes, I am crazy that way.

But it turns out, they were not coming or going off from the area I had parked myself at with my friend. Their van did go pass us, and I think I saw Jinon starring back at me as I starred at the van with the impossibly black glass.

A little thing that made me quite happy was the fact that this J-rock group called LM.C was standing at area where I was at, and didn't budge at all. :D

And the cuter of the two, who was sucking on a lollipop, waved and said bye when we waved and said bye to him. :D

Lollipops seem to be his thing.

F.cuz was a sad disappointment. I hope to meet him tomorrow outside his hotel after the Lee Min Ho meet and greet.

Today's stalking was... awesome, despite not being able to meet Kan up close and handing him my blue Post-It, which he will probably throw anyway.

I went home thinking about what had happened today, and I was glad I came.

ay.

For that 2 hours, all I could do was giggle about meeting F.Cuz, then sigh about them not alighting at our area, then gushing over the fact that Maya from LM.C, the cuter one like I said, waved and said bye to us.

For that 2 hours, that was all I could think about. And it made me not worry about anything else. Like my school work, my grades, how am I going to apply for university in Korea, and some other stupid things like I want to buy brushes, but I can't buy till I get my pay.

Tomorrow will be the last time I call myself a groupie, I know Tokio Hotel is coming this Tuesday, probably with the Wonder Girls and Katy Perry because they are all coming down from MTV World Stage in KL.

I don't think I have the energy to continue doing that.

Shopping... for the day?

2010-07-29T01:40:00.006+08:00

Today, or rather, yesterday, I went for another interview at a modelling agency.

The very same one that I went to 5 years ago.

They still have the chairs from 5 years back, but the location and the interior and exterior has totally changed. And the price of their composite card/portfolio has obviously increased, as usual, but it's slightly lesser than the previous one.

(It's $470 for 3 outfit changes for this one, and $690 for 5 outfit changes for the previous one.)

Thing is, despite knowing that it's more or less a scam, I still am tempted to join that company. Must be the compliments they throw at me...

I was told to bring a photo of myself, which I did show nearing the end of the interview.

And the lady, probably was just being nice, said that I have a very nice face shape (Ohohoho!) and that if I were to do my composite card/portfolio, I should totally do a wild theme, and she said that I will have to bring my sunglasses along for it.

Well, seeing that I have a collection of them, I guess it made me happy that someone actually... appreciates it, in a way.

So that was the photo I brought along.

Obviously I photoshopped it. How else will the photo look so bright.

I went back after my interview with the agency.

(I was given a few days to think about it, as usual.)

I stopped by a bookstore on my way back because I was looking for a particular book. I found it, bought it, and I totally regretted it.

This is the book I bought : Korean for Dummies.

Because I am so ready to go to Korea and become a popstar. Ohohoho!

But seriously, I have intentions of going to Korea to study Liberal Arts in German language/literature.

Ironic, I know that I am going to Korea to learn German when I have no clue on how to read, speak or write in any of those languages at all.

But I bought it anyway, hoping that I will be able to pick up Korean before I actually head down to apply for the university, of which I am still thinking because I know my family is not actually able to afford it...?

Korea is the cheapest I can find. $4-5000 for a semester or a school year is pretty cheap when you compare it to Australia, which is about $30 000. Singapore Dollars, that is.

But to apply for a university in Korea as an international student, you will have to take a Korean Proficiency test, of which you have to pass 5 of the 6 levels, or else they will either limit the modules you can take, or might just reject you, I think.

So I am here, trying to learn Korean with my dying will. And I thought this Korean for Dummies book will be useful.

But turns out, you don't get to learn Hangul with this book.

(Hangul, the writing part. You learn how to speak and enunciate with this book.)

So pretty much, this was a waste of money. $50 for the book, I feel the pain in my pocket. I could have gotten the German one for slightly lesser. :/ Oh well, I am going to make the best of it, and attempt to learn Korean soon.

There are a few things I just wanted to blog it out, just so it gets into my head a bit.

I have been missing school/turning up late for class for the past few days. D:

It is not something I am proud of, especially since I was known to be one of the few who turns up the earliest for class back in my first and second year of school.

I think I have become a lot less interested in the course I am taking, because right now all I want to do is get over and be done with Interior Design.

I roll out of bed at the time my class starts, and will not pop into class until a good hour or two has passed.

I love design, but I think I just hate my course. :/

It's been a while.

2010-07-28T01:03:00.003+08:00

Hi there,

It has been a while, nearly 3 days in fact.

A little update, my life has become slightly better. I no longer fear getting fired during work. And I am finally on track with my work. Yay me? :D

A little thing I wanted to share... Brainwash, if people would say.

I am never a very religious person. I did go to church when I was younger, and I do believe that God exists. I just never wanted to commit myself to God, because well, I have to socialise with the fake people in church.

Yes, even in church, there are still cliques, Popular vs the Not-so Popular. And I hated that, because soon it will be like high school, instead of a place where you go and give thanks and praise the Lord for everything he has done for you. You will start to dread going, just like I did.

I still pray, and I still believe in His existence.

And all I can say is, praying really does help.

I forgotten when was the last time I prayed to him about something.

It was only when I started worrying about getting fired, then I thought of it. ... And also because there's a new Christian bookstore that had just open at West Coast Plaza.

Just wanted to share.

If you are a Christian who had stopped praying, maybe it's time for you to start again. It really does work wonders. (:

And no, hell no, I am not going back to a church full of fake people.

Photo!

2010-07-25T14:29:00.001+08:00

I look older... That's why. D: Omg. D:

In times of stress and anxiety...

2010-07-24T01:14:00.008+08:00

I was preparing to go to bed, but I decided to play around with my camera instead.

... Oooo, rhyme-y words.

But yeah, my week, like I said, was not a great one.

I am lagging behind in school work, and I more or less have decided that I hate those concept projects that the school has planned for us.

Not that I think that it's not of any use to me.

I just hate that it's so conceptualised that it's making everything so hard to visualise.

I have more or less decided that I do not want to have anything to do with Interior Design after graduating... That is if I manage to graduate next year and not retain.

I don't mind doing it freelance, of course, with a team of people. D: Not by myself. D:

I don't even mind doing AutoCAD right now. Or do AutoCAD for the rest of my life.

(I just realise that there are only that many commands you can use on AutoCAD. The rest depends on your ability to think of the shortest way possible to draw out what you want.)

Liberal arts, I want to study you now. ;A;

I just realise how fast time has passed.

So fast that it made me really scared.

I can't stand the thought of not having some people in my life after graduation. I find it really horrible, the thought of working after graduation. I hate the idea of having to go into society, and not have awesome hair or wear awesome clothes, and spend a lot more money because you get so stressed that retail therapy is the best way to relieve stress within a short period of time.

I am extremely stressed with this current project, and I really do not want to retain.

(Sorry, I am ranting this.)

I have made it a point to sing at the top of my lungs when nobody is at home when I am stressed instead of shopping online, like I did back then to relieve stress.

And right now, I can feel my vocal chords becoming extremely thin and dry and that they might just snap anything soon. D:

I really have no idea how to describe vocal chords. But yeah, I think I sang/yelled so much at home that it's actually hurting my throat.

... So you can probably tell how stressed I am.

Either that or I am just feeling super emotional. It happens every year around the same time, which is around my birthday. :/

This year was suppose to be a good year. It is a year I am suppose to work hard towards my dreams and aim to graduate without a that-bad GPA.

Part one of it is nearly complete.

Part two is a bitch.

Anyway, DAI! PLEASE TEACH ME KOREAN! D:

I started playing with my camera again, just before I went online and decide that I should post them up because I have nothing better to do with my life, other than spending time stressing out on the models.

A few random shots I took from my dresser/vanity thingy.

I realise I really love it when it auto-flashes. The picture comes out super nice.

Yet, it's a bitch to get it to auto-flash on its own.

When you turn on your flash, the photos that come out of it is super harsh, the lighting. D:

Auto-flash somehow turns out better. D:

... But then again, when all else fails, there's always Photoshop.